grubby

Hello SR! First post!

I am new here, I have not had the time to put together a formal introduction post but plan on doing so within the next few days.

A few questions I had for the community:

1. Is it safe/a good idea, after a fairly "safe" period of abstinence (say... 6 months or more), to return to drinking on a "casual" basis (say... 1 or 2 drinks a week)? I am not going to lie to you guys or myself, I genuinely enjoy drinking... it is very relaxing The reason I have quit for the time being is that the alcohol started to become a distraction and I came to my senses and decided I needed to take a break and discuss the matter further with people more knowledgeable than I (like this forum).





2. I did a little homework during my first week of quitting and learned that consuming alcohol over a long period of time is akin to pushing down on a giant coil spring, then when you suddenly "get off" it, that stored energy "bounces" back violently and gives you the symptoms of withdrawal. My question is, how long (ballpark) until the brain/nervous system calms down? Does the brain EVER return to it's pre-alcoholism state? Or is this hyper-excited state a permanent thing?





3. I been reading a lot about the "dangers" of alcohol kindling, could this "kindling" be triggered at all by such a "light" drinking arrangement as described in question #1? Or is the "kindling" effect only triggered by multiple returns to HEAVY drinking? Is it something a "light" drinker would need to worry about at all? I could use some clarification on this.





4. My dad was a life-time alcoholic, as was his dad... and his dad. Being that alcoholism apparently runs in my genetics and family line, how does this factor in? Is it good (can drink more)? Or is it bad (more susceptible to dependence)? Both?





5. I only drank for give or take 4 years, and I am in my mid-twenties. I started off kind of heavy, then went down to a very "light" frequency (6-8 regular 5% beers a week), then in the second half of 2013 due to a stressful series of events I went back to a heavy/daily routine... would you guys recommend any sort of blood test or anything like that given my age? Is that "Wernicke-Korsakoff" disease even applicable or possible in this instance? Or is that mainly for long-term/older drinkers which drank for a really long time, say... 15+ years? I looked up the symptoms and I do not exhibit any of them, the worst symptoms I experienced during my first week were severe insomnia and higher blood pressure/racing heart which subsided after 5 days.





Just an FYI if it helps or matters, my last drink was February 17, 2014, a little past 1:30 in the afternoon. Today is day 16 of being sober.

Before you ask, yes... I did go to my doctor and ask him about it... several days later. Stupid I know, but I didn't know how serious this "withdrawal" stuff can be and plus this is my first time doing this. A typical newbie mistake I am learning, thinking I could "diagnose" myself via Google. My doctor checked me out/blood pressure/vitals, and he said the worst was over... prescribed me some Ambien to help with the insomnia and sent me on my way.

My daily drinking habit towards the end was as follows:

1x 40 oz bottle (either "Olde English 800" or "Steel Reserve")

2x regular 5% beers (usually "Heineken" 12 oz bottles)

1-2x shots of cheap "Burnetts" vodka (every other day or so)



I understand you guys cannot give medical advice, but I was just wanting to pick the brains of some of the members on here. Just to get a second opinion, hopefully from people who may be knowledgeable in some of the questions I have brought forward. Any responses to this post are most appreciated, help a newbie out!

Anyways, I look forward to getting to know and learning from you all

To a sober life...

Tang

Sounds like you could write a dissertation on your drinking habits. I was the same way. Normal drinkers don't put that much thought into it. I'll let more experienced folks chime in.

Rickh54

Questions for you:
Do you feel your drinking habits are a problem for you?
Have you had relationship problems? Police problems? Job problems?
Do you stress over when you can have a drink again?
Do you think about drinking when you are not drinking?
Is your drinking activity taking the place of your other responsibilities or healthy activities and hobbies?

All of us that are members of SR have a problem. Some are 1 day sober. Others are 20+ years. Common bond is we are all drunks/addicts that want to live a sober life.
I am not a health or addiction expert thats for sure. All I know is that I have a drinking problem that developed early in my life. I did not admit it to myself until a liver test came back with a red flag attached to it. Binge drinking, solo drinking, sneaky drinking, excuse drinking. I had my own stool at the local saloon. You name it, I found a reason to drink.
I am also a successful businessman, husband of 33 years, father to 3 great kids and Papa to 2. Also have a bad case of the YETS.
Havent had a car accident YET. Haven't lost my wife YET. Havent puked on my bosses shoes YET.
Grubby, I am now 60 years old and I probably spilled more in a week than you are stating you are drinking. However, only you can honestly answer the question: Do I have a problem? If the answer is yes, then you have come to one of the right places available to you to get some help. Great folks on this site that have had the same thoughts as you.
Spend time here, read, listen, ask questions and post how you are doing. Because we care. Congratulations on your 17 days sober. That is a great accomplishment.
Best wishes to you on your journey.

Forghetti35

I quit for nearly a year in 2011. Thought I could drink responsibly after. It was the worst decision I ever made. At first it started okay, but then my drinking escalated and surpassed my prior level. Most stories you'll hear in this site will be similar. I'm always susceptible to my addict voice, even when I have things "under control". Moderation didn't work in the past, why would I expect it to work in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years?

shirlygirly

Hi, Grubby. You sound like I sounded throughout my mid- to late-twenties, when I started really trying to control my drinking. Well, it honestly took from the age of 18 to 29 to find out that the only way I could control my drinking was to not drink at all. The questions you're asking make it pretty clear that your drinking habits are alcoholic. Abstaining for a period of time, switching from beer to wine, not drinking during the week, drinking only at weddings and special occasions, moving/starting a new job, and/or hanging out with a new group of friends, etc. are not going to change how your body and brain respond to alcohol. These are all things that myself and nearly every sober person I know tried before they decided it wasn't worth the struggle anymore and made the decision to get sober. Like tang said, normal drinkers don't think about their drinking. They don't seek out a sober recovery forum, take "am I an alcoholic" quizzes, or spend any length of time questioning your drinking habits. Before I got sober I downloaded the Alcoholics Anonymous app, which keeps track of your sober time, and when I'd hit 30 days I'd celebrate by getting drunk. Crazy, right? So with that said, I think if you really, honestly look within yourself you'll find the answers to your questions.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR, Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this.

If you are an alcoholic, there is no "safe" period after which you can return to drinking, abstinence is the only solution. You have to decide if you are an alcoholic though.

Ruby2

I can't answer your question. All I know is that after ten and a half months of abstinence I started drinking again. Right back to 6 to 8 beers every night during the week and more than a 12 pack on weekends with a little wine to add to the mix. I can never return to casual drinking. Most of us on here genuinely enjoyed drinking. We enjoyed it a little too much.

I also don't understand the part about alcoholism in your dad and grandfather and asking if it is good you can drink more? Over the course of drinking I developed a high tolerance to alcohol and therefore had to drink more to achieve the same effect. I don't know that I would call that " good." I could and drink more than most people but at what cost to my body? I'm a 5'3" woman and weighed 120 pounds soaking wet. Certainly if your father and grandfather were or are alcoholics you are genetically at risk for alcohol addiction.

I dunno. I think Tang hit it on the nose. If you have given this amount of thought and energy into detailing and thinking about your drinking it has become a problem. Normal drinkers really don't put that much time into an analysis of their drinking habits and histories. I certainly did when I was trying to justify why I should be able to drink normally. The problem was I could never drink normally. Stick around and read the boards, posts and stickies to learn more. You may not be addicted to alcohol. Who knows. For me, I just can't stop once started so it is far better to not pretend to myself that I will or can stop at one.

Dee74

Hi and welcome

I think people often confuse abstinence with control.

I have not been a drinker since 2007 but I know if I drink again, the same things that used to happen will assuredly happen again.

I have 20 years personal 'field work' to back up that belief.



I've never heard the spring analogy.

As descriptive as it is, I think it's best to simply look at what happens.

Over a long period of drinking we can do a lot of damage to mind and body. We often stave off the effects of this by repeated drinking.

When we finally stop that cycle, it takes a little while for us to recuperate.

Timetables vary person to person. It may be a couple of weeks, it may be a month...for me it was 3 months, but I had other health issues too...

I'm not a Dr - but my personal experience leads me to believe that any amount of alcohol could set that process off again.

If it was overwhelmingly 'good' neither of us would be here on SR

Genetic or not (and I'm not sure mine is) alcoholism ultimately destroys - and any 'benefits' of drinking need to be examined in that light I think.

That, and the rest of your post, is something I'll leave to qualified medical people grubby

D

KenHendrix94

if your a real alcoholic then no.

Longpasttime

Read your own #4 a bunch of times. Genetic vs. learned argument doesn't matter - you have both.
Being able to drink more isnt a plus in my book, just means more harm to your body for the same buzz.
Just my opinion, and glad you are here exploring this question for your life, make sure to read the many cautionary tales.

ErikT

Non-alcoholics don't need to log onto sites like this. Never even has to cross their mind. And they wouldn't be able to write out a diagram or quantity chart....nor would that ever cross their mind....

WhoDey

Grubby ... First, great job on 16 days of not drinking and for coming to this site and posting. Those are two very positive moves.

I recommend that you take some time and read other threads on this board. I learned a lot about my own problem with alcohol by reading the tales of others.

Also, don't get hung up on the semantics, e.g., alcoholism, alcoholic, etc.. Figure out if you have a problem with alcohol. That's the first step.

ReadyAtLast

soundsl like you're just trying to come up with reasons/excuses to keep drinking.
No one here will tell you to go ahead and drink.
A period of abstinence does not lead to control
Normal drinkers don't give it so much thought .They just naturally drink normally.
Being here,you know you have a problem.It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about you or your drinking. you know if you have a problem. something brought you here?

Most of us here love the taste/feel/effect of drinking. But it controls us and life is better without it.

alphaomega

I can only offer my experience which is -

I tried EVERY SINGLE possible way to keep alcohol in my life. I thought I loved it. And I most certainly believed I NEEDED it to, as Prince says, "Get through this thing called life".

I watched my father, who was a wise and incredible human being, drink himself into a massive heart attack. Greater men have not been afforded the gift of sobriety. And sobriety, true sobriety, (not the shenanigans I played around with for decades) can only be described as a gift.

But herein lies the clincher - you have to come to that special place in your own way, in your own time. It can not be forced upon you, it can not be wished upon you. It is almost this before and after moment, where you know that no amount of drinking games you play with yourself is going to solve the never ending misery that alcohol brings with it.

The buzz becomes no longer worth the pain. No recipe or formulation will stop the misery.

Once the downward spiral commences, it just gets deeper and deeper.

My very best wishes to you on your journey...

malcolmsloan

"A period of abstinence does not lead to control." I think there is a ton of truth and wisdom to ReadyAtLast's comment here. It took me about 25 years to realize this.
I even went a year and a half without drinking once: did not lead to control. Well, actually, it lead to about a month of "moderate" drinking, during which time I was like a kid riding his bike with no hands, excited, "Look, mom, I'm a normal drinker!" But it only took about a month to go back to where I was, to crash my bike. When I finally realized, really internalized, this concept, I was able to start making some positive decisions for myself.

Lance40

What a wonderful comment. I've never thought of it this way before, but it's such a sobering reality check that really gives perspective.

Grubby: I spent quite a bit of time at the stage you are at, and in my own journey that was a "negotiation" phase on my journey to accepting that I had a real problem that required that I stop drinking - one day at a time.

soberbythesea

For me, I know that there is absolutely no way I could ever drink "normally" or "socially" again. And I think you have to ask yourself, too: is that actually what you want? Whenever I tried to have that mythical "glass or two" of wine with dinner, I failed, because when I was honest with myself I knew that wasn't truly what I wanted. What I wanted was to drink as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. And THAT sure never worked out for me.

Nonsensical

I used to do my 'casual' drinking on Tuesdays - but that's only because I was still wearing the same clothes I had put on the prior Saturday.

Mizzuno

I am going to answer these questions in order with short answers:

1) No

2)Each person is different and the leveling may take some time. You may be an energetic person in general.

3) I do not know much about kindling and so I can not answer this.

4) Genetics can certainly play a role. However, this is not the one shoe fits all approach. Just the fact that you are aware of and know of your family history puts you in a position to really think about your road and where you want to walk.

5) Dr. Google is not helpful in this situation. If I can be so bold as to say, please refrain from looking up "potential" diseases and continue on with your mission.

Just the fact that you are questioning your drinking and laying it all out says a lot. This forum has been a great tool to use for my recovery efforts. Welcome Aboard!

ReadyAtLast

It's actually Dee's quote -sadly I can't take the credit