Newbie saying hello...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Lincoln, England.
Posts: 1
Newbie saying hello...
Hi folks, I'm Jay from Lincoln, England. I guess I have had a problem with alcohol for the last 8 or 9 years. Prior to my 'problem drinking' started, I very rarely drank alcohol. However, I was quite a regular cannabis user for about 7 years. I moved away from the area I had grown up, and that stopped my cannabis use (mainly as I lived in a remote village and had no idea where to buy it!) but then, I started to drink. In my mind, I thought, well its legal. Surely that's better for me? How wrong I could have been...
The drinking started moderately at first. A few beers in the evening after work. Then a few more when I got home. gradually increasing, until I allowed my drinking to ruin most of the good things I had. Lost my driving licence, ruined relationships (friends and partners) and eventually sacked from my job due to being signed off work long term by my GP with depression.
I cannot claim to be sober currently. My recent consumption is around 200 units a week. Around 4 years ago it was about 150 units a week, and has at times gone up to 300 a week. I have tried quitting many times. Usually I can barely manage 2 days. My best in the last 5 years is 8 days sober. I know it takes strength, belief and willpower. I find the body tremors, sweats, anxiety and insomnia too much to cope with mostly, so I just give in and get some drink.
I am on here to read other peoples views, experiences, thoughts and feelings, and share some of my own. I feel so isolated in this life and as if no one understands. I want a better, happier and healthier life, and I know I can get my pride, confidence and self respect back once I rid myself of this poison.
I apologise if that was a bit long. And if you managed to stay awake, thanks for reading/listening!
Cheers,
Jamie.
The drinking started moderately at first. A few beers in the evening after work. Then a few more when I got home. gradually increasing, until I allowed my drinking to ruin most of the good things I had. Lost my driving licence, ruined relationships (friends and partners) and eventually sacked from my job due to being signed off work long term by my GP with depression.
I cannot claim to be sober currently. My recent consumption is around 200 units a week. Around 4 years ago it was about 150 units a week, and has at times gone up to 300 a week. I have tried quitting many times. Usually I can barely manage 2 days. My best in the last 5 years is 8 days sober. I know it takes strength, belief and willpower. I find the body tremors, sweats, anxiety and insomnia too much to cope with mostly, so I just give in and get some drink.
I am on here to read other peoples views, experiences, thoughts and feelings, and share some of my own. I feel so isolated in this life and as if no one understands. I want a better, happier and healthier life, and I know I can get my pride, confidence and self respect back once I rid myself of this poison.
I apologise if that was a bit long. And if you managed to stay awake, thanks for reading/listening!
Cheers,
Jamie.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
"I am on here to read other peoples views, experiences, thoughts and feelings, and share some of my own. I feel so isolated in this life and as if no one understands. I want a better, happier and healthier life, and I know I can get my pride, confidence and self respect back once I rid myself of this poison."
Isolation is a very common result of heavy drinking for various reasons. The result of my sobriety is to feel comfortable in my own skin. That started with me being honest about my drinking and accepting the fact that the only way for me to get sober was not picking up the first drink each day. Today reading posts here is a great remember when for me along with AA meetings. I needed to ask for help and KEEP COMING.
BE WELL
Isolation is a very common result of heavy drinking for various reasons. The result of my sobriety is to feel comfortable in my own skin. That started with me being honest about my drinking and accepting the fact that the only way for me to get sober was not picking up the first drink each day. Today reading posts here is a great remember when for me along with AA meetings. I needed to ask for help and KEEP COMING.
BE WELL
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi jampots, your post wasn't too long in fact quite short for a first post. I know myself how alcohol ruins your self-esteem and poisons body and mind.
I'm not sure what you mean by 200 'units'. In Australia a unit is (I think,) 100ml of wine, a lite beer, a nip of spirits). If it's the same in the UK then you're a very heavy drinker and I think you'd need medical help to detox, both to make it easier in your mind and to monitor you for harmful side effects of stopping suddenly.
The first step would be to see your doctor and talk honestly about how much you drink, and tell him you want to stop. Also investigate AA meetings in your area, maybe find other means of support. I won't pretend it will be easy, but it's wonderful if you succeed.
Stay on SR as well where you'll get all the support you could want.
I'm not sure what you mean by 200 'units'. In Australia a unit is (I think,) 100ml of wine, a lite beer, a nip of spirits). If it's the same in the UK then you're a very heavy drinker and I think you'd need medical help to detox, both to make it easier in your mind and to monitor you for harmful side effects of stopping suddenly.
The first step would be to see your doctor and talk honestly about how much you drink, and tell him you want to stop. Also investigate AA meetings in your area, maybe find other means of support. I won't pretend it will be easy, but it's wonderful if you succeed.
Stay on SR as well where you'll get all the support you could want.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Welcome to SR! I would strongly recommend a treatment program. You can go online and see what is available in your area for outpatient treatment. That might include a session of seeing an addictions specialist every week, or it might include a group, it might include medication.
You might start with a doctor appointment and evaluate your liver levels. And, you might consider talking with your doctor about your drinking. He or she might be able to refer you to a free or low cost program.
Completely free of cost is AA, it's faith based but people who are hardly religious find that they are comfortable in AA. There are also non faith-based programs like RR.
I think the isolation you feel could be overcome with one of these programs.
I found that a program taught me about alcoholism, despite being an alcoholic I didn't know anything about it, and gave me a tremendous amount of structure and support.
You might start with a doctor appointment and evaluate your liver levels. And, you might consider talking with your doctor about your drinking. He or she might be able to refer you to a free or low cost program.
Completely free of cost is AA, it's faith based but people who are hardly religious find that they are comfortable in AA. There are also non faith-based programs like RR.
I think the isolation you feel could be overcome with one of these programs.
I found that a program taught me about alcoholism, despite being an alcoholic I didn't know anything about it, and gave me a tremendous amount of structure and support.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 2
Hi Jampots -- you'll know when it's time to seek another source of ease and comfort besides what a drink can offer you. Unfortunately, most of us had to get to a pretty bad spot for us to seek that alternative.
Since I didn't drink every day, and since I didn't "need" alcohol to function, I used to just tell myself and others that I was a "binge drinker" -- that I didn't need it, only that when I would drink, I'd ("oopsies!") sometimes have too much. I didn't get a DWI, I didn't lose a job, I wasn't a street-dweller ... I'd just have a bit too much and have some unpleasant consequences every now and then.
I'd tried AA about 9 years prior and thought it was stupid -- that there was no way I could or wanted to commit to quitting drinking for the rest of my life, so what was the use anyway?
Nine years later, my life had indeed become unmanageable, if for no other reason than my depression had reached new lows. My hangovers were the absolute pits of depression, and one morning, I didn't know how I could feel any worse about myself: Anxious, afraid, desperate, pitiful. I felt black inside, despite having a great job with tons of money, a wonderful family and the "outside" life I'd worked so hard to create. That morning (and actually, quite a few times before that), none of that "outside" stuff mattered - it was just a shell covering up what felt to be an ugly, toxic mess of an inside.
So I went to an AA meeting that night. That was October 17th, 2011. Despite my contempt prior to investigation, I kept going back, and I haven't needed to have a drink since then. I still have no intention of "quitting alcohol forever;" nor do I have to. I just don't care to have a drink today, and today's all I need to concern myself with. That tiny awesome idea plus the people in AA plus the program itself have kept me from ever feeling the way I did that fateful day over two years ago.
Again, when you've had enough pain, and when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, you'll intuitively know what to do. Until then, my friend, God bless you.
Since I didn't drink every day, and since I didn't "need" alcohol to function, I used to just tell myself and others that I was a "binge drinker" -- that I didn't need it, only that when I would drink, I'd ("oopsies!") sometimes have too much. I didn't get a DWI, I didn't lose a job, I wasn't a street-dweller ... I'd just have a bit too much and have some unpleasant consequences every now and then.
I'd tried AA about 9 years prior and thought it was stupid -- that there was no way I could or wanted to commit to quitting drinking for the rest of my life, so what was the use anyway?
Nine years later, my life had indeed become unmanageable, if for no other reason than my depression had reached new lows. My hangovers were the absolute pits of depression, and one morning, I didn't know how I could feel any worse about myself: Anxious, afraid, desperate, pitiful. I felt black inside, despite having a great job with tons of money, a wonderful family and the "outside" life I'd worked so hard to create. That morning (and actually, quite a few times before that), none of that "outside" stuff mattered - it was just a shell covering up what felt to be an ugly, toxic mess of an inside.
So I went to an AA meeting that night. That was October 17th, 2011. Despite my contempt prior to investigation, I kept going back, and I haven't needed to have a drink since then. I still have no intention of "quitting alcohol forever;" nor do I have to. I just don't care to have a drink today, and today's all I need to concern myself with. That tiny awesome idea plus the people in AA plus the program itself have kept me from ever feeling the way I did that fateful day over two years ago.
Again, when you've had enough pain, and when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, you'll intuitively know what to do. Until then, my friend, God bless you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: CT
Posts: 27
Welcome Jampots, sounds like you substituted one addiction for another, as we commonly do.
I agree with FeelingGreat and Littlefish about seeing your Dr. and getting into a detox program (detoxing yourself can be very dangerous) and getting into some program like A.A.
One Day At A Time
I agree with FeelingGreat and Littlefish about seeing your Dr. and getting into a detox program (detoxing yourself can be very dangerous) and getting into some program like A.A.
One Day At A Time
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 85
Hi Jampots,
Thanks for a great, honest post! It sounds like you fell pretty hard into the trap set by alcohol. I had been heading that way myself. I quit in February and so far I'm feeling very much better in almost every way.
I think AA would be a great place for you to find some support to help you find your way out of the trap. It's never too late if you can realize what's happening to you and take steps to reverse your behavior.
Good luck and keep posting your experiences here! You are a good writer!
Thanks for a great, honest post! It sounds like you fell pretty hard into the trap set by alcohol. I had been heading that way myself. I quit in February and so far I'm feeling very much better in almost every way.
I think AA would be a great place for you to find some support to help you find your way out of the trap. It's never too late if you can realize what's happening to you and take steps to reverse your behavior.
Good luck and keep posting your experiences here! You are a good writer!
RaleighSoxFan
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 105
AA is good, I'd also looking into getting an alcohol assessment locally. They can recommend other forms of treatment. I'm doing 90 hours of outpatient treatments. 3 3 hour sessions a week. Atleast 1 aa meeting. plus using this site and sponsors. Lots of ways to succeed. Use as many as u need. Welcome & good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Jamie, welcome to the Forum!! 
200/300 units a week is massive, (for anyone not in the UK/Ireland, approx 40 units per litre of 40% proof spirits), you can't detox this on your own, as you said you generally end up drinking again due to the withdrawals becoming too much.
I think checking in with a doctor to do it safely is the best way forward, plus getting something to get you through may be needed, but there are loads of people that have done the same and have come out the other side Sober!!
200/300 units a week is massive, (for anyone not in the UK/Ireland, approx 40 units per litre of 40% proof spirits), you can't detox this on your own, as you said you generally end up drinking again due to the withdrawals becoming too much.
I think checking in with a doctor to do it safely is the best way forward, plus getting something to get you through may be needed, but there are loads of people that have done the same and have come out the other side Sober!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Welcome jampots!
Folks come to SR with varied amounts of usage and frequency, from different backgrounds, from different corners of the world, with different "rock bottoms", using different programs of recovery with the same intention: to stop drinking or using.
Get some medical advice on how to detox and please keep coming back here to read and post, to gain and give support.
I came here desperate and afraid, and the support I've received here has made it possible for me to have sober days.
Folks come to SR with varied amounts of usage and frequency, from different backgrounds, from different corners of the world, with different "rock bottoms", using different programs of recovery with the same intention: to stop drinking or using.
Get some medical advice on how to detox and please keep coming back here to read and post, to gain and give support.
I came here desperate and afraid, and the support I've received here has made it possible for me to have sober days.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 12
Hello Jamie, I can really relate to you. First and foremost it's great that you have recognised that you have a serious problem with drinking, most alcoholics reach pretty much rock bottom before they admit it to themselves. 200-300 units a week is a massive amount and you will need some help with detox, I am no expert on the subject but have read extensively on alcoholism.
Two years ago I went to my doctors because I was worried about my consumption, I had gradually over the years become dependant on 50-75 units a week of whisky, I would only drink late on an evening, to help me sleep I thought, I also was worried that the amount of drinks was increasing month by month, and realised I needed some help, so went to have a chat with the doctor.
Anyway the doctor prescribed 5mg a day of diazepam to be taken each evening with a scotch, I started with 30ml of scotch and a tablet each night, the amount of scotch was reduced over a period of two weeks to zero, I continued with the diazepam for a further week. This helped massively with any withdrawal symptoms, apart from tiredness due to the body's adjustment to less drink I didn't have any other problems. I gave up drinking for about three months and felt great...then the mistake came when I thought I could become a social drinker again.
This time I am giving up by tapering my drinks off, I started with 100ml a night from last Wednesday and am about to drop to 75ml.I have got some diazepam should I experience any real problems. Giving up huge amounts of alcohol can be very dangerous and I wouldn't advise anyone to go it alone, the amount you are using you really do require some medical help, the doctor was great with me, I didn't feel he was pointing his finger and found him very understanding. The diazepam really did help with any symptoms.
Last Wednesday I cut back to 100ml of whisky and had a very bad night of hot sweats and a sleepless night, the symptoms can be a whole lot worse...at the very least please take some time to read some articles on alcohol withdrawal, there's loads on the net, also don't be afraid to reach out for help, on the amount you are drinking you really do need some, BUT you have taken the first and most important step in realising your drinking has got to a very serious problem. There is the help out there, you are not alone.
Two years ago I went to my doctors because I was worried about my consumption, I had gradually over the years become dependant on 50-75 units a week of whisky, I would only drink late on an evening, to help me sleep I thought, I also was worried that the amount of drinks was increasing month by month, and realised I needed some help, so went to have a chat with the doctor.
Anyway the doctor prescribed 5mg a day of diazepam to be taken each evening with a scotch, I started with 30ml of scotch and a tablet each night, the amount of scotch was reduced over a period of two weeks to zero, I continued with the diazepam for a further week. This helped massively with any withdrawal symptoms, apart from tiredness due to the body's adjustment to less drink I didn't have any other problems. I gave up drinking for about three months and felt great...then the mistake came when I thought I could become a social drinker again.
This time I am giving up by tapering my drinks off, I started with 100ml a night from last Wednesday and am about to drop to 75ml.I have got some diazepam should I experience any real problems. Giving up huge amounts of alcohol can be very dangerous and I wouldn't advise anyone to go it alone, the amount you are using you really do require some medical help, the doctor was great with me, I didn't feel he was pointing his finger and found him very understanding. The diazepam really did help with any symptoms.
Last Wednesday I cut back to 100ml of whisky and had a very bad night of hot sweats and a sleepless night, the symptoms can be a whole lot worse...at the very least please take some time to read some articles on alcohol withdrawal, there's loads on the net, also don't be afraid to reach out for help, on the amount you are drinking you really do need some, BUT you have taken the first and most important step in realising your drinking has got to a very serious problem. There is the help out there, you are not alone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Hi and welcome Jamie
I hope you'll find that posting here regularly will help you change things.
If it does so much the better...if not you'll have great ideas on what else to do
why not join our Class of March support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-3.html
D
I hope you'll find that posting here regularly will help you change things.
If it does so much the better...if not you'll have great ideas on what else to do
why not join our Class of March support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-3.html
D
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