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Question on the word sober

Old 02-28-2014, 06:42 AM
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Question on the word sober

Hi guys, when i was signing in for the 24 hour thread today I noticed the anniversaries were for days clean and sober. My main goal is to be 100 percent honest with y'all and myself about this stuff. I smoke pot like a "normal" person (once in a while, very small amount, situation based, don't have to tell myself not to every day, etc.) as opposed to the way i drink. I do not want to offend anyone by saying I am sober if what I really mean is that I no longer drink alcohol. I don't want to receive congrats on sober days, anniversaries, etc. if its not legit, but I also like acknowledging that 12th day now is quite an accomplishment for me. Its not an issue as of today because I haven't smoked since my last drinking day.
I am so thankful for this site and I want to make sure to abide by the definitions and parameters in place here and most importantly not disrespect someone who has achieved true sobriety by misusing that word. I also don't want to split hairs if its no big deal.
Any advice appreciated!
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Old 02-28-2014, 06:44 AM
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I think most people here would say that if you're doing any sort of mood altering chemical you're not totally sober. But the decision is up to you.
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Old 02-28-2014, 07:07 AM
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"I smoke pot like a "normal" person (once in a while, very small amount, situation based, don't have to tell myself not to every day, etc.) "


hhhmmmm..... I thought I knew 'normal" people, but they don't smoke pot. I must have a misunderstanding on what "normal" people are.

for me, sober as in "of sound mind" doesn't include mind and/or mood effecting drugs not prescribed and/or taken as directed my my doctor.
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Old 02-28-2014, 07:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Longpasttime View Post
I smoke pot like a "normal" person (once in a while, very small amount, situation based, don't have to tell myself not to every day, etc.) as opposed to the way i drink.
Semantic argument aside, you might want to be careful that "normal" smoking doesn't become abuse, just like alcohol. Many of us fill one void with another substance or behavior.

I know I did. I quit using drugs in 1986, but didn't quit drinking because that wasn't my problem. 24 years later, I'm joining SR to beat my alcohol addiction.
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Old 02-28-2014, 07:31 AM
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I don't smoke pot, but I also don't have a problem with the fact that some people practice occasional or recreational use. For me, people with concerns around occasional or recreational use have valid arguments. The fact that I might become a heavy smoker once I start doesn't do violence to the reality that some people can handle it without too much difficulty.

With the ever-changing marijuana laws, we'll likely see an uptick in controlled research studies in this area which will in turn provide a more accurate and comprehensive picture of both the benefits and disadvantages of marijuana use.
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Old 02-28-2014, 07:37 AM
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I don't smoke, but I drink coffee. I hear it is mind altering too. If you want to smoke you can always say alcohol free since whatever date and be on target. I think it is something you will have to make your own choice on. I would not smoke or do drugs, but I do love my coffee.
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Old 02-28-2014, 07:43 AM
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Webster's 1828 dictionary

sober SO'BER, a. [L. sobrius. ]1. Temperate in the use of spiritous liquors; habitually temperate; as a sober man. Live a sober, righteous and godly life. 2.

sobered SO'BERED, pp. Make sober.

soberly SO'BERLY, adv. 1. Without intemperance. 2. Without enthusiasm. 3. Without intemperate passion; coolly; calmly; moderately. 4. Gravely; seriously.

soberminded SO'BERMINDED, a. Having a disposition or tempter habitually sober, calm and temperate.

soberminedness SO'BERMINEDNESS, n, Calmness; freedon from inordinate passions; habitual sobriety.

soberness SO'BERNESS, n. 1. Freedom from intoxication; temperance. 2. Gravity; seriousness. 3. Freedom from heat and passion; calmness; coolness. The soberness
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Old 02-28-2014, 07:56 AM
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The 24 hour club is just another thread no rules or regulations. We sign in for 24 hours and commit to being clean and sober. I thank you for your honesty. If you plan on smoking pot then don't sign in and commit to staying clean and sober for that 24 hours.

It is a tough question now with medical marijuana being legalized in some states.
And I also understand that people in legitimate pain need pain meds.

If you choose to continue to smoke marijuana to get high on a regular basis then I just will not list your anniversaries. But please sign into the club if you find it helpful to stay clean and sober for 24 hours. Free of alcohol and drugs.

If your goal is to be abstinent from both alcohol and drugs, please let me know your start date. I would love to post your anniversaries in the club!
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:19 AM
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To Thine Ownself Be True

I know for me I wouldn't be able to "just do a little of anything", I have the disease of more. If I'm trying to control a substance, "I won't start drinking until 12pm" or "I'll only have 1 or 2", then I know that substance is controlling me and I have a problem. The other thing about this disease is it's cunning, baffling and powerful and I know if I do pick up again that I may not start exactly like I ended up but for sure I'll end up the way I ended up or worse.

I have a friend in the program who has stage 4 cancer, he's bedridden, has been living on borrowed time and he uses marijuana for pain. I can understand that. Would I call him sober/clean? It's not for me to judge. He's on his own path and he continues to be a power of example to me and others.
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:20 AM
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Thanks for the responses. If i never drink again and smoke once a month at concerts, etc. that is 100 percent victory for me. We could argue legality (pot)/legit prescription use/caffeine etc. but thats not the point.

My question was really about integrity on this site, which is very important to me.

But please sign into the club if you find it helpful to stay clean and sober for 24 hours. Free of alcohol and drugs.

Thanks Deeker, thats what i will do! It will be most every day anyway and it is a valuable tool for me. Please don't include me in anniversaries for now.
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:36 AM
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Regardless of how you define your sobriety in a thread, i think the more important thing to concentrate on is why you are smoking pot in the first place. It's very, very common for people with addiction problems to become addicted to just about anything. Ask yourself if your smoking is somehow compensating for what you used to try and achieve through drinking ( escape, relaxation etc ).
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:47 AM
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If you're able to smoke pot and not be powerless over it, if it doesn't destroy your life, cause you to hurt others, rob you of sanity or lead you to cause wreckage of any sort, more power to you. If you are able to be yourself, not using it to run from reality, if it's not a crutch, liability or hindrance, more power to you. All of the above apply to me, but that's me. I didn't stop smoking pot and drinking to be sober, I stopped because it destroyed me and my life. I stopped because of the pain that it caused in my life. I stopped because suicide became an option.
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:59 AM
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I always used the word sober to mean that you are not consuming a product in an addictive, obsessive fashion, not that you aren't consuming at all.
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Old 02-28-2014, 03:06 PM
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I've been addicted to both pot and alcohol...giving up pot led me to abusing alcohol...(and then I started smoking again anyway).

I used both in exactly the same way - to escape reality, stress relief, social lubricant, creativity aid...

Be very careful.

D
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Old 02-28-2014, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by StevenT View Post
if it doesn't destroy your life, cause you to hurt others, rob you of sanity or lead you to cause wreckage of any sort, more power to you.
The problem is that very few people are immediately addicted or suffer obvious consequences from the beginning. There is no way of knowing where "occasional" or "recreational" use will lead until it's too late. I'd be lying if I said the prospect of getting high at the occasional concert doesn't sound attractive. But knowing where my drinking took me, I have no desire to bet my life that I can get away with it - and that's exactly what it is for this alcoholic: betting my life on it.
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Old 02-28-2014, 06:37 PM
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Despite my love for SR, I personally avoid using the word sober. I'm often not emotionally or mentally sober. I ingest caffeine and nicotine, and now I'm on prescribed psychoactive medication. I take in food that changes my brain chemistry, and I let myself get tired and hungry, which does so as well. I'll never be a truly sober person -- I just strive for sanity and peace, and I strive to remain abstinent from alcohol because I know I can't have either when I use.
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Old 02-28-2014, 08:42 PM
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Nicotine and caffeine are both mind altering drugs, and there are no regulations on here that smokers and coffee drinkers can't post sober dates.

Maybe you could post sober from alcohol dd/mm/yy when a thread or post inspires you to share a date.

Definitely keep being proud of whatever sober from alcohol date you have, that is a huge accomplishment. Congratulations

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Old 03-01-2014, 05:32 AM
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There is such a fine line here and I have read some recent posts that bring up the same question.

The replies point to the definition of sobriety and the discussion of mind altering drugs. Anyone who doesn't think that nicotine or caffeine are in the mind altering category should come and observe a morning at my house if either are absent. Then witness what happens when I get my fix.

Seriously though, I came here because I am addicted to alcohol and it was ruining my life. I also have an addiction to caffeine and nicotine that I know needs to be addressed. Right now my focus is alcohol and after 9 months I think I'm doing pretty darned good. The others are coming.

This brings up the question that since I am addressing my alcohol issues but not yet working on the nicotine and caffeine (which are mind altering, believe me) does that make me ineligible to join the 24 hour club?

This would make me pretty sad. There are days that the full reason I remained sober were because I signed up and made that commitment.

I really think this is about honesty with one's self.
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:35 AM
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I think all we can really have an opinion on is how we would handle this in our own sobriety/recovery. Personally, if I smoked pot I wouldn't consider myself sober.
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:50 AM
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I personally consider "sober" to be from alcohol and "clean" to be from drugs.

I smoke pot like 3 times a year at when I visit a couple of old friends and probably will continue to. As long as I'm not drinking, I still consider myself sober.

I am having really bad back pain right now and I will probably be prescribed rx pain meds which I don't even like taking (not my thang). Will consider myself sober then too.

Anyway, I wouldn't get too hung up on the wording and do what makes you a healthier, more balanced person.
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