Mad, here it is, c come and get it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Mad, here it is, c come and get it
I am not going to kill myself, but I won't lie I think about it daily. I think about the release, I think about the release, you know, the feeling that no matter what you did nobody can effect you.
I won't do it, FCCCK these mofo's know that the anger grows, know that everyday, I am fighting the urges I am fighting the pain agony, the feeling like nothing matters. Know that I am fighting this and that now, more than ever, I have launched the jihad of sobriety against all things inebriated.
Reality is is there is not reality, reality is what we create for ourselves, as beings the reality makes us believe things that aren't real. Know that, I am sick of that shiat, the time is now! I don't know whats going to happen but know this mofo is going to lay his life, regardless of the outcome!
Just because I am addict, doesn't me I am failure, doesn't me I don't, doesn't mean that I don't care, doesn't mean that I can't control myself doesn't mean that I am lost.... Rather it means I need help, I need your support now more than ever..... Don't demean mean, because truth is I've been there and done that and you haven't.
I am mad, but don't ever demean my friends or me because I am addict, don't condescend, and if that your intention go fly a kite, I love these folks and they love me and we're a family. Nobody that hasn't been addict can talk!
I won't do it, FCCCK these mofo's know that the anger grows, know that everyday, I am fighting the urges I am fighting the pain agony, the feeling like nothing matters. Know that I am fighting this and that now, more than ever, I have launched the jihad of sobriety against all things inebriated.
Reality is is there is not reality, reality is what we create for ourselves, as beings the reality makes us believe things that aren't real. Know that, I am sick of that shiat, the time is now! I don't know whats going to happen but know this mofo is going to lay his life, regardless of the outcome!
Just because I am addict, doesn't me I am failure, doesn't me I don't, doesn't mean that I don't care, doesn't mean that I can't control myself doesn't mean that I am lost.... Rather it means I need help, I need your support now more than ever..... Don't demean mean, because truth is I've been there and done that and you haven't.
I am mad, but don't ever demean my friends or me because I am addict, don't condescend, and if that your intention go fly a kite, I love these folks and they love me and we're a family. Nobody that hasn't been addict can talk!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
I don't think anyones demeaned you here.
Like I said to you before I don't think your family's trying to demean you either.
I remember the jibbering madness - I didn't want to live my life but I was scared to give it up...who knew what sobriety would be like?
I often call deciding to get sober a leap of faith...but really - you can look around here and read and get a pretty good idea that people can be sober and happy. It's not that much a risk
Anytime you want to give it a try, anytime you want support, we'll be here for you, man
And do keep this link near - read it...keep it somewhere for the helpline numbers.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
I hope you never have to use it, but at least you know it's there.
Take it easy man - get some rest, ease up on yourself.
Maybe it's time to give it up, stop fighting, and give recovery a go?
D
Like I said to you before I don't think your family's trying to demean you either.
I remember the jibbering madness - I didn't want to live my life but I was scared to give it up...who knew what sobriety would be like?
I often call deciding to get sober a leap of faith...but really - you can look around here and read and get a pretty good idea that people can be sober and happy. It's not that much a risk
Anytime you want to give it a try, anytime you want support, we'll be here for you, man
And do keep this link near - read it...keep it somewhere for the helpline numbers.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
I hope you never have to use it, but at least you know it's there.
Take it easy man - get some rest, ease up on yourself.
Maybe it's time to give it up, stop fighting, and give recovery a go?
D
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
When it came down to it, I couldn't kill myself during my relapse because I'd already hurt the people I cared about much too much while I was living. It may have been the last shred of decency I had, and it may also have been enough for me to eventually turn things around.
Saying "yes" to life was a commitment for me to say "yes" to a good life.
Saying "yes" to life was a commitment for me to say "yes" to a good life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Deliveryguy:
Anger! And why not! We can hear that, respect that, because we've been there. We've felt the world closing in on us. We've been angry at all the folks who couldn't understand, who condescended, who thought we were weak, who felt that they were better than we were. And we were right to be angry. It' comes with the territory.
You say you love other addicts, that they are a family to you. And you say you need help. These other addicts will help you if you find some who are willing to try for sobriety. I remember once when I was in a rehab and thought of leaving and a fellow came up to me and said, "I thought of that too but I'm staying and I hope you stay too. We're going to do this together." I stayed and we did it together. And I've been sober for over 25 years. I'm not angry any more. Thankful that there were others who cared, who would help.
You'll find lots of them on this website. You'll find them at AA meetings. There may be things about AA that you don't like, don't agree with. O.K. go with the stuff that works. The things that help. Don't get hung up on stuff that's not working for you. Find some folks like you and do it together. Good luck.
W.
Anger! And why not! We can hear that, respect that, because we've been there. We've felt the world closing in on us. We've been angry at all the folks who couldn't understand, who condescended, who thought we were weak, who felt that they were better than we were. And we were right to be angry. It' comes with the territory.
You say you love other addicts, that they are a family to you. And you say you need help. These other addicts will help you if you find some who are willing to try for sobriety. I remember once when I was in a rehab and thought of leaving and a fellow came up to me and said, "I thought of that too but I'm staying and I hope you stay too. We're going to do this together." I stayed and we did it together. And I've been sober for over 25 years. I'm not angry any more. Thankful that there were others who cared, who would help.
You'll find lots of them on this website. You'll find them at AA meetings. There may be things about AA that you don't like, don't agree with. O.K. go with the stuff that works. The things that help. Don't get hung up on stuff that's not working for you. Find some folks like you and do it together. Good luck.
W.
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