youngLadySober

Yea I went to a AA meeting...I was overwhelmed. I didn't feel like my story was worth telling compared to the stories I was hearing. There were some people that really went through a lot at such a young age that I felt like my drinking story was childs play...

Tamerua

Man I wish I had stopped at your age!

What are you doing for recovery? Maybe you need to talk to other people like you and make sober friends. Also, don't project too far out. It is stressful when you're worrying about not drinking at 40. Just think about not drinking today.

neferkamichael

youngLadySober, 34 days is FANTASTIC, congratulations. If I had the choice again I would pick the girlfriend I love instead of drinking, I would have been better off than I am now. One glass of wine at age 45, 22 years from now. So how much ya gonna drink between now and then. 22 years = 8030 days. If through the whole time period you only drank one glass a day, at $1.00 a glass, you would have spent $8030.00! That ain't no small chunk of change. There are a whole lot of reasons too quit, rootin for ya.

DeterminedGirl

First of all, congrats on the 34 days! Second.. I myself am only 25.. All of my friends go out every weekend and drink.. When I first decided to stop I had the same feelings you do.. "What am I going to do for fun now?" "I'm NEVER going to be able to drink again? I have my whole life ahead of me!" The list goes on.. My only advice is to just do what everyone struggling with sobriety tells you to do - take it one day at a time.

I have to admit.. The main reason I begin to drink again every time is because of these feelings. It's not easy to stay strong. My friends will take a trip to the vineyard and I won't be able to say no.. Or I'll get invited to a party and I'll tag along. But what I never realized was that deciding to not drink again means your lifestyle has to change.. It just depends on whether or not you're ready to change.

Dee74

All that sounds pretty normal to me

My life revolved around drinking for 20 years. When I quit I obviously had to make some changes...but I don't feel ripped off...I feel glad I stayed sober.

I'd been this other drinking person for so long I'd forgotten there was a real me in there somewhere. I'm glad I made his reacquaintance

It's rough to change but it is worth it- none of us would be here and sober if that wasn't true.

If there's even the littlest flickering flame in you of a desire for change, fan it - you will be glad you did

D

jakec

I know a lot of people already said this, but don't think of it as "I'm never going to drink again" , think of it as "I'm not going to drink today." Tomorrow isn't hear yet, nor is any day in the future, so why worry about it today? If the thought of not drinking for 24 hours becomes to overwhelming, break it down into smaller sections like "for the next 5 minutes, I'm not going to drink"

And congratulations on your time sober! 34 days is actually a really long time, you should be proud of yourself.

mimi2014

Young lady - I'm right there with you. Although I only have 16 days, I found myself pissed this morning. Y can't I just have one beer? What's that going to hurt? Answer - it hurts everything. I'm 47 and wish to God my then boyfriend and no ex-husband of 25 years) had said that to me. He cares that much about you and that's awesome. My advice - for what it's worth - one day at a time, try not to look 20 years down the line. The cost of that one drink (and we all know we can't stop at one) is far too much.

FreeFall

I wish I had stopped at your age-my entire life would have been different. I have struggled with the same feelings and issues you've brought up and I'm decades older. "You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometime, you just might find...you get what you need" The Stones said it so well.

I had a very selective memory. I only remembered how much "fun" I had while drinking and conveniently forgot all the bad, embarrassing, and self destructive things that alcohol delivered along with the buzz. Getting sober to me meant continually having to be responsible, boring, not being able to celebrate, feeling separate from friends, etc. I never looked at the positive things it would bring.

Try to remind yourself that sober you are a better friend and a better girlfriend. You smell better. You sound better. You are more present. You have more money. You can remember conversations. You will not get arrested.
Hang in there-you are off to a great start!

malcolmsloan

When I first got here, someone told me that, "sobriety is an ongoing project." I've had to really work on making things better, creating this new life, becoming proactive about this new way of life. For me, I realized that if I just hoped it got better, it probably wouldn't: I had to make it better, and it is. I'm 42, and if I would have gotten serious at 23, like you are, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and suffering. Congrats on your great start. Hang in there.

Rar

I read the book a couple of weeks ago. It's great!

liss74

It's hard enough wanting to get sober, being forced into it builds loads of resentment and as I know human nature and how defiant I am it won't take long to rebel . Take care of yourself their is so many beautiful supportive people on here I know because they have helped me everytime and something's I have not liked lol but needed to read xxx

liss74

Well said it's bloody cunning omg !

liss74

Soooooo much work oooo yes xx

Solar

I think a lot of people feel sad about stopping drink entirely for the same reason you mentioned - they get this picture in their head of being older and sharing a glass of wine with their loved one. Thing is, for many people with alcohol problems, there's no such thing as sipping a single glass of wine. If there was, they wouldn't have problems binging every time they took that first drink.

Alcohol has a tendency to make you remember the good times and not the reality. The reality is, if you do have an issue with alcohol, if you don't stop now, what your life will be like at 45 will likely be a whole lot different than that rosy picture you've got in your head.

deeker

My first meeting I was nineteen, felt the same as you do now. Like I was missing something. To young to be an alkie.

Here's what I would have been missing over the next 30 something years if I had continued on my path in AA.

3 DUI's, 5 detoxes, 5 psych wards, 4 treatment centers, a halfway house, a nursing home and in jail 7 times.

But I didn't miss it, it was my life.

If you decide to go out there again, no doubt you will have one of the best stories in AA and it won't be childs play.