Trying to understand
Trying to understand
I am the intruder in this forum. Usually post in F&F but I am losing sleep tonight. In a dark place and I am just trying to understand why my separated AH chooses this life. Have been separated for almost 2 years and he will never fully let me go. I try so hard to detach but we share a 5 year old and we have to see each other daily due to work schedules. I just want a simple understanding from those who struggle with what he is bound by...at the time when you are still actively drinking do you think about the pain your wife and children are facing? What do you do with all of that? I am strong for the most part but tonight I am restless thinking of him and how he has demolished us and how I have allowed it and the feelings are so raw. Help me understand, please.
Alcoholism is a VERY Self-Centered disease-Even IF You become one, You still May not "understand" this disease because it does such a good Job Lying to the Afflicted Individual...You Probably will have Much better Luck where you were, at F & F, Dear...
I am the intruder in this forum. Usually post in F&F but I am losing sleep tonight. In a dark place and I am just trying to understand why my separated AH chooses this life. Have been separated for almost 2 years and he will never fully let me go. I try so hard to detach but we share a 5 year old and we have to see each other daily due to work schedules. I just want a simple understanding from those who struggle with what he is bound by...at the time when you are still actively drinking do you think about the pain your wife and children are facing? What do you do with all of that? I am strong for the most part but tonight I am restless thinking of him and how he has demolished us and how I have allowed it and the feelings are so raw. Help me understand, please.
I really hope your husband reaches that point soon and I'm truly sorry for the pain you and your children are going through.
** edit So, to answer your question, no, I was never thinking about anyone other than myself.
It's hard to explain...it even sounds crazy to me now, looking back. But basically the brain of an addict is wired straight to the reward center. Everything else is a distant second. When you start to sober up the shame creeps in but you're never sober long enough for it to make a dent in your shield of denial.
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