| cusper | 02-28-2014 10:21 AM |
3 months sober
Ok, I am not a religious person per se, but I really feel like I have been giving a second chance at life. I really and I mean REALLY look at life differently since I have begun this journey into sobriety. I know that journey is a bit of a cliche word but it works. What I thought of being the end of drinking and didn't know that it was the beginning of living. Now I am actually making plans.
Finally the PAWS symptoms seem to be letting up or gone for the time being. I have felt really good for the last 2 weeks. That being said I have made some major changes in diet. I've gotten to the point where I don't think there is anything else to give up. I've given up caffeine, refined sugars, wheat, dairy a month ago as well. I guess my new addiction is now gum. Always gotta have an addiction. Now I know everyone says not to give too much up at the same time. However my paws symptoms felt pretty severe that I was willing to try anything to be healthy. It really has paid off. I've also started exercising which is great release for this crazy frustration I can feel. Exercising has been a great outlet... strangely enough so is having new music to go with it. As if I am forming new feelings and thoughts just by having new music and doing new things that are good for me.
I still don't crave alcohol. I have about a million memories that remind me of just how low I managed to get. I always have this fear at the back of my mind that somehow I will stop investing in myself someday. I don't think I will ever drink again but I do little things everyday to remind me never to even entertain the idea of alcohol again. I come on SR, I watch youtube documentaries, I watch random episodes of Intervention, I read about celebs
who have gone sober... anything I can get my hands on.
One thing I really have realized is that being an alcoholic really stunted my emotional/spiritual growth. I may be 38 but my maturity level is nowhere near that. I think that honesty has to be a big one. Now I am realizing that some of the things that come out of my mouth are just not true, or true for me anymore. I guess that is the new quest is to find the truth and to be honest with myself and others.
It's been a bit rocky these last few months of recovery. I feel really greatful to be here. Thank you SR for your existence. Also a big thank you from everyone on here for your posts and suggestions! | 