day 1/2
 

hi everyone, i'm back after being dormant for a few months.

i had been better about controlling my drinking so far this year (since 1/1). i had been able to go out and only have a few at a time and i rarely have booze in the house. everything was going great! until yesterday...

i went out for the city's st. patrick's day celebration. it was one of those days where i started at 3:00pm and just didn't stop. (that is why tomorrow will be my official day 1, since i had some drinks in the early hours of this morning.) i haven't had any since i woke up today but i feel really lousy. guilty that i drove home and mostly just frustrated. i feel like all of the progress i made the last couple months has gone out the window. the thing is, i KNEW i was going to get hammered yesterday and i didn't care. and i KNEW i would feel ****** about it today but i did it anyway... WHY?!?!

i like the idea of my sobriety date being on st. patrick's day. kind of poetic because i am 100% irish and the day has always been trouble in the past. even though i have already "celebrated," i am glad the holiday itself is on a monday, and i never drink during the work week.

i returned to SR to remind myself that problem drinkers cannot control their drinking. it's all or nothing when it comes to quitting. and whether you have a day, week, or month under your belt of "handling it" you can never predict when you will take it too far one day for know explainable reason.

thanks for reading

Welcome back workingonwishes :)

I think if you come away with an acceptance of your problem, and the sure and certain knowledge that moderation is not viable for drinkers like us, then this St Patrick's day was a very special one :)

D

Friend-

I had to work in a toxic atmosphere for several hours yesterday. Thus, I was literally surrounded by scores of people drinking, smoking, and drugging on God knows what.

At one time, we were giving out ice cold free beers! Coor's lights and Miller lite's. One of my good friends was there. He doesn't leave home without at least a jar of the finest weed I've ever smelled. He was (obviously) baked higher than a freaking cake. One of the nicest people I met yesterday was a meth head. He was having a swell time. I honestly could not have cared less. When someone offered to buy me a drink, I simply said, "I'm driving."....and I was. When the job was done, I drove straight home, where my family was waiting for me. All of us, stone cold sober.

Yes, I was in the same place. Yet, I am no longer of the same place. I felt completely detached. I'm almost nineteen months down the path of 100% sobriety and feeling stronger everyday. I say this to you so that you know that it is possible to be both sober, and have a good time on St. Patty's day.

There is no greater feeling than waking up, stone cold sober.

Be Encouraged! :)

I'm glad you made your way back here.

"it's all or nothing when it comes to quitting. and whether you have a day, week, or month under your belt of "handling it" you can never predict when you will take it too far one day for know explainable reason."

I think you need to keep this in the front of your memory. It will help you get through the tough days. And remember, it's one day at a time.