not2late

I keep coming back..reading all the posts and so many I can relate to. I had a good 3 months going but have been struggling for the past few months. The weekends that start with beer and end with shots. I see old habits coming back. The sneaking and lying. The hidden mini bottles. The acid reflux and headaches. I stop by the Abc store after work for 3 to 5 mini bottles and drink them all within 30 minutes. I don't keep anything at home. I dont drink at work but i sneak to the Abc store while on a grocery run.

I'm pitiful and a lier and i hate myself. Dare I say tomorrow is day one yet again?

I will come here at my trigger time..I know you will help me. I have got to do this. Thanks for reading. I'm sorry for being a broken record.

Lily123

Glad you are here! Thanks for posting

Aarryckha

I'm sorry you're struggling but I'm glad you're back

Take it day by day or hour by hour if need be. Can you get to the grocery store without driving past the ABC store? Go out of your way to avoid that store. Might be a good place to start.

alphaomega

Great plan Peaches. We are here to help you. Good for you for starting again,

not2late

I will try to go to the grocery on Sunday when the Abc isn't open. As for the stopping after work I must not go that way home but I find myself anxious to get there after a stressful day.
Its silly I know. I guess the AV is really powerful.
Now this may sound really strange but sometimes I feel like it is the one thing that is MINE. I have a husband a daughter a granddaughter a job...and I feel like its all about them. Nothing is just mine. And I don't have time for much of anything else. Crazy. I just need to read a book or something

Aarryckha

Look at it this way. This IS for you. You get to be healthier, happier, able to enjoy the life you're living and the things around you. Your family gets to enjoy the benefit of having a sober Peaches in their lives.

not2late

Thanks...I know that is so true. I need to take ownership of sobriety and not feel like it is being forced on me.

Dee74

Welcome back Peaches

I think you have a start of a good plan there - you'll really find you get back from your recovery what you put into it, I think

D

Ruby2

Yes, come back peaches. I know how you feel about owning the alcohol as yours because everything else seems to be for everyone else. I have two young children, a full time job and a husband that works crazy hours. I am the one who gets the kids up and out the door in the morning after fighting them into their clothes. Making their lunches and I am the one who puts them to bed at night while trying to keep them quiet so my husband can sleep. It is exhausting. You are probably exhausted. But sobriety is for you and you can own that.

It takes time. You can do it. If you feel you have to force it sometimes, you just may have to for the ultimate rewards. I have four months and to tell the truth, while I feel physically better, mentally I am very tired. But I had one day. One really brief period of time I cling to where sobriety felt like a gift and not a burden. Out of four months. It was the promise of a new beginning so even though the four months was good, I know that it can be great. There is nothing wrong with you. Hang in there. You can do it. And take a bubble bath with a good book and the door closed.

KateL

You can do it Peaches xxxx

tramadolnights

I feel like a broken record too. Don't know how to stop.