youngLadySober

So I have not drank in 34 days! Great and all but Im want to ******* have the option one day in the future to be able to drink. My boyfriend whom I love to death said if I ever drink he will leave me. Which I understand because I but him through hell a few times. I didnt drink everyday. I was a binge drinker and when I did drink sometimes things went array. Im only 23 and I feel like thats a huge commitment and it stresses me out when I think about it. Like what if Im 45 and I want to have a glass of wine? Is he going to divorce me then? Like what about my freaking barcholerette party?!?! I dont want to drink every weekend. Im past all that I just want to drink on special occasions. Everytime I bring this up he won't budge and its ******* annoying. I feel like Im getting my head straight one when it comes to drinking. But the idea of not ever drinking makes it hard to see me and him together. WHICH SOUNDS CRAZY! How is alcohol that big of a deal.

Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? Like its a Friday night and I want to be normal and go out but I ******* can't because I can't ******* drink and this is becoming harder than I expected.

Thepatman

The recovery needs to be about you my friend. Having the Ultimatum above your head is not a good thing I think. Creating stress.

Do You want sobriety or doing it for the said boyfriend ?

Sorry this is a straight question, no judgement in it.

Well done on your sobriety.

Raider

You are 23. Don't wait until you are 55 to figure this out. I want to drink too. We all want to drink with no consequences. We all want to be normal drinkers. We all wish this wasn't an issue for us. It's just not FAIR!
But hopefully your Mom told you life wasn't fair. Because it's not.

You have a choice. It's all up to you.

Dee74

it's pretty normal to feel this way in the beginning - especially if you feel you've been forced into quitting.

How have the last 34 days been - do you feel better at all?

D

youngLadySober

I know I shouldn't drink. I don't want to but I do at the same freaking time. It makes no sense to me. Really bad things have happened and there are days where Im happy Im not drinking and excited on how far I have come but then there days like today where I'm like this isn't fair. What is wrong with me? I guess I need to stop whining and just give it up...it just feels like a lot right now...

SoberLeigh

Congratulations on 34 days, youngLadySober; well done. I hear you and I feel for you. The thing is - for alcoholics, drinking in moderation or occasionally simply doesn't work. We might be successful once or twice but the downward spiral almost always quickly follows and at an alarming pace. With that downward spiral often comes the reality that those special occasions have become nightmares we cannot easily forget.

Stick with it; it does get easier; I swear to you, sobriety can be absolutely amazing.

Lenina

YoungLady, if it were possible for us to drink on occassion and not be insane, we would! But we can't. So, we move on, we find our joy, love our family and friends and have a good life instead of ending up drunk old worn out lonely people.

love from Lenina

Elisabeth888

I commend you for getting sober! I hope you stay that way! Imagine all of the CRAP you can bypass if you do not pick up? DUIs, legal problems, divorce, losing custody of children, going to jail, going to rehab 5 times. God knows what else. If your an alcoholic, bad stuff starts to happen.

Have you thought about finding a young person's meeting at AA? You will meet awesome sober friends and the steps will change your life.

least

When I first got sober I was mad cause I couldn't drink. But with more sober time, and my life improving due to being sober, I lost the desire to drink and now live happily sober. Give yourself time to get used to being sober. It's not as bad as you might think.

Thepatman

Addiction my friend is what it's called. Sadly it can take over your entire life.

But on the other side you can learn to deal with life without it. Seek the help, don't do like I did.

I am humbly seeking my own help with an outpatient program. I need help, maybe you do also? Life without Alcohol is possible if we address the root cause of our despair.

My 50 cents ;-)

youngLadySober

Its been up and down. Honestly I'm happy I have decided I don't drink but there are a lot of days where I question my decision. I just feel like I'm not going to be able to make friends and be "cool to hang around" when meeting people. I just moved to Denver and I have meet a few people...whos hobby is drinking and I pretty much can't hang out with them so Ive been hanging out with my bf a lot more which is a good and bad thing sometimes. I feel like we should be out socializing with other people but hes so nervous to put me around alcohol that we avoid going to social things with people are age. We did however go to a bowling alley that served alcohol (most people are there to drink) and had a great time. I was actually able to look around and not be consumed with the idea that Im not drinking.


I guess one day at a time but right now this decision has me on a emotional roller coaster...

doggonecarl

On your first post here at SR, you said you had quit drinking after a DUI and three months later talked yourself into believing you could moderate your drinking. You failed.

That voice is the same "voice" you are listening to now, telling you that it's unfair that you can't drink, creating scenerios in your head where drinking will be a vital component, making you doubt you can go the rest of your life without alcohol.

That voice is your addiction.

It's taken a lot of people down a dark path. Be careful what you wish for when you wish you could drink.

Hevyn

Hi YoungLady. It's good to have you here.

I felt that way too - for years. Very resentful. So I didn't stop drinking - I insisted I could control it. That never worked for me - every time I picked up led me into danger. I never could predict what would happen once it was in my system. I had to stop in order to save myself from a horrible fate. 34 days is great, but it's still early in the game. You will begin to feel much better and less anxious.

Anna

You might want to read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp.

youngLadySober

I hope so...I really do...

Thepatman

One last thing. Changing your life around will implicate lifestyle changes. This might mean new friends, new activities, new everything!

youngLadySober

I know I shouldn't. It just scares me how convincing that voice is...so convincing...

aasharon90

I entered recovery 23 yrs ago. Continuous
sobriety without a drink for many one days
at a time added together using a program
of recovery in my everyday life.

I can rest to sure you that if I pick up a
drink today, I will be picking up just where
I left off 23 yrs ago and it aint gonna be
pretty.

My addiction has been put to rest and
has been dormant for a long time. To
feed that addiction and wake it up, it
wont be a little addiction, but rather a
HUGE monster.

For me, there never was enough alcohol
back in the day to satisfy my cravings for
it and there never will be. EVER.

I was 30 yrs old when I entered recovery,
married for about 8 yrs. with 2 adorable
little ones. My family stepped in with an
intervention which sent me into rehab,
receiving the help I so desperately needed
at that time in my life.

Today, I reflect back on that time in my
life, and I am extremely grateful for the
opportunity to take advantage of a recovery
program to teach me about my addiction
and give me a program to learn and use
each day I don't drink.

I have a purpose in life today, so drinking
is not an option. Id rather be of service in
recovery helping others struggling with
addiction just like I was yrs ago.

It is extremely rewarding.

KateL

Congrats on your sober time. You can do it. xxxx

Goldcoastgirl

I have just started reading this Anna and already had a lot of Lightbulb moments. I am going to re-read and highlight them. Drinking 3 drinks to everyone else 's one, fueling up before I went out so it didn't look like I had drunk as much - it's all so exhausting!