Mizzuno

Having moments of frustration is normal for anyone, even the person who is not an addict/ alcoholic in recovery. I do not know how long you have been thinking of this relapse and how much power you have given the thoughts? If I can encourage you to start thinking of why you are here in the first place, this may stop you from drinking. Right now, I see that you are on the fence. On one side we have the arena of drinkers. The other, is filled with you and I and many many other people who abstain from alcohol. What you have to do, and what you want to do may be two different things entirely. I hope that the you will be able to come to conclusion that the "have" to do is imperative for your well being, and you will turn this into wanting to continue on in sobriety. It doesnt matter that you have been required to maintain this state. It may be just what you need. I was on the fence a few years back when I obtained a year of sobriety. What ensued was a few more years of horror, and only now am I getting back that year of sobriety in a few days. Please do not feed these thoughts. The thoughts only have as much power as you choose to give them.

StraightAhead

Congratulations on your year. Your reward is having gotten away from alcohol with your life intact, and hopefully your health too. So many people end up ruining their health from drinking, so assuming your health is good (at least we know its good enough to type!) you have a GREAT gift right there. You were fortunate enough to have escaped the trap, going back now is unthinkable.

Gibbons2

Wise words Coldfusion. That helped me.

Axle

I've got 31 days, you.rock! I've developed an allergic reaction to shellfish, that sucks. I love crab, clams,ect.if I eat them , my body turns red and I can't breath, and I need a Benadryl ASAP . Why the rational irrational inner talk about booze?
If I could drink responsibly, I wouldn't be in aa or posting here , just like you.
I hope that inner voice will become more and more faint for us all.
Daily work. Best wishes.