tippy32

I do know deep down that my only option is quitting forever. That doesn't stop me from trying to convince myself that I'm not that bad and can have a glass of wine. I wait it out knowing that I need to beat those thoughts. I need to break the cycle of self pity. I keep feeling sorry for myself for having to give it up. And then beating myself up for not being able to have controlled it better. Rewarding myself with food instead of alcohol. One week is not very long. I know it does get better. I've always been so strong. When something happens to me I've always been able to be positive and put the self pity behind me. I keep putting off things like chores because I'm focusing so much on my recovery. Telling myself I don't need to do normal activities because this is my focus. And babying myself for comfort I guess. These have never been part of my personality before and I have always been so strong. I was very, very hurt by two of my best friends. Both have encouraged me to quit drinking quite frequently. Neither of them being drinkers themselves. I was definitely looking for a pat on the back and encouragement (never have been like that before mind u) when I told them both I made it several days without drinking. Their responses were similar. That's not hard? What do u mean withdrawals? Mind it we are all in our mid 30's. My boyfriend is supportive. He's the only guy I've dated who hasn't been a drinker. I have one friend who isn't still a drinker who is supportive. I keep going back and forth between self pity and loss and then beating myself up for not being strong enough to beat the self pity and the addiction at the same time. Has anyone ever done this? What can I do to stop the cycle and start functioning better. I know that I'll face the desire to drink to deal with problems and the desire to drink to reward myself and the desire to drink because "I don't have a problem"... But how do I move on from the loss? Do I make a list of all the bad things alcohol has done to me? Does focusing on bad past mistakes prevent future relapses or does focusing on negativity result in more self pity. I don't even really know what kind of advice I'm asking for here. Maybe someone has gone threw similar issues and can tell me it does get better. I feel so pathetic for being so vulnerable. What do I do to suck it up and move on with the fact that I don't have any choice but to quit forever and it's not only the best choice but the only choice...

gleefan

Congratulations on your week of sobriety. We all know that every hour and day is hard won early on.

Good for you for seeking support to help you stay off of alcohol. I had so many questions and felt so lost when I first found SR. Posting in my quit class gave me a place to write my feelings and hear from other people going through the same process. People who are going through it or who have been through it understand each other in a way that others in our lives may not. Check out the class of March 2014 thread.

You'll find lots of good support here.

Kissimee54

How do I cope? That's the $64,000 question. Here are a few suggestions that have helped me and not to say I don't backslide, but you could try them; journaling, meditating, posting on SR and other sites, phone calls, meetings etc. Hope this helps.

Mountainmanbob

that's true -- but what a great start

until we have longer sobriety time
we need to recognize that most will not be that impressed
or even understand the escape from the liquid devil
have no fears
all will look much better to you in short time
the main thing that I have found for us drunks to do is
just don't drink today
I know - I know - sounds so rinky dink in a way
but
this is exactly how we achieve years of sobriety

in the beginning for me sobering up
I could not function properly for several months
I was a beaten up old drunk
there was even Recovery for me once I stopped drinking

Mountainman

Nonsensical

Give it about 90 days and you'll realize that your only option is to live sober.

When my thinking changed from being focused on what I was losing to being focused on what I was gaining, I was free.

You can do this.

Raider

I'm with mountainman, I can only look to today. Don't even tell me I can never drink again in my whole life. I can't deal with that, I won't deal with that. I just want to get through today. I'll think about tomorrow when it gets here. I don't know another way to deal with this. It's too big for me to eat the whole chunk at one time.

jdooner

Early one its one step in front of the other. I doubt many Egyptians thought about the work ahead when building a pyramid foundation. They did it one stone at a time. As they got half way up I am sure some started to realize how far they have come and how it was a way of life. Sobriety is the same way - don't bight off more than you can chew in the early days.

Joe Nerv

Without AA, especially in the beginning, I wouldn't have been able to cope or stay sober. People enter sobriety at all different stages of alcoholism and drug addiction. Some of us get and stay sober with very little assistance, others need all the help they can get. I fell into the latter category, and 30 sober years later I have absolutely no regrets about the path I took. Dove completely into AA my first few years, and it set me on an awesome journey back to life. I go now to about 1 meeting a week, because I want to, not because I have to. Spent a lot of sober time not going to meetings at all, but my life is much richer when I do.

least

Have you considered seeing a counselor? I do and have found it very helpful in managing my life. It's good to have a 'sounding board' who gives back what I say in a way that helps me understand myself.

A good counselor is worth their weight in gold, in my opinion.

tippy32

Wow, I can't thank all of you enough. I learned so much in such a small amount of time. It will all help a lot. Thank you

Kissimee54

Damn I need to take my own advice. This feeling my feelings stuff is hard. I'm trying to do this and it hurts!! Can't go back to the status quo.

seanie1888

Your doing good.
Stick at it.
Best wishes

Anna

And, check out our Book List Sticky at the top of this forum. There are so many great books that will help you as you walk through your recovery journey.