Stang

On my last fall off the wagon I went on a disgusting rant on social media. When I came to I found what I had writen and was so embarrassed I disabled the account. I insulted women, black people and assorted others. I am no racist or misogamist just a sorry ass drunk. This has tobe my bottom. I have called my sister and apologized for embarrassing her and have many more amends to make. I still feel so ashamed of myself. I've dug p an old AA pamphlet and circled the closest groups. I've got to work the steps and do it with a sponser. Not asking any questions just letting some shame out.

ScottFromWI

Glad you've decided to make a change Stang. The best thing you can do at this point is exactly what you are suggesting - make a change so you don't do things like that anymore. You can't change yesterday..but you can change today.

Anna

I'm so glad that you're taking action. Good for you!

Stang

I'm not sure if I should reopen the account and publicly appologize or not.

least

If you don't drink again this never needs to happen again. I hope this is your last wake up call.

ScottFromWI

My personal .02 would be to move on with your recovery and leave that behind. You cannot take back what you have done, and those you know and value via social media can be contacted directly later on down the line.

Work on all the things you suggested you would be doing in your first post - that's what's important.

Hevyn

Hi Stang. I did out-of-character things when drunk that I couldn't believe I was capable of. We have to forgive ourselves and let it make us more determined to stay quit. Bad and unpredictable things always happen when we pick up - that will never change. Glad you are back on track.

Dee74

Hi Stang
good to see you back

I agree with the others that social media is not really your biggest problem right now...

focus on the recovery...apologies/amends can come later if you like

D

Thepatman

I second everyone, forget what you did. Just get sober ;-)

You can do this. There is always an once of power left when we think we are out.

DeterminedGirl

I agree completely, I'm newly sober and right now this is the only thing that's keeping me going. Knowing I no longer have to fear the stupid things I do when I'm drunk is enough to keep me on track right now, I hope that thought process helps you out as well Stang.

Looking4Help123

Hi Stang,

I tried apologising for things I did when drunk. It just doesn't work. They are still hurt, feelings are raw, they will probably lash back out at you and that will make you feel even worse. Turning to drink to ease the pain. You then end up in this endless cycle.

Like everyone says, if you focus on yourself for a bit you can make some sense of things and start to think about recovery.

Good luck.

Tamerua

I am glad you are recognizing it is a problem and fixing it. Get a sponsor and work it!

I wouldn't open the account. If anyone says anything to you, apologize. Otherwise, just work on your recovery.

whopper

I too have also made stupid posts online which everyone has seen. I was drunk and didn't mean any of it but for some reason it happened. Now I know people view me in a different light although I did apologize, but there is nothing else I can do. I do feel bad about it but I just have to live with what happened and accept that I am not perfect.

SlickRick07

I know how you feel. I am a notorious misogynist when drinking.

Imabuleva

Alcohol makes me a dumba$$ too.

It's a psychoactive drug. The real you is not the drunk you. The real you is the sober you.

I am also embarrassed with things I've done and said while drinking. I'm guessing it comes with the territory.

Aarryckha

On one of my drunken blackouts, I tried hitting a friend in the face with a flashlight after an argument over a band. I've done so many dumb things... one of the reasons for wanting to get sober.

LadyinBC

One day at a time and one thing at a time. Keep it simple. Don't take on too much. Like others have said, right now the goal is to quit drinking and get a plan in place. Focus on that.

Chilledice

Booze does that to me aswell, the amount of drunken nights ive posted on FB about taking revenge on certain people etc

Dude we have ALL done things that we regret whilst hammered, just get yourself sober and well and move forward!

ReadyAtLast

Welcome to SR.
Staying sober is the best action you can take.
I'd stay well away from FB and other social media.It can be a huge trigger and is an unnecessary part of recovery or real life

FreeOwl

Hey Stang....

shame is the biggest ally of Alcohol. Shame and "Slick" work together to get you drunk.

Let go of that shame by first and foremost working to forgive YOURSELF. That rant you went on wasn't you - it was the twisted mindset of a drunken and miserable place that existed in your head only because of the chemical soup you candied your brain in.

Some will one day understand that. Others may not. For now, that's not your primary concern. You can work to make amends as you become healthy and demonstrate with your actions the REAL you.

Start with getting yourself firmly on the path of sobriety and each day remind yourself that you're human, you have an addiction and that YOU are a good person who is not a racist, misogynist jerkwad. Look yourself in the mirror and say "hey, I forgive you.... " and remind yourself that you deserve a joyful, sober life.