dh22

I don't know why I thought drinking on Friday night would be harmless. I had 2 months soberand just threw it out the window. Getting sober last time was a real struggle and now im right back where i started. My fiance is now beyond fed up with my antics and im about to lose it all. I'm trying to pick myself up from this but I feel so ashamed and low and Ive been drinking non stop since Friday in an attempt to shut it all off. I don't want to give up but I feel like I may never beet this.....

soberlife123

From what I've read here, relapse is part of the process, and you get closer every time. I relapsed last weekend after only a few days sober, and also the month before after a week. I'm determined to make it this time and you can too!

KateL

Don't beat yourself up. It is a disappointment and can take a few tries as it did in my case, but you can do it xxxxx

Nonsensical

I spent 25 years believing the lies my addiction told me. "Next time will be different" was one of our favorites.

Sober time is never thrown out the window. You can't undo sober time any more than you can undo drunk time.

You had two months of sober time. You planned to have more. Your plan didn't work. Fix the plan.

You can do this.

12mancan

You made it two months! That's great, more than I've been able to do.. so far. Just get back to it and keep moving forward!

CAPTAINZING2000

This is from chapter 11 of Alcoholics Anonymous


Chapter 11

A VISION FOR YOU



FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!

Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drink-
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seeks

I second Nonsensical, sober time cannot be undone. You are doing this for you, you know you can do two months. Learn from it, change the perspective from a negative to an opportunity to identify why it happened and maybe that can help with a new plan.

You got this!

Mizzuno

I relapsed many many times. The only way out is to get off the ride. For me, it took massive loss and a whole ton of pain to get to where I am now. You can do this. One day at a time. One minute at a time. Dont give up.

Raider

Get back on that horse 🏇🏇🏇🏇🏇

gleefan

I told myself many, many times that I could handle it. Lots of us thought so. You're here on SR. You're looking for help. You want sobriety. You can do it.

dh22

Thank you all for your support. I know my thinking is really sick right now. I'm trying to not give my negative thoughts much credit. I know that these feelings will ease with each sober day. I'm parked outside the triangle club waiting for the noon meeting to start. I love this meeting, and i love AA. I can't keep sitting around wallowing in my self pitty, or I will drink again. Maybe I'll get off my butt and get a sponsor while im at it. This relapse has shown me that if I put in a half ass attempt at my sobriety I'm sure to fail. I won't forget or ignore this experience...I'll learn from it and use it as a reminder. I don't want to get sober again. It sucks! I want to BE sober!

FreeOwl

get back on the path, dust yourself off, view this as a lesson and step forward with resolve to tighten up your plan.

A relapse is a sign we weren't doing enough, weren't fully giving in, were not totally ready to accept our powerlessness or otherwise were 'missing something' in our recovery.

Ask yourself what it is you were missing.

Then - even if you doubt it all the way to the end of the earth - have the guts to ask for help from whatever other power or force may be out there. Just a simple "help me" in the morning and "thank you" at bedtime is enough to begin.....

you can get free of this.

PurpleKnight

We can't change the past, only the future.

Adjust your plan, doing the same thing will only lead to the same outcome, so you need to change something about your lifestyle/routine.

Keep going at it, you'll get there!!

least

Relapse is NOT part of recovery, it's part of addiction. Relapse is not inevitable, but it happens a lot.

Don't give up. Try something new for your recovery. Go back to AA if that helped you before. Let people know you need help.

dh22

I don't want relapse to be a part of my recovery any longer. I've had so many "sobriety dates" that I've lost track. The longests I've gone is 6 months. I know I need to do something different this time....I'm trying to ignore the thoughts that say I'm destined to fail and so there is no use even trying. I know that's not true. Its crazy that I can go from being 2 months sober and happy to feeling absolutely hopeless in just a few days....I cannot allow this to happen again...

tobiano22

"Your plan didn't work. Fix the plan." .... f*ing perfection. Love it!

Agricola

All you have to decide is how much you want to lose before you stay sober.

For me, that was coming to the realization that I myself was going to die (very likely by killing myself) if I continued drinking. Ultimately for me, the decision to stop drinking at first had to be a purely selfish one. Self preservation.