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Fighting the Addictive Voice

Old 03-01-2014, 05:37 PM
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Fighting the Addictive Voice

I am 22 days sober today. I've been feeling great in the mornings, but Saturday nights are a big trigger.The addictive voice was strong tonight, stating its argument that I could go out and not drink, or that I could moderate...which has never worked for me in the past. I drove home from work with tentative plans, and canceled them as soon as I got home. Its so easy to forget what brings me to wanting sobriety after taking some space from the drink. I am reminding myself of all the embarrassment and misery it brought me...leaving me broke, jobless, and emotionally depleted. Are the people who are out drinking tonight that happy anyway?
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:42 PM
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You will lose if you bargain with "the voice". The voice simply tries to keep the door open. Its too early in your sobriety to put yourself in risky situations. Good for you for sticking to your guns!
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:44 PM
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Keep on fighting it, or ignoring it, until it goes away.
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:54 PM
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It breaks through like an impulse at times. I have to step back and take a breather, get back to my senses. The fact that I considered it at all is raising a red flag for me to get myself in check.
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Old 03-01-2014, 06:11 PM
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Yup, play the tape forward to tomorrow morning: How will those who were out drinking feel and what kind of a day will they have? And how will you be feeling tomorrow after not drinking? Good job keeping that AV in check.
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Old 03-01-2014, 07:06 PM
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Sounds like you are doing just fine, Compass1. The ability to identify the AV and separate it from the rest of the thoughts that come flying into your conscious/subconscious is a powerful and effective tool to remain sober once you have decided to quit drinking. Recognizing the AV for what it is forms an actual technique for maintaining sobriety, with the catchy name of Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (who knew).

There is lots of discussion of this and other tools for sobriety over in the Secular Connections/ forum. There is lots of support there for you too.

Onward!
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Old 03-01-2014, 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Compass1 View Post
It breaks through like an impulse at times. I have to step back and take a breather, get back to my senses. The fact that I considered it at all is raising a red flag for me to get myself in check.
Good job, this thought process will serve you well. And congrats on 22 days.
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Old 03-01-2014, 07:14 PM
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21 days. Excellent work!!!
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Old 03-01-2014, 07:21 PM
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Good job on your 22 days and toughing it out today.

Those people who are out tonight think they are having a good time until they wake up tomorrow. Then they will look at how much they spent and have to figure out which bill not to pay, or regret who they woke up with, or what they did whilst drunk, what they said... And the list goes on and on.

Hang on strong and remember those important reasons you gave for why sobriety rules over booze.
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Old 03-01-2014, 07:48 PM
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Compass,
What an inspiration you are to me right now! I am 17 minutes away from 43 hours of sobriety, and it's killing me...and it's Saturday night! Everyone, really, what an inspiration you all are! Being new to this, I'd never heard the term AV. Kind of helps to give it a name.
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Old 03-01-2014, 07:54 PM
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That voice can be so rational. It can justify a drink because of just about anything. As you said "embarrassment and misery it brought me...leaving me broke, jobless, and emotionally depleted" You were strong to carve out a space to be sober instead of going out.

Are people happier who are out there drinking? Big question. I don't think drugs make people happier. They just change perception. We're as happy as we are. My opinion you understand.
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Old 03-01-2014, 08:00 PM
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any time I hear negative in my thoughts, its the AV. The AV hopes you believe it's message resulting in drinking. What is important to know is these messages are lies. The truth is only manifested through your abilities in your sobriety.
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Old 03-01-2014, 08:12 PM
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It's amazing that our own brains lie to us. The human brain is a complex place to live.
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Old 03-01-2014, 08:32 PM
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Congrats

I had a couple days of close calls , the attitude of "f it" I'm getting a fifth and more then I'm sitting down and drinking it all. Prior to that , I cleaned out my phone contacts of trigger people and other life items including parts of family.
I need to to get through this, it may be temporary but needed 26 days in.
That process sucks. A couple days later, I made it. I found its tough.
But doable , go to a meeting, do some chores,sr. Eat ice cream and Pringles.
No drinky= more dooy
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Old 03-01-2014, 09:05 PM
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Hi Compass,
I had my share of those too. It helped me to kind of be prepared for old habits and new experiences. I found that I needed to change up a few things at first. Like happy hour. That was a big one for me in the beginning. So I just planned on my brain probably telling me it was drinking time around then. Heaven knows I trained it to do it. And it sounds like you changed it up. That's good. So now you know Saturdays might be tricky for awhile. Change the game. Plan on it and have a plan to choose to do different.

A new experience did it to me too. If I tried to do something different, my brain would go into have a drink. I chalked that up to just being nervous. Most people get nervous when they do something new. Most people do it anyway and don't need a drink to change or hide the fear. I fell into the second crowd unfortunately. Those who did.

But the good news was the more I kept changing the game up and the farther I got away from alcohol, the less it became an issue. Now, 5:00pm isn't anything but 5:00pm and if I do something new I just tell myself it's okay to be nervous. I won't die if I'm scared. It's pretty normal to be nervous on first anythings. I'm even past that now. I actually just get excited about new which I've found feels a little similar to scared. Only it's better.

Awesome job on the 22 days! You can do it! You are doing it!

There may be some happy people out there doing it tonight. I don't know. They can do what works for them. I do know there are happy people not doing it though. I'm one.

Welcome!
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Old 03-02-2014, 07:10 AM
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Woke up at 8:30am, happy and grateful to be sober. I plan to have a productive day. The alcohol takes that away from me. Its not worth it. I hope I can keep this state of mind. The addictive voice has gotten clever with me in the past. I won last nights debate, but I know there will be more.

360 - It is all about habits. I'm hoping to forge some new ones and continue to put more and more distance between myself and the drink.
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Old 03-02-2014, 07:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Compass1 View Post
I am 22 days sober today. I've been feeling great in the mornings, but Saturday nights are a big trigger.The addictive voice was strong tonight, stating its argument that I could go out and not drink, or that I could moderate...which has never worked for me in the past. I drove home from work with tentative plans, and canceled them as soon as I got home. Its so easy to forget what brings me to wanting sobriety after taking some space from the drink. I am reminding myself of all the embarrassment and misery it brought me...leaving me broke, jobless, and emotionally depleted. Are the people who are out drinking tonight that happy anyway?


This is how to stay sober. I applaud your decision!
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Old 03-02-2014, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Compass1 View Post
Woke up at 8:30am, happy and grateful to be sober. I plan to have a productive day. The alcohol takes that away from me. Its not worth it. I hope I can keep this state of mind. The addictive voice has gotten clever with me in the past. I won last nights debate, but I know there will be more.

360 - It is all about habits. I'm hoping to forge some new ones and continue to put more and more distance between myself and the drink.
Each success like this one can be a stronger foundation in preparation for the next situation.

May I offer another way of thinking about this AV you are speaking about? It says nothing, absolutely nothing, that doesn't lead back to drinking. It even tries to undermine your resolve and cause you to doubt yourself. Re-read your quote above, and see what I am talking about here.

You can stop debating, stop arguing, stop fighting with this AV by simply understanding it is not you. Once you know you will not drink again, this AV is just noise. Just like that GF you are finally done with - those txts or ph calls don't require you do act or react anymore. You are done.

The AV will come up again from time to time, in times of stress or even in times of celebration, it doesn't really care which. But it lost the power to force you to act on it once you decided to quit drinking. You have taken the power from your AV and claimed it for yourself, by simply saying so.

If there is wiggle room in your decision to quit, the AV can make a case. 'Sure, you say that now, but you are going to drink someday, so let's get started right now. Who do you think you are kidding, anyway?'.

If your decision to quit is airtight, your AV can only wriggle and whine helplessly. 'Stop trying to make alcohol happen. It's not going to happen. Ever.'
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Old 03-02-2014, 03:00 PM
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hey man

the av is a ruthless, manipulative and nasty little so and so........

but it has no legs, arms, mouth or anything, except the desire to destroy us.

so it needs to be starved out, drug out and shot in a back alley.....same way it would treat you if it had half a chance.....

intrusive thoughts from the critter can last for months.....

therefore, remember what it has taken from you, and daily, draw your sword and meet it on the field of combat..

peace

v
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