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Old 03-05-2014, 08:59 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Is this Alcoholism


I lied to myself all last week. I said that I wouldn't have a drink at the weekend, in fact the thought of a drink would have made me sick, but I did, and I hate this feeling.

I feel so bad after drinking, anxious, intrusive thoughts, blackouts, chronic insomnia, crippling depression, and Irritable bowel syndrome, but that's the least of my worries.

Why can't I stop? I just want my life back, to be panic free, to laugh, to sleep. I don't feel addicted. I drink less that ppl I go out drinking with.

What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
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Old 03-05-2014, 09:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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sounds pretty much like what I experienced for a long, long time.

Some days I am soundly in the camp that it is TOTALLY alcoholism.

Some days.... I just don't know whether 'alcoholism' or some other term... but I do firmly know this;

Whatever it is, whatever the label, it is not a cycle that serves me, nor my loved ones, nor the world around me.

That's why I choose the path of sobriety and why I go to AA and why I'm working the steps and coming here and striving to live the best life I can free of booze because it's VERY clear that is a better path for me.

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Old 03-05-2014, 09:08 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I used that label on myself to signal what I was up against. I experience a lot of what is going on with you. It's not that you can't get off the cycle. You just haven't found what works for you.
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Old 03-05-2014, 09:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
I kept looking at my drinking to find a definition of what kind of drinker I was. When I tried to quit I learned what kind of drinker I was...the addicted kind.

I wouldn't get lost in the definition. Alcohol is a problem or you wouldn't be quitting. You want to quit and you can't. That's a problem too.

Physical dependance can be addressed with detox. Staying quit takes recovery. Recovery from alcoholism is addressed in the AA Big Book, available online. Why don't you read it and see what rings true for you?
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Old 03-05-2014, 01:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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If alcohol is causing you this much misery it's time to change things for a happier life.

If that means being Sober then that's the answer!!
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Old 03-05-2014, 01:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
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No one can diagnose you as "alcoholic". But by your post, it seems to be bringing you a certain degree of misery. You may want to give sobriety a go. It's not easy but bunches of people have done it.
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Old 03-05-2014, 01:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I am still wondering what to call myself, too. What I do know about myself is that I have tons of regrets over my behavior while drinking. I have had the need to drink every night for several years. But, now I have stopped for 29 days and so maybe I start to think I'm not an "alcoholic", because that sounds too permanent.

Doesn't matter what you decide to call yourself. You are on this forum because there is something about your drinking that is concerning to you. Don't call yourself anything while you figure out how long you can do without it. Maybe that will be forever and it won't matter what label you chose or didn't choose.
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Old 03-05-2014, 01:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I've wanted to stop for years, and seen as it's lent I will have a go and see if I can do the 40-days!
I know I would be happier w/out alcohol, I'll just have to learn to say no.
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Old 03-05-2014, 01:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I don't use any label.I just know my life,for me, is better without alcohol in it.
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Old 03-05-2014, 01:41 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I'll just have to learn to say no.
It's much easier to avoid drinking situations early on then you don't hvae people offering you beer and you don't have to keep saying no
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Old 03-05-2014, 02:07 PM   #11 (permalink)
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The label is really not so important.

Are you ready to stop drinking for good? If so, you are in the right place.
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Old 03-05-2014, 02:10 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I hope the support here can help you stop drinking for good.
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Old 03-05-2014, 02:24 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpoon View Post
I lied to myself .
I feel so bad after drinking, anxious, intrusive thoughts, blackouts, chronic insomnia, crippling depression, and Irritable bowel syndrome, but that's the least of my worries.

Why can't I stop? I just want my life back, to be panic free, to laugh, to sleep. I don't feel addicted. I drink less that ppl I go out drinking with.

What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
It sounds to me that it's difficult to accept the fact that you can't drink in safety. Forget the labels and get honest about your drinking. Hard line, I know but a lot of times that gets our attention before we end up shortly in the grave. Alcohol has different effects on each of us so comparing is a waste of time and often wishful thinking.
In the beginning this made sense to me: "If we don't pick up the first drink we don't have to get sober again."

Hang on and keep coming, it will get better.

BE WELL
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AA IS NOT A SENTENCE, ITíS A REPRIEVE.

ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.

I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.

WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.

WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
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Old 03-05-2014, 02:31 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by FindTheAnswer View Post
I am still wondering what to call myself, too. What I do know about myself is that I have tons of regrets over my behavior while drinking. I have had the need to drink every night for several years. But, now I have stopped for 29 days and so maybe I start to think I'm not an "alcoholic", because that sounds too permanent.
.
In all my years in recovery I never heard of anyone that was cured of alcoholism. Sober and recovering, yes, but never cured so it is permanent if we like it or not.

BE WELL
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AA IS NOT A SENTENCE, ITíS A REPRIEVE.

ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.

I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.

WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.

WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
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