Chilledice

I realise that Midnightblue honestly I really do realise that, it was a foolish mistake I wont be making again. I know that 3 beers will lead to 6 which will lead to 12 and so on and so forth, im just stating that hey atleast THIS time I didn't crash in major fashion. I am not advocating moderation for myself, I was lucky this time!

yeahgr8

Just keep posting and looking for a solution, the worst thing you can do is go off again solo. I'm not sure if I had a beer whether I would think that 3 beers is better than 8 at all lol

Go to an AA meeting, see if you can get some identification and stick around here.

FeelingGreat

When I was out to dinner in early sobriety a waiter put a wine glass in front of me and my reaction was like it was a hand grenade I think I gave him a fright!

Raider

I don't know what to say to support you. I'm sure you know no one is going to tell you to drink it. Maybe because I'm new in sobriety, and struggle a lot, I am not sympathetic to someone who buys it then puts it on this site looking for support. Maybe I'm jealous because you are drinking and I am not......

Leshar

Wow, Raider, you are the one to be envied. Stay strong!

Raider

Lasher thanks. I hate my jealous feelings. I don't even know what I'm jealous about.

Amajorityofone

As I read through these posts, a quote I copied into my clean and sober journal comes to mind. Hopefully, it will be a benefit to other members as well in the not too distant future.

12th September, 2013-

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it”


-C.S. Lewis

Chilledice

No need to be jealous of me! I caved and gave in, what a stupid stupid mistake for me to make!

You have sobriety and you have fought tooth and nail to get it, we are all so very proud of you

I really wasn't looking for sympathy, I bought the beer out of a moment of sheer MADNESS, and then I realised it was wrong of me to buy that beer, hence why I needed to come here for help and support, I made a stupid mistake, a mistake I shant make again!

I do admire you Raider really I do

LBrain

I decided that tomorrow I am going to go down to a local bank and burn it to the ground.
Just thought I'd share that with everyone.

If anyone wishes to log on to give me support that's fine. But I don't need any advice thank you.

Chilledice

Im sorry but was that aimed at me?

Holli

I suspect so. Don't you see why we can't support your decision to hurt yourself?

Chilledice

I wasn't asking for support to hurt myself, I made a stupid mistake buying that one beer so I needed people here to slap sense into me and support me through my sobriety. I HOPE that makes sense?
Because sometimes I say things that make sense only to me lol

KateL

Bit strong! xx

GreenEggsAndHam

I feel for you Chilledice. I've gone through this battle in my head a million times. Just today on the way home from IOP I was crying on the phone completely frustrated that I couldn't have just 3 beers to calm my irritation and anger that's been building the past few days (started wanting one then two then somehow the magic number was three...?)

Anyway, I forgot for a minute there that I'm on Antabuse and run the risk of getting very sick if I drink. I blocked that out and all I could think of was drinking. But instead I called three people, including my sponsor, to cry it out. So sick of this internal battle. My sponsor helped me sooooo much in working through my feelings and helping me realize why I've been so irritable and the desire passed.

I'm hoping you have or find a really good support network so you can call someone first next time. SR is not enough for me - I need a bunch of other help, at least now in early recovery.

LBrain

Chill Chilledice.
Yes it was meant to be thought provoking. I apologize if you felt it as an attack
on you personally. And so true that much of what we think or attempt to project can be misunderstood by others. We are very complex creatures.

Just try to stay the coarse. Do not tempt yourself and avoid situations that will take you down if you can.

Good luck. Stay strong.

Amajorityofone

Friend-

Telling a sober forum you bought a beer, then asking for help, then in spite of that help, drinking it, and 2 more anyway is no different than Aesop's fable about the boy who cried wolf. The moral of both stories is the same in that once respect has been lost, especially around here, it is more of a probability, not a possibility, that that same forum will stop taking you seriously.

This is why experience is the most brutal of all teachers. She is the only one you truly learn from.

Chilledice

I really do not mean any disrespect in my reply to you.

Firstly a lot of people here are not sober, a lot of people come here because they are TRYING to become sober, secondly the boy who cried wolf was an all out liar who told the story about a wolf '' for kicks '' I certainly hope you are not implying that I am similar to the boy who cried wolf!

If people here would with all sincerity stop taking me or anyone seriously because of giving into addiction and then lose respect for me giving into addiction then this would certainly not be a helpful place for someone dealing with addiction to come to for support.

We are here because we are ADDICTED! and addiction firstly lives in our minds before it takes over our lives ( in my opinion anyway ) our minds can play a lot of tricks on us when we are trying to recover from it, so what do we do when that happens? sometimes we come here and type it out, and that is not AT ALL a reason for people to lose respect for me and not take me seriously.

Thank you.

KateL

Hear hear. To be frank, when I was in that dark place and hoping for people to say. 'don't do it' and even if I went and did it anyway, sarcasm and detriment would have sent me backwards to be honest xxxxx Sorry my spell check has gone all mad. I hope I haven't made any mistakes xxxx

MarathonMan

People should lay off....stupid mistake, shouldnt have done it, but are we here to judge show harshly.....the bank metaphor was patronising and disrespectful...

Next time chill dont bring into the house.....have a good long think while in the shop.

Dee74

Lets all relax guys.

Chilledice - you've gotten some great support here, sometimes we need to hear it straight.

Let's not forget tho - hate the addiction not the addicted - lets keep our comments constructive please.

D