Researching outpatient rehab programs
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Researching outpatient rehab programs
I've called several sliding scale programs in my area. I can go for a walk-in consultation at one next Tuesday or Wednesday morning, so I'll be doing that. I was just approved for Medicaid, but I also just got a job so I don't know if that will hinder me. :/ I hate that I am trying to be a productive member of society, but if I do, I'll lose the help I need. I'm making minimum wage, not full time, but somehow I worry that I'll be making "enough" money to have me lose those benefits.
But at least it's a sliding scale program, and I'm willing to pay whatever I can as long as they can help me stop. I've tried several times before to quit drinking, but they were never *serious*, they were more of a show for friends and family. I really think I need outside help.
What scares me most, is just thinking about never drinking again makes me so uncomfortable I want to go buy a bottle immediately, as if my brain is saying "Quick! Drink a lot before you have to go sober!" which is just ridiculous, but it's how I feel. I don't even like how I feel when I drink most of the time, but I convince myself that I do. There's something pretty wrong with me. It probably isn't helping matters that both parents were drug addicts and alcoholics - my father died from drugs when he was barely 40. I obviously have a predisposition, and I need to cut it off. I am just scared that if I REALLY try, I'll fail. And if that happens, I will be devastated and humiliated.
But at least it's a sliding scale program, and I'm willing to pay whatever I can as long as they can help me stop. I've tried several times before to quit drinking, but they were never *serious*, they were more of a show for friends and family. I really think I need outside help.
What scares me most, is just thinking about never drinking again makes me so uncomfortable I want to go buy a bottle immediately, as if my brain is saying "Quick! Drink a lot before you have to go sober!" which is just ridiculous, but it's how I feel. I don't even like how I feel when I drink most of the time, but I convince myself that I do. There's something pretty wrong with me. It probably isn't helping matters that both parents were drug addicts and alcoholics - my father died from drugs when he was barely 40. I obviously have a predisposition, and I need to cut it off. I am just scared that if I REALLY try, I'll fail. And if that happens, I will be devastated and humiliated.
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