Hello Again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 465
Hello Again
Hi everyone,
I've taken to lurking rather than posting regularly as I once did because... Yeah. I've been back at it again. Thankfully, not as bad as before (no hospitalization or the feeling that I need to be hospitalized) but not in a place I want to be.
I currently live with my boyfriend, whom I love dearly, but I think it's a bit of a detrimental living situation at the moment. He drinks, fairly heavily and is in an industry where it's the norm, and celebrated. He is looking into getting into another more lucrative field, one that will be more conducive to the family life that we talk about, but classes won't start for a bit and who knows when he'll get a job in that field.
We live with a roommate who also drinks, and we frequently host people who drink. My boyfriend and I want to have a life together, but I feel this way of living is detrimental. I'm almost thinking of moving out until things straighten out for him as it's played a big role in my going back to that dark place. Which yes, he feels bad about but ultimately it is my battle, not his; he's got his own.
I don't see either of us as hopeless, so breaking up is not an option. I know in my heart we can do this. I guess I just needed to vent and to hold myself accountable for my actions.
I'm glad to be back, and here's to another Day 1.
I've taken to lurking rather than posting regularly as I once did because... Yeah. I've been back at it again. Thankfully, not as bad as before (no hospitalization or the feeling that I need to be hospitalized) but not in a place I want to be.
I currently live with my boyfriend, whom I love dearly, but I think it's a bit of a detrimental living situation at the moment. He drinks, fairly heavily and is in an industry where it's the norm, and celebrated. He is looking into getting into another more lucrative field, one that will be more conducive to the family life that we talk about, but classes won't start for a bit and who knows when he'll get a job in that field.
We live with a roommate who also drinks, and we frequently host people who drink. My boyfriend and I want to have a life together, but I feel this way of living is detrimental. I'm almost thinking of moving out until things straighten out for him as it's played a big role in my going back to that dark place. Which yes, he feels bad about but ultimately it is my battle, not his; he's got his own.
I don't see either of us as hopeless, so breaking up is not an option. I know in my heart we can do this. I guess I just needed to vent and to hold myself accountable for my actions.
I'm glad to be back, and here's to another Day 1.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
"Yeah. I've been back at it again. Thankfully, not as bad as before (no hospitalization or the feeling that I need to be hospitalized) but not in a place I want to be."
YET. Your Eligible Too.
I was told that so often that it came true too soon. I also put many roadblocks up and had too many rationalizing to stay sober until I let go and listened to advise of those who had traveled my/our path which is people helping people.
BE WELL
YET. Your Eligible Too.
I was told that so often that it came true too soon. I also put many roadblocks up and had too many rationalizing to stay sober until I let go and listened to advise of those who had traveled my/our path which is people helping people.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
IOAA is right, I'm in a similar situation in that I have started drinking again after a couple of months sober. Nothing crazy happened, (i.e. I have not yet been hospitalized), but I'm sure, given enough time, it will happen. It's inevitable I'm sure. I'm not the greatest person to be taking advice from, but I would say that putting yourself in the prime position to succeed at sobriety should be considered to be the most important thing, so that means if you feel you need to temporarily move out to give yourself the necessary advantage, then I would say that is what you might think about doing.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi and welcome back. It sounds like you have put some thought into what you can do to stay sober and that is good. If temporarily moving out and working on your sobriety is an option that sounds like it is a good idea. My husband and I relapsed at about the same time. I stopped before him but it was extremely stressful and it probably wouldn't have been long before I started again, having to deal with all the alcoholic behavior being newly sober myself. It wasn't until he moved out for a bit and stopped himself that it became easier. Hang in there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 465
I do want to add that we are fortunate enough to be able to buy a new house when we chose to move, but the property value of our current house is supposed to double within about a year due to local property and transportation development. It's a blessing, but at the same time really frustrating as we want to get out of this environment and it seems silly to sell now for much less than we could get in a years time. Again, thinking about a future and family, here.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Alphabet,
I'm not sure what is the right answer for you, though you seem to believe that moving out for awhile would be for the best. Personally, I wouldn't make a decision based on the certainty that the property value would double in a year. Hopefully it will and it would be great, but it might not. And, it sounds like you're in a vulnerable living situation at the moment, so maybe getting out of that living situation should be the priority?
I'm not sure what is the right answer for you, though you seem to believe that moving out for awhile would be for the best. Personally, I wouldn't make a decision based on the certainty that the property value would double in a year. Hopefully it will and it would be great, but it might not. And, it sounds like you're in a vulnerable living situation at the moment, so maybe getting out of that living situation should be the priority?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 465
Originally Posted by Anna 
Hi Alphabet,
I'm not sure what is the right answer for you, though you seem to believe that moving out for awhile would be for the best. Personally, I wouldn't make a decision based on the certainty that the property value would double in a year. Hopefully it will and it would be great, but it might not. And, it sounds like you're in a vulnerable living situation at the moment, so maybe getting out of that living situation should be the priority?
I'm not sure what is the right answer for you, though you seem to believe that moving out for awhile would be for the best. Personally, I wouldn't make a decision based on the certainty that the property value would double in a year. Hopefully it will and it would be great, but it might not. And, it sounds like you're in a vulnerable living situation at the moment, so maybe getting out of that living situation should be the priority?
Keep in mind that this was NEVER the situation I thought I'd be in. I was technically homeless not long ago, (as some of you may remember) so I did not grow up with a silver spoon. It took a while to get used to the fact that the love of my life did and not be resentful of that (which is still a struggle).
I'm just very frustrated. If I move out, it may be worse as I won't have someone holding me accountable anymore. Moving back in with a family member is not an option.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
"Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future."
Friend, and I say this with love, it doesn't matter if the value of that house quintupled in the next year. If you're really serious about sobriety, than I cannot encourage you enough to get out of that environment asap. Otherwise, I'm afraid the atmosphere will eventually consume you. You have to choose. Continue to remain on the path you've been on, or choose a brand new one, that's much healthier.
It's just that simple.
Friend, and I say this with love, it doesn't matter if the value of that house quintupled in the next year. If you're really serious about sobriety, than I cannot encourage you enough to get out of that environment asap. Otherwise, I'm afraid the atmosphere will eventually consume you. You have to choose. Continue to remain on the path you've been on, or choose a brand new one, that's much healthier.
It's just that simple.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Welcome back Alphabet 
I really wanted to be sober - but I really wanted not to change anything else in my life - unfortunately my life was all about drinking,. the things I did, the places I went and the people I hung around with...
If you think you need to make changes, you're probably right...put your recovery first for a while
I think you'll be glad you did
D
I really wanted to be sober - but I really wanted not to change anything else in my life - unfortunately my life was all about drinking,. the things I did, the places I went and the people I hung around with...
If you think you need to make changes, you're probably right...put your recovery first for a while
I think you'll be glad you did
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 465
Hi all,
Didn't make it through day one, but today still not feeling terrible withdrawal symptoms. My boyfriend is on board with me not drinking and gas agreed to not drink around me and not keep booze in the house (obv. we can't control our roommate in that dept.)
We'll get through this. I'm not thrilled with myself, but I know I can conquer this with willpower, meetings, and support.
Thank you all.
Didn't make it through day one, but today still not feeling terrible withdrawal symptoms. My boyfriend is on board with me not drinking and gas agreed to not drink around me and not keep booze in the house (obv. we can't control our roommate in that dept.)
We'll get through this. I'm not thrilled with myself, but I know I can conquer this with willpower, meetings, and support.
Thank you all.
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