FreeOwl

Somewhere around 80 days. Haven't checked my app in a while. Had a lovely work trip in London and - sober and clear - off to Paris.

Last time I was here I was drinking. A LOT of beer. At the airport, the metro, the RER, the train station, the esplanade.... as I crossed all of these places there were flashbacks. Realizing how constantly I drank brought back a mix of shame and perhaps a little flash of nostalgia.

A whiskey advertisement on the train in a magazine.

A fleeting thought of certain colleagues and - they drinking, but me not...

These were little signs. Little flashes of a reminder that I have not been to a meeting in a long time, have not opened up my step program workbook in weeks, haven't had time to post here much on my trip.

So last night I lay in bed and reminded myself some of the reasons why I choose sobriety. Thought about some of the glum and despairing times involving alcohol, said a prayer of thanks for my sobriety and asked for strength to hold it clear as my chosen path. Reminded myself I WANT sobriety and health.

Logged on here so I could post this and scroll a few other posts to help reinforce my choice.

So today it's off to work clear and strong and sober and that's the way I'll continue on.

Paris is nice when you're sober. And so is going back home... sober.


Have a great day everyone!

Sober.

Finnie

Think of all the beautiful sights, the coffee, the food. That would be enough for me!

yeahgr8

This reminds me of all the wonderful places I have been to for work and holiday. The vast majority I never left the Hotel room or bar and if I did it would be within about a mile radius!

Dee74

Have a good time FreeOwl

D

Looking4Help123

Thanks for that post FreeOwl there are things to think about for me.

Sulu1

FreeOwl, I had a week sober in Paris last year and it was one of the best times of my life. Such a beautiful city, full of emotion, no need to drown them there!

Shoshie8

Thanks for the post, FreeOwl. This made me reframe my thinking a bit about my next trip to Paris, or any other city for that matter; a chance to see it anew through sober eyes. Bet I've missed loads...

FeelingGreat

I remember spending half my time travelling plotting how I could drink again.

toddle118

Have a great time, and I second what others say, I went to Amsterdam and spent the majority of it in a few bars, missed all the sights....this time you will be able to truly enjoy it

Johnston

A few months into a relapse some years back I decided to visit my son, who was studying in Barcelona. Of course I had to sample all that delightful Spanish wine the few days I was there. It was sad, there in the midst of Gaudi's architectural masterpieces and all I can think of is the next glass of red. The last night there I was in bed, the room spinning around me thinking "WTF?". On the bus to the airport the next morning I had an atrial fibrillation attack, which thankfully stopped before I boarded. What sad memories. All of my own making.

toddle118

Drink robs us of so much doesnt it?

Ruby2

Hi Owl, thanks for the update. I'm glad you posted. Have a great rest of trip.

EJ43

Mmmmmmmm Paris, one of my dreams! Please share some of your amazing sights and adventures as you will be out and about enjoying the city!!!

FreeOwl

Thanks everyone!!

I am only here for a day and a half, and most of that taken up with work agenda items. However... today when my colleagues were off to the bar and restaurants to do the usual evening drink-eat-drink-eat routine, I hurried up to my room, changed and took the metro down to Place de la Concord.... From there I ran a just-under-six mile loop along the Seine, down to the Eiffel Tower and back up the other bank which ended in the most beautiful sunrise over Paris from the bridge at Concord.... the Grand Palais and the Eiffel Tower framing the sun going down over the Parisian skyline.

I have still had several moments of drinking thoughts.... not cravings, more little flashes of a glass of wine with colleagues or an 'occasional' one glass with a customer. I'm not really sure what's suddenly triggering all of those thoughts, but I am glad to notice them and to then consciously remind myself that I know better. One has always invariably led to binges eventually for me. Not nearly every time, but seems like it always eventually wound up there. And funny enough I have been to Paris many many times.... but this is the first time I've ever been here SOBER.

What a beautiful, warm-breeze spring evening it was. What fantastic sights and scents and sounds and sensations running along the cobbles beside the river and taking in all the energy and depth of this place without a haze of chemical glop sloshing around in my brain!!

Tomorrow I get to head on home. It was a quick trip just for work but I'm sure grateful for that hour this evening.... running and smiling and living one of my most memorable visits to Paris while my colleagues sat around somewhere pouring alcohol down their throats. I'm pretty sure I made the right choice.