bradley26

Its been a rubbish weekend for me but one that has refocused my mind on what I need in life. Something that is constantly bothering me is not having anyone to talk to. I have No friends if im being honest and the last 4 years have been quite lonely. Does anyone have any advice with how I can make some friends or should I just be happy with my own company? Im interested to hear If anyone else is in the same situation as me.

Elisabeth888

Have you ever been to an AA meeting?

Thepatman

Me. I have only drunk friends. Actually not my friends much anymore.

But I joined an outpatient support program with group working sessions. I'm sure I'll make some new sober friends there. If not then AA is appealing also!

There are also SMART recovery groups, never tried it but considering going to check it out.

Things is, if your don't reach out you will isolate yourself. For some ok, but for most a direct path to jumping in the wine barrel.

toddle118

When I lost my job I lost most of my friends. I suppose I drove them away as they would come and see me and I was always drunk. I get lonely often, it is hard and I feel for you. I have a bf but only see him half the week, the rest Im alone. Do you work? I agree AA would be a good start, Im not into AA but it seems to have helped many people on here, do you have any hobbies? How do you fill your time now youre not drinking?

Goldcoastgirl

Until you feel you are in the right headspace to physically go out and be social, please keep posting on here. I have made "real" friends here who can relate absolutely to what I am going through. There is always someone here to talk to at any time of day and night.

When you are really feeling up to it try and find an group that has an interests that attracts you, hobby wise, job wise, music - anything that strikes a chord with you.

bradley26

I went to AA about 18 months ago and didn't go back so never got the chance to establish any friendships. I basically have isolated myself and it was really depressing the moment I realised I had no friends just drinking friends. Maybe if I had a gf I wouldn't be as lonelyi don't no.

bradley26

My hobbies are exercise and reading and playstation . I havnt been working recently so that also has me feeling like im worthless and I have lost a lot of confidence. . Im a

2muchpain

Yeah, I can relate to that. I too have no family or friends to talk to. It gets to me sometimes, but I try not to let it get to me, but it's tough. I try to keep as busy as I can, and not sit around my apartment for long. That usually leads me back to the liquor store. I work part-time, go to AA meetings and the gym around 5 times a week. You should try AA if you haven't done so. I was never able to make any friends there, but meetings are very different, depending on where you live. Many people on this forum have said that they have been able to make friends there, and hang out with them. For me, just being out of my apartment and around other people helps. I am also on SR at least once a day, and that also helps. My phone still doesn't ring, but being out and around other people helps. I also joined an organization called "meetups", where people get together for different activities. I haven't gone to any yet, but plan on doing some in the future. Maybe you have something like that where you live. I hope my ideas will help you some. Good luck.

toddle118

I think many of us have felt lonely, and do feel lonely...alcoholism is a lonely disease really, when we're drinking we are lonely as we are continuously looking inwards, when we stop we realise there isnt much outwards left, if that makes sense. Post on here, they are kind caring people...there is a new life out there when you feel ready

bradley26

Thank you toddle for youre advice and yes this place Is very helpful, which I have appreciated more recently as I don't normally come here a lot.
2 muchpain I feel that if I have structure to my days then its not so bad to get through the days. And as for phones not ringing , when my phone rings its quite said as I know its either my mum or my dad lol. Never mind all good things come to those who wait, so hopefully my next best friend is out there somewhere

aasharon90

Finding bikers in recovery and taking trips
with them is a fun interest and you will
always have support on ur side.

Maybe golf would be another good
interest.

least

I'd suggest going to some AA meetings. Get to know the people. Exchange phone numbers. Join in the meeting/group's activities. The only way you're going to make friends is by putting yourself out there where people are around you.

courage2

I'm with Least on getting to some support groups for people in recovery -- I don't know what your drug of choice is but there must be lots of AA and NA and alternative kinds of groups in London.

I had no friends when I quit. Now I have a real friend who I met through AA, and a lot of people who I can call to spend time with. A lot of people go primarily for what they call the fellowship. There's a lot of really good stuff among members that happens outside the meetings.

bradley26

I must say I have been thinking about going to a meeting I just live in the sticks so its a bit of a mission to get there. I think I will just have to try to get there no matter what .

kittygirl

Hi. I'm new here, and also in need of friends recovering :/

bradley26

Hi kittygirl great to meet you, this is the best place for support, welcome, im Bradley ;-)

2muchpain

Bradley26

I might have some good news for you! The social organization I mentioned in my last post is also available where you live. It's called "meetups". Maybe you should go on-line and check it out. You said that you kinda live in the sticks, so maybe this won't work for you, but no harm in looking into it.

bradley26

I will just have a butchers now 2muchpain, thank you !

MythOfSisyphus

Well, you have us! It's hard to really answer your question, Bradley. There are lots of people in my life that would name me as a friend but few that I would call friends. That might sound weird but it's that I set the bar pretty high on the use of the term. Plus I have a strong asocial streak to begin with.

First off, you gotta get off the couch! Gaming is a good hobby, as is reading. But they can both be solitary pursuits. Maybe you can find a club or group devoted to something you like? Even things like running, working out at a gym, etc are ways to bond with people. Do you have dog? Dogs are chick magnets, man! Take a cute pup for a walk and you'll meet people.

It's really tough to be out of work. I feel for you! Once I was unemployed for about 7 months, and by the end it was taking a toll on me. In the short term volunteering might help your self esteem and get out in the world again.

Bear in mind that attitude is the most important thing. Life is probably 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it. You know you've got character and inner strength. If you didn't you wouldn't be standing up to addiction! Remember that what you are is so much bigger than a job or your social group.

Lastly, you're not fighting addiction without friends! Hokey as it sounds, you have SR. Just knowing you folks are out there in the ether, on the other end of the wire, it helps make me strong in my sobriety. Sharing our stories and and our failures, triumphs and defeats, it really helps us focus on the path. At least it does for me.

Be the person you'd want as a friend, Bradley26. That's a great place to start. And, um, get out of the house more!ring


Good to have you with us, Kittygirl! You've found a great place in SR, and a lot of people to help you up.

Aarryckha

I'm with you, Bradley.

I lost almost all my friends due to my drinking. It's been lonely. I've not gotten out much but I didn't trust myself with the poison.

I find a lot of support here and I find comfort in my cats. It's working for today and I'm gaining knowledge to handle things for tomorrow.