zerothehero

There is an interesting variety of responses here. I went through a short period of sadness realizing I really have no male friends. Beyond wife and family, I've found myself quite alone. The truth is, though, that I've been quite alone all along. I wasn't an a-hole when I drank, but I was aloof and self-absorbed. On top of that, I didn't want to be real friends with the people I drank with cuz they were needy, irresponsible, and a pain in the butt. With friends like that, who needs friends, right? I get together and play music with folks, but it's all about the music.

So, having no friends has been a choice. I'm just accepting that and trying new things, not to try to make new friends, but to create a new life, and to BE a new friend. I'm not out to entertain anyone, and if they think I'm a bore, well, as far as I'm concerned they must not be listening.

SillyString

One thing that just occurred to me while reading this, is that one of the things that attracted me to a person for "friendship" was whether or not they drank heavily. I wanted to be friends with people who shared my thirst. Someone who wouldn't judge me for it. So, now, I have many friends whose lives revolve around alcohol, far beyond what I'd call social drinking. I systematically excluded sober people from my friend pool.

Now that I don't drink anymore, I know they will do the same to me, for the same reason.

Vandermast

i have friends who know that i am a trainwreck when i drink so no

v

Solar

You know how they say if a pregnant woman drinks, the alcohol will stunt the baby's growth? Well, I also find that alcohol stunts your growth when you're an adult. Many of my former drinking friends are still running the same routines they've been running for as long as I can remember - going to the same hangouts with the same people and buying the same drinks from the same bartenders. They're change-resistant that way... so your abruptly changing your own habits has probably thrown them for a loop.

If you have true friends among your old group - and you might, and that's great - I think that once they get used to your change, and the fact that you're not going to get back into your old habits, they'll come around to the new you. Meanwhile, I also suggest finding new friends in new places; people who will be more interested in doing new and more interesting things than the guys in your former crew.

1newcreation

I finally saw & experienced what a real friend(s) were in late thirties(that's truly sad but better late than never). That's why I'm forever indebted to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous