Summerhaze1

Hi!
I'm brand new to the group and looking for advise. I am 32 days sober and find myself feeling very depressed and angry. I can't seem to shake the immense irritation I feel when I think about never having another drink.

I keep trying to convince myself that after a while I'll be able to drink again and control it. However I know this is complete BS!

Still having trouble saying I'm an alcoholic.

yumi

I'm new here, too.

I don't know how else I think I can describe the feeling, as I have gone thru it as well.

I think it is possibly part of a natural grieving process that naturally comes in stages, with the final stage being acceptance?

I know what you mean by saying how hard it is to admit to yourself you are an alcoholic. Its tough to look in the mirror and say that to yourself. But, I do think it is essential to the healing process.

I think it is absolutely OK to allow yourself to grieve. You are in the angry stage now. Work thru it and embrace it and I promise you, one day you will find yourself entering a new phase....and thus in turn finally to the acceptance phase that will truly lend a hand towards true healing and recovery.

I hope that makes sense. Hang in there. You and your life are worth it .

diffingo911

Hey, Summerhaze1 - Many People have this trouble when thinking of NEVER having a Drink again...That's why it is much Easier to swallow a "One day at a time" philosophy
Tomorrow's a New Day...

StraightAhead

You might try reading "How to Stop Drinking the Easy Way" by Allen Carr. He explains pretty thoroughly what a useless poison alcohol is, and why we should run away from it as fast as we can. If you were able to develop that kind of mindset towards alcohol, I don't think you would be missing it so much.

Dee74

Hi and welcome summerhaze

I think anger is pretty common for most of us - a lot of us have suppressed our emotions for a long time with drink or drugs, and once we stop doing that, the dam breaks....

A lot of us also have trouble accepting our problem - it's not fair and a lot of us resent the hell of the fact that we're not like other people.

Support really helps there,. We know and understand how you feel.

Glad to have you join us,

D

RetiredJunkie

from what I know 1 is not enough and 1000's to many, try to keep busy. best wishes to all !!!

SeaScape

Hi

I am working through alot of anger right now- actually sometimes it just works me
It isn't b.c I can't drink though - it's other stuff and I have an inability to let things go so I stew over them. I came home from yoga the other day angry - I thought - HOW is that possible. It passed but it took about an hour...I just tried to let it go over and over again!

Stay strong

1newcreation

I haven't quit drinking! Might even celebrate belated St Patty's this wknd but TODAY, I'm ok & think will go to bed & wake up happy

KateL

Well done on 32 days. Things will get better the more time you have under your belt xxx

Summerhaze1

I do try and focus on the day at hand and getting through it sober but am constantly reminded that I can no longer drink by friends/co-workers talking about drinking, seeing commercials about alcohol or even hearing songs on the radio about drinking. Seems I can't escape it.

Zeno

Angry, anxious, depressed: I felt those things almost every day of my life, but for twenty years or so, alcohol guaranteed me a few hours of oblivion. Then, it was gone, not because I wanted it gone, but because the choice was losing whatever little I had left, including my life. That made me even more angry, anxious and depressed, and being sober meant I had to deal with all these feelings. The Steps helped, and friends in recovery helped even more. Its been a fair while since I had my last drink, but I still feel angry, anxious and depressed sometimes--just, I guess, like every other human being. The thing is, lots of unexpected gifts showed up in my sober life--the most important of them, good feelings I'd never experienced in my drinking life. I don't want oblivion, because I'll lose those good feelings, too. Hang in there. It gets better. I never believed people who used to tell me that, but it really does.

Mountainmanbob

for some who are truly drunks that may be a problem

MM

Notmyrealname

Rome's not built in a day. Brain chemistry takes awhile to normalize in recovery.

There are ways to deal with anger. Stop. Take a deep breath. Count backwards from ten. Smile. I always try to remember what Kant said about not using other people as a means to an end, for they are themselves their own ends. That means I don't use people as emotional punching bags -- I don't vent on people, making their lives miserable to indulge my own desire to let off some steam.

Therapy is always an option to consider if it is a problem that you are having significant difficulty keeping in check.

least

I too would suggest counseling for issues with anger. If you still find yourself feeling this way in a few months, consider getting counseling for it.

EJ43

Summer haze, I feel ya!!! I am exactly 32 days too! Just barely starting to feel better physically and I knew this would be my danger point. Don't want to admit anything either bc then it would be real! Can't remotely imagine saying goodbye to my wine and vodka even though I can see sooooo many positives on this side. I am living in a mental vacuum, but holding on because there has been so many days of feeling so horrible from withdrawals, I can't imagine startin over. I also don't want to feel the crushing self disappointment and see the disappointment of my husband. I am seeing an old therapist on Tuesday, spoke to him
On the phone and he is no ******** in this matter. I have a feeling that will be my personal reckoning day....will hold on to my days until then. But I do understand everything you said.....

ru12

I think it is ok to feel a bit angry... It's not like you asked to be an alcoholic. I'd feel angry too if I had cancer. It does matter what we do about the anger though.

I've been sober a few 24's now and I'm no longer angry I cannot drink safely. As I'm not angry that I'm not 6'5" tall and handsome. It's just the cards I've been dealt. Know one thing though, in a way I'm lucky I can't drink. I have more money, no hangovers, less guilt, I don't embarrass myself and loved ones, I can drive my car anywhere at anytime and not put people at risk. I gave up such a small thing for so many gifts.

IOAA2

Even when I first went to the program some time ago these feelings were common. It was suggested by some to just say EACH day "I'll drink tomorrow." That doesn't make it feel so overwhelming to many.

BE WELL

GreenEggsAndHam

I think it's normal. I'm in IOP and AA but the mood swings in early sobriety are crazy. One day I'm euphoric, the next irritable and pissed at everything and every one. Just riding it out with faith that it won't always be this way.

Summerhaze1

Ej43-I too keep thinking of the look of disappointment on my husband's face if I were to pick up a drink again. That image has definitely helped me stay sober. Good luck with your therapist and congrats on 32 days!!!

EJ43

Summer, looks like we are on a similar road....... Hang in sista! Let's go for another day!