12mancan

Day 1... again.

I believe I learned something though.. the last few weeks of sobriety, I was so stressed out about not drinking, I'd put all my focus on it.. and slowly that's all there was for me, not drinking... that led me to dwell on all the things I missed about drinking... which in hindsight made it only a matter of time.

Trying to stay positive this time and focus less on simply not drinking and more on what I'm doing because I'm not drinking... I'll try not to tell myself "man, I don't get to drink today" and instead "I get to play with my daughter" or "it's going to be a fun evening, sure am looking forward to the nice dinner we have planned" There are so many positives about being sober, but I had some serious blinders on to all of it... hopefully this time around I'll be sober with my eyes wide open, enjoying it!

Good luck to all of you out there fighting the good fight!

toddle118

At least you're back fighting again, good luck and well done for getting back on the wagon!

Aarryckha

Glad that you are trying again!

Don't look at it as "I don't get to drink" but as I'm not going to drink today. Saying it as I don't get to makes it sound like a punishment rather than a choice.

doggonecarl

Don't focus so little on not drinking that you forget your goal.

I found the early weeks of recovery a battle between thinking about drinking and thinking about not drinking. Heck, I was in the midst of withdrawals, trying to put a stop to 35 years of daily drinking. So yes, I thought a lot about not drinking.

And it worked. I didn't drink.

12mancan

Exactly Aarry! That's all I did in the days leading up to my relaps last night, I was so focused on it being a self imposed punishment that I lost sight of all the gains I was making....

I'm so frustrated with myself for cracking... but feel more motivated than ever!

KateL

You can do it xxxx

least

I'm glad you're not giving up.

deeker

The relapse happens days or weeks before we pick up, in our minds. That is when we need to stop it.

It is when we are having those thoughts that we need to actually tell on ourselves by coming into SR and asking for help or calling our sponsors.

22 years ago when I had almost 3 yrs sober. I was working in a restaurant, the ambience and clinkling of wine glasses. Couples sharing a bottle of wine. All the romantic things about drinking came to mind. I allowed that thought to grow and fester for a few weeks. Next thing you know I am buying non alcoholic beer. Telling myself it is all I will drink. In 2 weeks I was up to my normal consumption and stayed out there for 22 yrs.


Next time tell on yourself.

Dee74

A change of attitude can help, but if that was all it took we could take SR offline today

don't neglect the bigger things either 12mancan

do you need more support in this?
do you need to use the support you have more?

have you made enough changes in your life to help you stay sober?


D

Hevyn

Hey 12man. You didn't go off on a long binge - you came back. That's something to be proud of. We know you can do this.

SeaScape

Now I am 2 days and a month ahead of you
Welcome back