I'm curious
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2
I'm curious
Hi, I'm new, and I have a question, please. I imagine that the definition of an alcoholic is broad. On one extreme, alcohol causes some people stop functioning normally, and then they eventually lose their jobs, their families, and their homes. Others may function a little better, but they wake-up every morning and need a beer or a bloodymary to right the ship, so to speak.
I don't ever wake up hung over and I don't need a drink in the morning. I have a home, a happy family, a good (but stressful and uncertain) job, and I function well on a daily basis. But I drink several alcoholic beverages every day, and I have done so for many years. I don't drink to get drunk, but you could say that I drink to get 'high'. The feeling of relaxation washes over me with such a warm fuzzy buzz, and I do look forward to my evening cocktails and wine every single day.
I used to justify this by saying that I was on the 'European Plan' of alcoholic consumption, noting that in Europe it is common to drink every day. Actually, the official definition of a moderate drinker in Europe is higher than the number that American doctors go by. But now, at 53, I am gaining a lot of weight in my belly, and I am starting to worry about the negative effects of alcohol on my health in general. I stopped drinking beer a long time ago, thinking this would avoid the dreaded 'beer belly', but alas, I was wrong.
I sometimes wake-up in the middle of the night, and in what seems to be a moment of pure thought, I tell myself that I will not buy another bottle of gin until I lose the weight, but I haven't yet succeeded in carrying out that wish.
Honestly, if there were no negative health ramifications, I wouldn't want to quit, because I love the relaxing buzz so much. I often wish there was a natural and healthy magic pill that would give me a similar feeling, but I know none exists.
Thanks for suffering through my long, run-on preamble, but with no further a do, here is my question. Have I just herewith described myself as an alcoholic?
I don't ever wake up hung over and I don't need a drink in the morning. I have a home, a happy family, a good (but stressful and uncertain) job, and I function well on a daily basis. But I drink several alcoholic beverages every day, and I have done so for many years. I don't drink to get drunk, but you could say that I drink to get 'high'. The feeling of relaxation washes over me with such a warm fuzzy buzz, and I do look forward to my evening cocktails and wine every single day.
I used to justify this by saying that I was on the 'European Plan' of alcoholic consumption, noting that in Europe it is common to drink every day. Actually, the official definition of a moderate drinker in Europe is higher than the number that American doctors go by. But now, at 53, I am gaining a lot of weight in my belly, and I am starting to worry about the negative effects of alcohol on my health in general. I stopped drinking beer a long time ago, thinking this would avoid the dreaded 'beer belly', but alas, I was wrong.
I sometimes wake-up in the middle of the night, and in what seems to be a moment of pure thought, I tell myself that I will not buy another bottle of gin until I lose the weight, but I haven't yet succeeded in carrying out that wish.
Honestly, if there were no negative health ramifications, I wouldn't want to quit, because I love the relaxing buzz so much. I often wish there was a natural and healthy magic pill that would give me a similar feeling, but I know none exists.
Thanks for suffering through my long, run-on preamble, but with no further a do, here is my question. Have I just herewith described myself as an alcoholic?
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to sober recovery.
You can't stop drinking despite your strong desire to do so. I'd call that a problem, alcoholic or not.
I couldn't stop drinking after my doctor told me to. I thought it was because I liked the buzz of alcohol so much. No. It was because I needed the buzz of alcohol. Big difference.
Originally Posted by eyeM2 
Have I just herewith described myself as an alcoholic?
I couldn't stop drinking after my doctor told me to. I thought it was because I liked the buzz of alcohol so much. No. It was because I needed the buzz of alcohol. Big difference.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
There is such a difference between the drinking habits of European countries that referring to a European standard is impossible. And, European countries have a segment of the population that is alcoholic just like anywhere else.
What you can say about Europe is that wine is often served with dinner as a beverage choice in many European countries, but not all of them.
I think the best way to determine the extent of your problem is to see what happens when you quit for a month or so. If you find that you have intense cravings and can't stay sober for any length of time, you most likely have a problem. If you can drop the alcohol without a second thought, you may be out of the risk zone.
What you can say about Europe is that wine is often served with dinner as a beverage choice in many European countries, but not all of them.
I think the best way to determine the extent of your problem is to see what happens when you quit for a month or so. If you find that you have intense cravings and can't stay sober for any length of time, you most likely have a problem. If you can drop the alcohol without a second thought, you may be out of the risk zone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Maybe you could stop for a month and see how you feel?
You would know pretty fast if you depend on Alcohol. For me doing such tests were pretty conclusive. I did not know how to feel happy anymore.
You would know pretty fast if you depend on Alcohol. For me doing such tests were pretty conclusive. I did not know how to feel happy anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,857
Hello eyeM2 and welcome to SR.
Alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes and only you can determine if you have a problem. The way you describe yourself is the way I described myself before tipping over the edge onto the slippery slope.
We don't give medical advice here but a visit to your doctor may be advisable especially if you are gaining weight in your abdomen. You don't have to be a raging alcoholic for the effects of alcohol to do harm to your body.
Again, welcome.
Alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes and only you can determine if you have a problem. The way you describe yourself is the way I described myself before tipping over the edge onto the slippery slope.
We don't give medical advice here but a visit to your doctor may be advisable especially if you are gaining weight in your abdomen. You don't have to be a raging alcoholic for the effects of alcohol to do harm to your body.
Again, welcome.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Whilst weight is an issue maybe deep down it is much more than this. You must be concerned about your drinking or you wouldn't have browsed the internet for drinking forums and signed up here. Welcome btw 
Only you know if you have a problem or not.Personally,I don't get bogged down with labels-alcoholic, problem drinker,excessive social drinker, concerning drinker etc etc. Neither does the amount have a huge impact. I just ask myself does my drinking have consequences that I'm not happy with? Also, Do I drink more than I said I would. Do I drink even when I said I wouldn't. Can I stop at 1 drink all the time-does it bother me if I have to stop?
For me, my life is better without alcohol in it. I love the effect of alcohol-the warm buzz as you say. I just couldn't be sure as to how the night would end up. Not every time of course but who knew when it would be a 'bad' night
Only you know if you have a problem or not.Personally,I don't get bogged down with labels-alcoholic, problem drinker,excessive social drinker, concerning drinker etc etc. Neither does the amount have a huge impact. I just ask myself does my drinking have consequences that I'm not happy with? Also, Do I drink more than I said I would. Do I drink even when I said I wouldn't. Can I stop at 1 drink all the time-does it bother me if I have to stop?
For me, my life is better without alcohol in it. I love the effect of alcohol-the warm buzz as you say. I just couldn't be sure as to how the night would end up. Not every time of course but who knew when it would be a 'bad' night
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 64
I never knew/realized I had any type of problem (one actually before the alcohol) until I was forced into rehab at 17. Then I was forced to recognize and understand that it was a problem. Knowing what addiction feels like, when the clear thought finally crossed my mind that "crap maybe I really do have an alcohol problem", there was no going back. I realized it, labeled myself, and the rest is yet to unfold. I knew I had a problem, I just didnt want to recognize it or admit it, but when I did, I couldn't deny it anymore. I guess what I'm basically saying is that if you feel like you know you have a problem, you probably do. It doesn't always take a professional to tell you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 286
For me it went in stages. But once the voice started whispering to me "Could I stop if I wanted to? If so, then why have I not at least tried to stop?" then I knew it was a problem. Whether that means drinking problem vs alcoholic vs whatever other labels there are out there at some point became moot because if I wanted to stop and found it difficult then that is what matters.
So I guess I'd echo what a few others have said above -- decide you'll stop for 30 days. See how that goes for you. You'll know pretty quick, I'd imagine, because it'll either be really difficult and you'll be hyper-aware of it and have cravings and possibly go into denial, like "Oh well, stopping for 30 days wasn't necessary because I really don't think I have a problem after all" instead of actually being able to stop for 30 days --OR you'll decide to stop, won't have to think all that much about it, and coast through the 30 days (and lose weight -- I'm sure that will happen for you if you stop for a month) and then you can decide if the weight loss benefit outweighed not drinking.
Either way, we are here for you. This is a wonderful place.
Best to you!
Jackie
So I guess I'd echo what a few others have said above -- decide you'll stop for 30 days. See how that goes for you. You'll know pretty quick, I'd imagine, because it'll either be really difficult and you'll be hyper-aware of it and have cravings and possibly go into denial, like "Oh well, stopping for 30 days wasn't necessary because I really don't think I have a problem after all" instead of actually being able to stop for 30 days --OR you'll decide to stop, won't have to think all that much about it, and coast through the 30 days (and lose weight -- I'm sure that will happen for you if you stop for a month) and then you can decide if the weight loss benefit outweighed not drinking.
Either way, we are here for you. This is a wonderful place.
Best to you!
Jackie
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I'd take an even broader definition, if alcohol affects your life in a negative way then there's a problem.
Whilst drinking, I held down a job, always got up on time, never lost my driving licence, never damaged a relationship . . . and never had a drink in the morning!!
But alcohol was damaging my life, health wise, productivity at work, I was isolating myself away in the evenings, and alcohol had become so a part of my life in the evenings, everything was planned out to facilitate consuming large amounts of it!!
When I quit, I wasn't that far in that i needed treatment or medication, my Dr said cold turkey would be safe based on blood tests etc, but because the "health ramifications" were mostly unnoticeable and on the inside, that didn't mean they didn't exist!
Why did I stop? well alcohol I realised was progressive, I started off having a few beers a night, but I quit beer also, whisky became my new best friend and after a while, a few shots became half a bottle a night!!
SR is a great place for support!! great to have you onboard!!
Whilst drinking, I held down a job, always got up on time, never lost my driving licence, never damaged a relationship . . . and never had a drink in the morning!!
But alcohol was damaging my life, health wise, productivity at work, I was isolating myself away in the evenings, and alcohol had become so a part of my life in the evenings, everything was planned out to facilitate consuming large amounts of it!!
When I quit, I wasn't that far in that i needed treatment or medication, my Dr said cold turkey would be safe based on blood tests etc, but because the "health ramifications" were mostly unnoticeable and on the inside, that didn't mean they didn't exist!
Why did I stop? well alcohol I realised was progressive, I started off having a few beers a night, but I quit beer also, whisky became my new best friend and after a while, a few shots became half a bottle a night!!
SR is a great place for support!! great to have you onboard!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
Welcome!
I hope that you know that are many ways to feel good about life without using alcohol. I guess alcohol is a handy and easy choice for many of us, and some of the other options take a bit more work. Meditating is great for relaxing and feeling calm and centered. Yoga works wonders for me and I love it. Of course, books and music have always played a part in the joy in my life.
I hope that you know that are many ways to feel good about life without using alcohol. I guess alcohol is a handy and easy choice for many of us, and some of the other options take a bit more work. Meditating is great for relaxing and feeling calm and centered. Yoga works wonders for me and I love it. Of course, books and music have always played a part in the joy in my life.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2
Wow - You are all tremendous! Thanks so much to all of you for responding with such wisdom and encouragement, and I must say - you make a great point. If I somehow surfed my way onto this website, then I must think that I have an issue to deal with. And if I've asked myself to stop in the past, but I couldn't, well then that's quite telling, isn't it.
I will ponder the suggestion for a certain hiatus, because it really makes sense, but I'm not sure about 30 days (ouch). It seems like such a long commitment.
I once heard a famous UK golfer joke about working out and lifting weights. He said, "I don't like to lift weights. They're so heavy." Well, of course, isn't that the point of the exercise!?!
I will ponder the suggestion for a certain hiatus, because it really makes sense, but I'm not sure about 30 days (ouch). It seems like such a long commitment.
I once heard a famous UK golfer joke about working out and lifting weights. He said, "I don't like to lift weights. They're so heavy." Well, of course, isn't that the point of the exercise!?!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Can you live without drinking for about a year? If alcohol isn't a problem, then this is not a problem.
Only you can decide if you are alcoholic or not.
If you stop and life is okay, don't drink. If life gets horrible, AA might help. There are other methods that can help you stay stopped, too!
Only you can decide if you are alcoholic or not.
If you stop and life is okay, don't drink. If life gets horrible, AA might help. There are other methods that can help you stay stopped, too!
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