sixstring

I turn 21 in one month. My drinking is starting to mess with my life again after numerous attempts to moderate and 10 weeks sober (longest in years). I started drinking during spring break last week with some friends and haven't stopped since. I had 29 beers and a couple shots yesterday by myself. Sometimes the only reason I don't drink is because the store attendant won't serve me because of ID. All of my friends/band mates/acquaintances drink heavily - one of my friends already has an ulcer at 22. My father died of alcoholism and one of my coworkers today told me I shouldn't keep tempting fate. Ultimately it's up to me but this addiction business (not just with alcohol) is the only thing in my life that I can't seem to conquer logically.

I want to stop drinking tomorrow and hopefully I can make that the reality. This site has really helped me in the past and I'm grateful for the fact that it exists. Thanks for reading :)

Dee74

Hey six string

yeah addictions not logical. We know it's bad for us, we know how destructive it is, and yet...we find it really hard to break the cycle.

What's your support like? If you're surrounded by drinkers I think sober support is vital.

You may need to make a few changes to your life too - changes about what you do in your spare time, and who you do it with?

D

sixstring

The problem with addiction is that people just fall into it... I see a counselor once every week and it does help. There's just a part of me that says f*** it and the urge to abuse is completely overwhelming at times. It's literally stronger than love for another person. I don't have much spare time, with classes, the band, frat, job and weightlifting. My spare time consists of me drinking and writing music. I just know that my body won't be able to take this for much longer. I've tried AA and it is very inspiring - my schedule really doesn't allow for meetings though. I just keep digging this hole and I need to stop before it gets too deep.

Dee74

Let me be the ghost of Christmas Future for ya 21.

I didn't make time to deal with my addiction problems...I just kinda hoped I'd grow out of it.

By 40 I was an all day everyday drinker - I'd lost two careers, including my musical one, and my addiction had destroyed my marriage - twice.

My health was shot, and I had nothing - no money, no family, no kids, no support.

I think you need to make time for your recovery - if you don't, addiction will swallow you whole....

and all these things you're putting in front of your recovery now? you're risking losing them anyway.

Be smarter than I was sixstring - the earlier you deal with this demon the easier the fight will be.

D

sixstring

Thanks for the reply D, it means a lot.

sixstring

Just poured a leftover bottle of malt liquor down the drain. Day 1.

Dee74

you can build from here Sixstring

D

tootsl1

Hey sixstring, I hope you managed to stay sober today, reading your fist post, it seems like the only friends/aquaintances you have are drinkers. It is impossible to stop drinking or change your attitude to drink while still hanging out with the. What did you do the 10 weeks you did manage to stay sober?

Like Dee it took me wasted decades to confront my self destructive drinking, you can have such a wonderful life if you change direction now.

sixstring

I do not really have a single sober friend. My ten weeks sober was very difficult because I still went to parties and shows with my people, I just told them that the bottle of water I had was vodka. Anytime I had an urge I just went running for a few miles. The anxiety and panic associated with heavy alcohol and drug abuse is coming back and I feel like the high just isn't worth it.

PaulinaPolitely

Dee, so well said. Thank you.

Dee74

I didn't have a sober friend either sixstring - but I made new ones and reconnected with old ones I had before my drinking made us drift away.

I had to start from scratch. My old life was all about getting high or drunk.

If I can start my life over at 40 you can do it at 21 man

D

least

You're young enough to turn your life around now before things get worse - and they will get worse. I hope the support here can help you stop drinking for good.

sixstring

Hey, just here with an update. I continued drinking vodka all day every day and eventually most of my commitments fell by the wayside. I woke up one day and decided enough was enough and checked myself into a rehab that still let me continue my education. I'm currently 68 days sober, out of rehab. I'm going to meetings every day, have a sponsor and I am feeling the happiest I have felt in years. I've made friends at the halfway and am overjoyed at my position in life, which is the opposite feeling just a little over two months ago. It was my first rehab and introduction to AA. I'm glad I took the advice from this forum.

jryan19982

That's awesome man! Great job! Keep rocking the six string!

VikingGF

Congrats on your commitment and actions, sixstring.

68 days is great!

Lisa.

anattaboy

Wow! Congrats on 68 days!

bradley26

Get out while u can my friend, dont waste years with this evil thats alcohol. the longer u leave it the worst it will get. Good luck