Johnston

There are more than a few people sitting in cells right now who felt justified in acting on their anger. It takes way more courage to put the past behind you and move on. Keep sharing how you feel, a lot of us have been there and still struggle with the same issues.

Chilledice

Believe me If I did take my revenge it really reaaaally would be justified, however with that being said I really don't wish to spend 30 plus years rotting away in a cell. My life is worth more than my hatred.

ReadyAtLast

I can relate so much .When I was newly sober I had such strong feelings of hate and rememeber posting a similar thread to yours. people told me it was a resentment which I didn't know but of course do know now. I 've learned so much from SR.

Someone said when a bad,angry,hateful thought of someone goes into your head accept what they've done and forgive them. Then let it go. It sounded crazy but you know it worked. Not immediately but with practice. Now 12 months or so later I get the occasional hateful thought. I recognize it for what it is and let it go.

I've also done some reading and work on the power of positive thinkng and thought stopping/switching which has helped. I realize that when I have bad thoughts they're not affecting or hurting the people I' mthinking about-they are only affecting me and making me feel bad.

You can learn to control your thoughts-don't let your thoughts control you

Correy

Ouch. I work on a guilt and forgiveness project and I came to believe hatred is one of the most destructive feelings one might have. However, it is something that is happening to us, instead of being us, so there's a way to deal with it.

I'd recommend some education into the issue at hand:

-- A Little Fable as told by Lewis B. Smedes in his Forgive & Forget book may be a nice start;
-- His Art of Forgiving is worth looking at but if it's religious overtones bother you, you may wish to check out
-- Forgiving Dr. Mengele (yes, that Nazi Mengele) by Eva Kor. There's a book of hers and also a movie of the same title by Bob Hercules. Quite an inspiring woman, that Eva Kor;
-- Etty Hillesum and her Gratitude in Concentration Camp (!?) is great thing to ponder, while at the Nazi era and, as always, I'd strongly recommend you to find EVERYTHING from Marshall Rosenberg, perhaps starting with
-- Pretty Poor Protoplasm Poorly Put Together by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. or "how to make your life miserable." (yes, that is meant to be funny

For advanced stages I'd always recommend you to check out Petar A. Levine on trauma et.al. and let him and your research take you further.

BTW - I also know hatred and its toxicity for the soul - that's one of the reasons why I work on that project

Good luck.

Michael66

Hey there ChilledIce

You are very honest about your feelings. That must be a very positive sign. And you recognise that you"re replaying the tape, so the one moment someone irritates you becomes amplified again and again and again, just like the depressed person who ruminates on past problems, or the anxious person imagines a frightening future event.

Have you ever tried a loving kindness meditation?

Here is an example .... http://youtu.be/sz7cpV7ERsM

God bless you, and thank you for sharing with us so openly and honestly.

Holli

No, I reject this. I read the posts in this thread, and I've experienced anger and resentment myself, and I don't see similarities in what he has posted are his thoughts and feelings and what others are posting or I have myself experienced. I urge you to re-read his actual posts. Read the actual words, don't project your experiences, feelings and emotions into them.

ReadyAtLast

Each person's thoughts and feelings are their own though. Just because one person hasn't felt something or experienced something doesn't mean another person's feelings or thoughts are not valid.

Anna

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Chilledice

Woaaaah Holli please let me just express that I am NOT going to hurt ANYONE' however when I was once young people hurt me in a very bad manner, so ofcourse I wish to hirt them back! But I am CHOOSING not to! I am trying to rise above it and somehow find the ability to forgive sp I can heal :-)

P.S I'm using my android tablet which is just awful to type on so please forgive spelling mistakes :-)

toddle118

I think most of us realise what you were trying to say chilledice, dont worry too much about explaining yourself, its good to talk emotions through, better than drowning them by drinking!

Chilledice

Thanks Toddle :-) its great to come here and just talk about things :-)

toddle118

Yeah, agreed, we all get dark thoughts at times, it can often be a sign of depression I found, when I stopped taking my meds I would get crazy thoughts and scare myself. Its just your mind playing games, they pass...remember they are just thoughts

Chilledice

I appreciate this post thank you :-)

I find it better to talk about things and get it off my chest, you guys have been great and im lucky to have found this site :-)