jakec

Hello everybody!

Having a pretty good day right now, but this week has been pretty rough..as a direct result of me trying to take back my will.. silly me.

I basically found out that my original discharge date(late march) has been taken away because I'm not ready to leave so soon.. I was FURIOUS..to say the least. I screamed and cried and destroyed my room, I called my dad and told him to come get me and he said no, and I continued to rage for another hour or so until I realized two things: 1 - that the fact that I was throwing a temper tantrum over something so little was probably a good indicator that I still have a lot of work to do in treatment. And 2 - If everyone in my life is telling me that I'm not ready to leave and I'm fighting it with all my mite, then it's probably not God's will for me to go when I was originally supposed to.

So I'm now working extra hard to accept that things are happening exactly as they're supposed to happen and honestly, I already feel a whole lot better.

I'm on a home visit until saturday, and on saturday my dad and I are going to an AA convention. I'm alive, I'm still clean - so everything is going pretty darn well.

Any feedback? Anyone else have thoughts or troubles with "Letting go and Letting God"?

Thanks
Jake.

Raider

Yes it's very hard to let go and let God. It's very hard what you are doing. When is your new release date or did they give you one? What kind of rehab lets you go home? Never heard of it. Explain if you have a minute.

Raider

You're 17???

jakec

Yes I am 17. I'm at a long-term residental rehab, not like a 28 day hospital inpatient. But where I'm at now, if you get to a certain level you get home visits.. it's a nice way of getting used to being on "the outisde" and they have not given me a new date, they want us to work on my problems for a while before giving me one.

LooseGrip

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-some fact of my life -unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake."

Raider

Oh Jake. I'm so sorry this is happening to you at such a young age. On the other hand, glad you are not wasting your whole life trying to figure it out. Good luck Jake. I'll be praying for you.

aasharon90

You are not the only one to throw a tantrum. In
fact, as I read your share, I hadn't called what I
did in rehab back in Aug. 1990 a tantrum, but,
now I realized it actually was.

Here I was in rehab, sort of like the mother hen
of other patiants, poping popcorn for them to eat
upon their return from a meeting outside the
facility, where it wasn't my turn yet. Just caring
about folks, being kind to people I didn't know.

And then it was time for lunch. I was in my room
thinking someone would come get me or make
sure I was joining everyone else, and yet, no one
came for me. I got pizzed, I think I began to beat
on the screened in windows, something like that,
then a councilor came in while I was crying and
was told something, not sure, probably grow a pair...lol
not really, lol, and go get some lunch.

I held a huge resentment because, I figured,
people would treat me the same way I was
treating them. With kindness, consideration.

I guess I eventually had to let got and every
man/women for themselves. I also learned
that everyone in rehab was just as sick as
I with some sort of addiction and I needed
time to learn how to live life on lifes terms
even in treatment.

I didn't learn everything in rehab, but did
have the seed of recovery planted in me
to bring home and begin nurturing it with
the tools and knowledge of a recovery
program taught to me.

23 yrs. sober and im still learning. Even
from you.

The gift of life and recovery are there
for the taking and received with gratefulness
to not be taken for granted.

Listen, learn, absorb, apply.

Coldfusion

Hi Jake!

I recently posted this new idea here:

"Things are not working as I expected. I am expected to do more work."

Thepatman

Accepting things I cannot control and taking action on things I can is my current work.

Wish we could have a video of when you destroyed your room. Yikes! ;-)

Raider

I didn't throw any tantrum in rehab. I'd be afraid they might take my pillows.

jakec

lol.. it was bad.. I flipped my dresser over, broke a chair, broke my bed frame, and smashed an alarm clock.... you could say I have a slight anger problem.

Raider

$hit, didn't you realize they could kype your pillows??? Dude, keep your eyes on the ball.....

Dee74

The older I get the more I find things work out Jake...not always the way I thought, but they always work out

stay strong jake

D

2muchpain

Jake, it must be really hard to be away from your friends and family, but one day you are going to look back at what you are going through and feel lucky that you had the opportunity to be where you are!! You now have the chance to turn things around and have a fantastic life. Take the time to learn as much as you can. It will pay off in the future. It also sounds like you have a dad that loves you very much and wants nothing but the best for you. Try to relax, take deep breaths, count to 10 (or in your case, maybe 100 lol). Keep the faith and stay strong.