what will it take
 

oh god i just can't get it together, I have to surrender but don't know how...

One second at a time if you have to 1000....

Amen.

Hi 1000neverenuf :)

If we keep drinking, I think we have to face the fact that we haven't been doing enough for our recovery.

What kinds of things have you been doing?

D

stop worrying about "how" and focus on just surrendering.

A good way to start is to say it... out loud....

"I Surrender"

Say it every day. Say it 1,000 times a day if you must.

Then follow that with action - are you working a program?

:ring

thank you for posting. I just want to win for one day, to not give in to the instinct to use

Surrendering my freedom to that bottle was always easy enough.

Surrendering my false belief that I needed booze to feel OK also turned out to be easy once I gave it an honest try.

Best of Luck on Your Journey :ring

I hope with our support you can get sober for good. :)

Surrendering my freedom to that bottle was always easy enough.

Surrendering my false belief that I needed booze to feel OK also turned out to be easy once I gave it an honest try.

- that is so true, I must wrap around it

re quoted your message, it's really helpful

What nonsensical said makes perfect sense to me! Absolutely needing alcohol to survive is a contrived fallacy. A big fat lie that I told myself over and over until I did believe it. All we really need is food, shelter and water - without the fermented stuff mixed in with the water. See the lies for what they are and you are getting to surrender.

If you have food, shelter and water you feel a sense of pleasure. If you don't have food, shelter and water you feel anxiety and a compulsion to find those things. (Add breathing, sleep, and sex to that list.)

When you become addicted to a substance such as alcohol the EXACT SAME part of your brain responds to alcohol the same way it responds to food, water, shelter, sex, sleeping, and breathing - pleasure if you have it, anxiety and compulsion to acquire if you don't. Alcohol seeking becomes instinctive, and we feel like we have 2 minds; 1 that can't stop thinking about alcohol and 1 that knows alcohol is ruining us.

You can't 'turn off' that desire for alcohol, any more than you can 'turn off' a desire to breathe, eat, or sleep. BUT YOU CAN OVERRIDE IT.

Override it for long enough, and it will fade.

how does one "override" the desire?

I used quite a lot of diversion techniques, including going where the alcohol wasn't. Quite often, I would walk out the door and to the top of the street (about half a mile); if I arrived back home and still wanted a drink, I walked to the top of the street again. Sometimes I went for a drive with only my license - no money or credit cards with which to buy alcohol and I drove as far and for as long as I could. Sometimes I went to bed and prayed for sleep. I hung out with non-drinkers.

After a while the cravings subsided to a more manageable level.

And did I ever indulge in sweets!

Hi SoberLeigh!

These are great suggestions. I've thought about leaving my I.D. home (when husband drives) but I'm at that age where I'm not carded so much anymore lol. Love the idea of not bringing extra money when out.

Changing daily routines and patterns helped me a lot in the early days. Basically do whatever it takes for you to get through the day sober. Know for sure that you can do it.

I'm not sure I understand the question.

My boss is an annoying dork, and I feel like keying his car. But I don't.

The new employee is a hottie and I feel like suggesting 15 minutes of naughtiness in the broom closet. But I don't.

I feel like having a drink. But I don't.

I have a rational thought processor in my head, and I use it.

I guess my rational processor is busted. I have no filter. I'm still driven by my desires far more than I should be, and yes I say things I shouldn't and do things I shouldn't. What some people have told me is that I have to learn the difference between pleasure (wanting it RIGHT NOW) and joy (self esteem that grows when pleasure is denied).

your rational processor isn't broken... it's in overdrive.

it's a trick our addiction can play; keep your mind so tied up in focusing on the vexing question of HOW.... HOW HOW HOW!!!???? That we are easily duped into believing it's hopeless.

Try letting GO of your 'rational' processor and simply accepting....

"I am powerless over alcohol, please help me"

"I don't want to drink today, this hour, this moment.... right now... please help me"

Try not fighting it, but instead.... giving in. Not giving in to the voice that says "Drink. You can't stop."

But giving in to the mental puzzle of trying to constantly "figure it out".

Ignore your head for a while... start going with your soul.

YOU CAN DO IT