chaos34

Hey SR!!

It's been a while since I last posted here so I thought that I'd at least check in. Today is my day 8 and things have gotten a bit easier for me. Things started to get a bit worry some for me Day 4 in the evening (last Thursday). I found myself a bit edgy and standoffish to people. In my head I was like holy crap, here's the cliff. I jumped on here and read the boards and put myself to sleep. Friday I was fine for the most part until again in the evening around 1130pm. This is when I pick my AH up from work. He's been pretty quiet and not pushy about my sudden decision to change my life. Except this night he asked if I would stop at the beer store for him. Mind you I really didn't want to, but he hasn't had the desire to change.

The hurdle was the weekend, Sat and Sun. It took everything I could from not trying to kill him!! (No, I would never commit this act, IJS) He drank from sun up til sun down both days and I nearly lost my mind!! I know that I yelled at him a couple of times because being the sober one watching the drunk one, it took a toll on me. I was fighting the urge to have a sip with him. Drinking together was what we did, how we spent time talking to each other. I never knew that I would become jealous because of him drinking and me not drinking. At this moment I'm not really sure that the emotion I had was jealousy.

There were good moments. I went to me son's karate practice and was ablt to enjoy conversation with the other moms!!! Before I was always scared to get close to others for the fear of people smelling alcohol on my breath or it seeping out of my pores. It was a an amazing feeling. I love to smile. I like making others smile.

This all brings me to today. Day 8. I have a week under my belt. My thoughts on hygiene have been renewed and I'm slowly bringing myself back around. My mother is still an irritant to me, just not as much. She's tolerable now.

I'm still eating like a horse. Planters Heat Peanuts and Mt. Dew take away my craving to drink. Still no shakes and the headache finally left me yesterday. This really does get easier by the day.

Thanks to all who post here. I may have been "ghost" for a couple days, but I was here in spirit. Because of the posts, I was able to put my mind at ease and redirect myself, learn to just tell my AV "NO"!!!

One day at a time.

comtnman740

Hey there fellow 8'er! I'm on day 8 myself and I definitely agree the first weekend was pretty tough. I tried to keep myself busy and roll with some changes. I don't know how you managed to deal with someone drinking right there in front of you. That definitely took some strength on your part!

My father is an alcoholic and got a call from him on Saturday night. That wasn't pleasant and I'm going to make myself scarce during the evening time unless of course it's something important.

So going ok although I know I have to take it one day at a time. I really feel like going to meetings do help and someday's I actually look forward to them because they seem to provide me some lift. Last night was the first night I actually slept fairly decent. Woke up a few times but never compared to when I was drinking. I woke up every hour.

Anyway glad to hear things are going well for you #8 and Stay Strong!

Garrison

toddle118

Hi Chaos, well done on day 8!!!

Wow it must have been a tough weekend, I couldnt stand it when my bf got tipsy at the weekend, I had to go in the other room and read...so annoyed, and possibly jealous that I couldnt have one. You stuck to your guns, excellent ...glad you posted and still read the boards x

chaos34

[QUOTE=comtnman740;4536166] I don't know how you managed to deal with someone drinking right there in front of you. That definitely took some strength on your part!
/QUOTE]

Thanks Garrison and CONGRATULATIONS on Day 8!!!

Honestly it was God. I prayed and cried in my bedroom and cried/raged and stayed away from him as much as I could. Plus he's a beer guy, I was once a cognac kinda gal. Good luck with your father. If anything, being sober and trying to listen to an alcoholic talk is becoming funny. I wonder if I used to sound like that? Slurring wods and losing train of thought easily.

chaos34

This was exactly how I felt! Annoyed is how I'm feeling most days now. I hope that this passes soon. I don't like being the grumpy one of the bunch.

Sulu1

Congratulations!

That is a huge achievement, I bet that took enormous strength with him drinking right in front of you. I'm not sure id be able to do that.

Keep it up you're doing awesome, well done on 8 days

SoulKat

Congrats! You sound like you're doing good. I just finished my first week. Yay for both of us!

shockozulu

Congrats to both of you for completing a whole week of sobriety...one day at a time :-)

Aarryckha

There's the sparkly kitty!

Congrats on making it to day 8 in spite of what was going on around you this weekend. I'm so proud of you for making it through. It couldn't have been easy at all.

Give your body a chance to heal. None of us were very nice to our bodies by dumping all that poison into it. Be gentle and forgiving of yourself. You've come a long way in 8 days!

Glad to see you!

Thepatman

Great job!! Nothing to envy. You are facing life's difficulties without liquid courage ;-)

Holli

That took a lot of strength, good job!

chaos34

Aarry, just like you remember my kitty, I look for you. Last weekend was NOT easy and I'm already making plans to NOT be home this weekend if need be. Your posts get me through the rough patches. Though we are both newbies, you are open and very active on the threads. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us

Aarryckha

Awww, thank you! I'm glad to help!

I'm glad to hear you're already planning for your weekend to avoid any further issues. I struggle with the weekends too. I was a drunk hot mess on the weekends.

I'm glad you're here with me! /hugs

tornrealization

Yep I know how that goes with the significant other still drinking. A hurdle I'm seeing in the treads many of us have to figure out.

Chaos if Thursday is day 4 aren't wouldn't that make today make day 9?

I'm just working my sobriety before I figure out the husband drinking. I don't want to be jealous, but I am.

Big difference is I black out and he doesn't.

I'm glad you made it through your first weekend sober. I just did I too! Congrats!

chaos34

Torn,

I'm pretty sure that I'm day 8. 9 would be nice but that's tomorrow. You had me over here scratching my head about the numbers/days. I don't recall saying Thursday was day 4.

My AH is the one who blacksout and does all of the crazy stuff (peeing outside, falling down, spontaneous crying etc.) My down card is that I can drink a fifth by myself and still walk and hold conversation. I've blacked out twice and both times there was Jagermeister involved.

I'm happy we both made it through the weekend! It was tough especially when it was normally the time I would drink myself stupid till Monday. Feels good not having done that

tornrealization

Chaos, it's ultimately not about the days, I know. I think it was this line that got me confused. I'm glad you are sober TODAY!

I am sorry that your AH does that. I can't relate to that degree. I can say my AH pretty much in control. However booze has to be a part of vacations, weekends, holidays and such. So I decided to worry about myself first and see how things go.

I hope I didn't offend you in any way.

chaos34

Torn,
Did I mention that I'm a dork sometimes? No offense taken. I seriously was over here taking my brain till figure out if I lost a day somewhere or if I were going a bit crazy. I didn't even notice the typo above

I haven't even gotten far enough to think about holidays and such.