Notices

In Hell

Old 03-01-2014, 10:21 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Religion is for those who have never been through hell.

Spirituality is for those who have been through hell, and dont want to return.
matt4x4 is offline  
Old 03-02-2014, 03:27 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
spacestation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 98
My avatar can be up, or down. If you look hard enough, it's up.

Its colder than a witches tit here....-30 Celsius. Cabin fever.
spacestation is offline  
Old 03-02-2014, 05:45 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
as long as you're still breathing it's not too late....

welcome aboard.

Keep on posting and reaching for the light.

FreeOwl is offline  
Old 03-02-2014, 06:01 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Jus
A Little Wingy
 
Jus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 923
Originally Posted by spacestation View Post
I'm in Hell for sure.

behind the guy who created auto correct.

OK I told someone else this is it. So My day one is now.

Really, umm, My Dad just passed away suddenly. Last 2 weeks. Really my best friend in the world.

And I have drank an amount that is just an abomination.

I saw him and then my car broke down, not worth fixing, but some really strange things have been happening, Stuff I would never believed could.

It has me in a way that I think I cant kick it. And I have made sure it's true. 30years of hard drinking has....I don't know who I am without it.

I am jonsing already.
I'm sorry for your loss. I understand how that feels. I lost my Dad suddenly too, when I was 18, which would lead me down a sad trail for years to come, until I finally woke up to it.

If all the drinking in the world would solve our problems, then I'd say, "Go for it!" All it does is hold us hostage, when there's no need for it. Hey, FREE yourself.

Think about this. Do you think it would make your Dad happy, if he knew you were tormenting yourself over his loss? It was his time to go, just like it was for my Dad.

Think about your life being taken, and the one's left behind who love you. How would it make you feel, watching them HURT themselves, because it was your time to go. It wouldn't feel so good would it?

Acceptance can be a tricky thing, but that's what it boils down to. We need to accept things we have no control over.

Hold the happy memories close to you, those are the best.

Make your Dad smile today, let him know you're going to be ok. He wants you to enjoy life the best way you can, and not HURT yourself

Take care of yourself. I too live in a brutally cold place. Yowy!!!
Jus is offline  
Old 03-02-2014, 07:49 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kaneda8888's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 7,970
Space My condolences for your loss. I am glad you are posting again. Things were pretty dire the last time you posted as well. Inside you I believe there is someone who desperately wants to live and survive this addiction. I would urge you to consider detox and rehab options. Don't process the thought too much, just commit !
Kaneda8888 is online now  
Old 03-02-2014, 05:50 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
nigey1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 340
I think at the very least you need to stick around for a while.

For what its worth, I think the guy/gal standing in front of your line in Hell is whoever invented your avatar. Sent me cross eyed.
nigey1 is offline  
Old 03-02-2014, 06:52 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Try to stay in the moment. Like your quote says. Just stay in TODAY. NO DRINK for today only. I am praying for you
quitforme79 is offline  
Old 03-02-2014, 07:01 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,415
Space - I'm just so glad you decided to post, even in the midst of your pain & confusion. You can make it out of this terrible time and live again in a new & better way. I drank 30 yrs. and now have 6 yrs sober. I never dreamed I'd make it 'alone' without my buffer - but here I am, and life is not the terrible challenge I made it out to be. I just needed to get clearheaded and stop numbing myself.

I'm sorry you lost your dad. Sending love out to you, praying for you to be comforted - and hoping you will stay with us. We care.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 03-04-2014, 10:18 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
spacestation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 98
Well, the blood pressure just goes to a bad level, and I have terrible vertigo.

This addiction really insists you stay unless you want to go through hell.

I could go on but there are ten other pressing concern's right now.

Am trying to taper......Hasn't worked but I am sure the day will come where it works.

With me it takes the right set of circumstances to give it up.

I get really ill when I quit, and cant stand that.

And once I get through that I'm over hyper, you see I have gone through it before.

I'm finding every reason not to quit right? Really it's the withdrawal and the responsibilities I face.

I'm getting crushed by stress and obligations and really if I don't quit right now I am going to forgive myself for that cause it's too much to bear right now.

I know it doesn't make any sense to those that have quit.

But that's where I'm at. Id really like to think its just an easy thing to do.

Name the problem I have it........It sucks, so the only escape I have is a few too many beers all the time.

I guess it's a major depression, but after living in such a way for years. I just don't know anymore.

Pour me pour me pour me another drink...exactly where I'm at and I'm ashamed of that, I fear this addiction is about to kill me.
spacestation is offline  
Old 03-04-2014, 10:22 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Rather than being an escape I think drinking binds you even more tightly into a bad situation space. You're not working for a solution or for change...you're simply trying to alleviate the status quo.

at most it's temporary relief which then makes you despair more, feel more shame/anger. self pity, and to feel physically bad...all of which leads you to drink more...

there's no way out there.

Why can't you see a Dr?
Dee74 is offline  
Old 03-04-2014, 10:40 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
spacestation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 98
And I will go down that route again? Here is the advise of one Dr "You just have to quit" Next patient please.

But you hit the nail on the head Dee. I will read that a few times to try and motivate myself to get better, I guess.

God You must know every alcoholic in the world. So thanks.
spacestation is offline  
Old 03-04-2014, 10:45 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Best wishes space - If I can break out, you can too

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 03-04-2014, 11:29 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
Looking4Help123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 385
Wanting to quit is where everyone starts Space. I'll be thinking about you all night man. Taper off. Take each moment at a time. Take each minute you are drinking as a reason to not do it the next minute.
Looking4Help123 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:59 PM.