lonely sobriety
 

hi been sober for the past three months my wife sleeps on the couch till i fall asleep.It has been a lonely past three months i wish i could talk to somone

Welcome Wess, loneliness plays a huge part in recovery, reading different threads on here I think you'll see that. Its a shame your wife sleeps on the couch till youre asleep, why?

not sure i should clarify i am not abusive to her just was to myself

Oh ok, no worries...well all you can do is look after yourself and your sobriety for now. Finding inner strength is important, look after yourself and try to keep busy, watch a favourite film or anything to try and distract you, post on here, read some stories....you arent alone on here :)

Sobriety is a lonely place at first. Changing all the persons, places, & things is very hard. I started attending AS & NA meetings & have made many new friends. That is a good place to start.

I agree...sobriety is lonely for a while. I just used that quiet time to heal, try to mend my marriage, and learn to forgive myself. Things are really good now. It takes time, wess. But it's so worth it.

Welcome Wess, we are here for you! I'm also a contractor (plumbing/heating) out by Lloydminster

Congratulations on 3 months.

I'm almost 2 months sober, and very lonely too.

But then I think... better alone than in bad company.

hello thank you have family in the area

Hang in there, I'm sure your wife will join you in bed once she gains back some of the trust that alcohol took away...

I hope you feel better, Wess.

Lots and lots of people at AA meetings just waiting to listen to you. :)

I know this feeling all too well. My husband slept on the couch for 7 years. I'm going to be joining activities so that I can meet people and have sober fun. I am in AA, do some car club stuff, and am thinking of starting yoga classes and perhaps some art classes (acting class is fun too!).

This forum is great as well to help with loneliness. Hang in there.

Go GEAH happyface:

Wess, know that feeling, and has been essential to make a plan consisting of things I like to do, that involve spending time with others, and things I just like to do....I live on my own too, so have to

Am moving house soon, so have been checking out availability of all the things I now I like now, and used to like when younger....joining a choir, improving my piano playing taking lessons, going to the philosophy school I study at, and finding a new AA home group. True too, that I like solitary activities, and when in the flow of them, I don't feel lonely...

An AA friend and me were talking loneliness the other week, and sometimes it is as simply relieved just by passing the time of day with someone...the simple how are you's and having a brief laugh...even if it's only with a neighbour or the person at the checkout, leaves me feeling I am part of the human race again, and relieves that alone feeling no end

Wish you well

lots has changed
 

OK four months now,Feeling much better. It took awhile but i am now adjusted to being sober.(mostly)I dont want to go back to my old life even though boredom seems to be a problem these days i enjoy the clarity and feeling healthy,my beer belly is shrinking which is a bonus,And I seem to be more aware of the effects of my actions have on other people.any ways I just want newcomers to know that it does get better over time maybe not easier but better.

Hi wess, thanks for the post.

I just wanted to tell you that it does get easier too. The better it gets the easier it gets. Congrats on the four months!

Way to go on 4 months Wess. I think it is great you updated it is inspiring for others to read this.

the important thing for now is to stay sober

possibly counseling for you two ??

MM

Great to hear wess - congratulations :)

D

why does your wife sleep on the couch? why are you in the doghouse?

glad to hear you still doing okay wess. Keep it going. The loneliness in the beginning was huge for me. I'm still climbing out of my shell at 5 months.

4 months is huge!