sigint

Caved after 3 weeks. It was bad. If there were no such thing as 'the weekend', maybe I would've lasted longer- it seems my AV got the best of me in the blinding weekend haze. My though process was something like 'just one more weekend, I can recover by Monday.' Gross.

I know that, (assuming I stay sober), 3 weeks from now I'll feel just as good as I did right before I caved. So what's to prevent the same thing from happening again? Its a scary thought. What is discouraging for me, is how I fought hard for 3 weeks and just gave it up like that. Its like, not having work this weekend + no other obligations + nothing to do = AV wins.

Its just extremely frustrating. I know if I can make it 3 weeks, I can keep going. But screwing up this weekend just makes me so angry with myself on top of the hangover burden. Sorry for the rant. Its been a long day 1.

Dee74

Do something different

Three weeks is great - but look at what you were doing for your recovery.

You need to accept it wasn't enough.

Think of ways you could improve it.

Do you need support?

Were you fully utilising the support you had?

do you need to make more changes to your lifestyle?

If weekends are a problem for you...maybe it's good to map out some weekends that don't involve alcohol for a while?

The more you put into your recovery, the more you'll get out of it siginit

D

PaulinaPolitely

I like the perspective of the people who have kicked this for a long time.

The immediate time is kind of a test period, and hopefully, it is a bit of fits and starts, and then it sticks. I personally believe people beat themselves up too much for slipping. Isn't slipping a part of getting upright?

We're all learning.

I know I've been going through that. A bit of laziness maybe, going back to what was, and then feeling the need for re-training the brain. Realizing that this road never leads to a happy place.

sigint

Definitely. I'm really going to sit down and plan this out. Before, it was just about seeing if I could make it another day, another week. But now I realize I need to put more effort.

Sigh... I'm not someone who is good at seeking help or admitting its needed. My family knows I had some problems in the past, but thinks I've been on stable ground for the past 2 years. Don't have any friends in this city that are close enough to find support with. I've thought about seeking counseling services, for this and for social anxiety many times but am too scared to go.

I suppose I could have posted more :0

I should start running again. That always helps.

Thanks Dee, your words are helpful and appreciated. Instead of just trying to stay sober, I'm expanding this effort to improve my overall well-being and happiness- sobriety being a necessary condition, but not sufficient.

Dee74

Sounds good - and yeah learn to reach out when you need it.
I found that hard too, but I learned, and I think I've grown from the experience

D

sigint

People tell me I'm too hard on myself about a lot of things. Maybe this is such an instance, but the way I look at it, if I don't give myself a thorough beating (not physical- not harming myself here), I don't learn. The point at which I beat myself up too much is when it gets in the way of moving forward.

YES. Need to start thinking about finding that happy place. There are lots of sober places, but not all are happy places.

Looking4Help123

Hi Sigint,

I'll be rooting for you come 3 weeks time. Setup a plan that revolves around several key things such as what Dee has recommended. It sounds like you just chose work to "mask" your desires for more alcohol. As you know you're gonna have to challenge those desires at some point. If you spend the next 3 weeks getting ready I'm sure you'll be better at it!

All the best

FreeOwl

Dee is right...

and yes, START RUNNING AGAIN!!! It helps on so many levels....

and also - ACTIVE SOBRIETY>>>>>> what are you doing, besides just 'not drinking'.

That's the crucial bit...

You can do it!

Nonsensical

Only if wrecking is part of learning to drive a car. It happens, but it's a sign you've been downright, not part of getting upright.

least

Do something different for your recovery. Then put all your effort into it because your life depends on it. You can do this!

LadyBlue0527

First, don't beat yourself up, you're doing hard work. You still want this right? That's the important thing.

My weekends were the worst because that's when I drank. I had to plan something for every weekend that held me accountable to people and didn't involve alcohol. Every Friday night the movie that we were going to was decided upon earlier in the week. No dinner out ahead of time so no location that had alcohol. Saturday night was an AA meeting or I met up with my sponsor.

Plan things ahead of time where there can't be any alcohol use. It helps to remove the choice.

You CAN do this!

Ruby2

I did what LadyBlue did. Plan, plan, plan weekends in advance. For me Friday nights were crucial. As long as I made it through a Friday night I was much more likely to stay sober through the weekend. If not, I would have that thought that I had two more days to get sober. I go to a Friday night AA meeting. It is a beginners meeting. I don't have to talk at all if I choose not to. Many meetings on Friday are like sober happy hour and seem to be a bit more festive.

Try different things. Don't put all your eggs in one basket and plan for contingencies. Running or any exercise is great but plan for that. What if the weather doesn't cooperate? A few people on here slipped when they couldn't get in their exercise and it was there only method. Learn from their experience.

Social anxiety is a tough one but it can be conquered. I was at a meeting yesterday when someone flat out said that they had anxiety after they introduced themselves. That took a lot of courage but I will bet you can do it too.

Hang in there and don't get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. These seem to be big triggers for most people. Any tool in the tool box to help.

Anna

No, not necessarily. And, it's not that slipping is 'bad', but, I found that, when I slipped, I lost more confidence each time and it became harder and harder to make my way through.

The main thing to do is to learn and change your plan. Three weeks was a hard time for me too. It was the farthest I had ever gotten, but crossing that line went into territory that meant 'forever' and that was scary psychologically.

dogged14

I'm at 3 weeks. The toughest part so far has been the past week. Over the first two weeks every day got easier but over the past week I've suddenly started getting major extremely rapid mood swings. It's like one minute I'm happy, the next I'm on the verge of breaking down crying.

What's helped me so far is that rather than spending my weekends lounging around, I've started working weekends like any other day. I also started working out again which has definitely helped me keep my mind in a good place.

sigint

Thank you all for your responses and support!

My takeaway from this is that I need to endeavor for more than just not drinking and that I need plan a, b, c, ..., especially for the weekends.

I like this sort of preemptive approach. Anything I can do to prevent the AV battle in the first place. Thanks LabyBlue!

Friday nights. I knew they would be the toughest going in, but now I see the necessity of planning and having backup plans. I agree, in the previous sober weekends, if I made it through Friday night, the rest of the weekend was much easier.
In my neck of the woods, weather isn't too much of an issue, but regardless I will make sure not let a foiled plan turn into a reason. Thanks Ruby2!