ErikT

here is the salvation.....go to the hospital.....detox there...then go to rehab...after that...your life can be awesome....

GreenEggsAndHam

All that I can do is hope that one day I get to the point where I can enjoy life without it.

autan

Yes life is better without alcohol, but you need to do a lot more work on yourself than just, white knuckling the urge not to drink. Self improvement is the key. The good news is you feel life more, good times and bad times, drink deludes us and numbs us, but it can also stop us from feeling pleasure as well as block pain.

GracieLou

Life is not only better but it has meaning. I feel joy, happiness and gratitude all of which had eluded me when I was drinking.

I thought going to the bar, seeing my “friends” and having drinks in the past was fun. That is what I looked forward to everyday.

I thought the weekends were to drink more and earlier in the day. I could not wait to shed my responsibilities so I could relax and get to that drink that I had spent all week slaving at work for.

Rinse and repeat for 80% of my drinking career.

Then the fun stopped. I was tired but unable to let go of the fun that I once had. I was unable to achieve the gratification of that first drink. The high times and laughter now eluded me. I was alone in my living room drinking at 6am on Saturday morning. I could no longer drink in bars because the craving to have another and another was far past what I could handle in my 20’s and 30’s. I could not trust myself in social situations so I isolated at home, alone. The bottle was now my only friend and my enemy. I kept them both very close and they meant more to me than anything else other then my job and it was starting to slip. I was becoming less and less functional.

Today I am free. Free from the prison that had me tied to it for 26 years. I no longer move my life, my family or my friends around a bottle. I live each day without the need or desire to look at the next day much less the weekend. I no longer struggle all week long to suffer all weekend. Insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

I still work everyday. I still pay bills, buy groceries, clean house and do laundry. I don’t skip through the normal responsibilities today any more than I did yesterday but my reward for living life today it not a hangover and an empty bottle.

Today I am free to do whatever I want without the burden of the bottle hanging over my head.

If someone had told me a year ago that I would be living a happy sober life today I could not have possibly understood what they were offering to me if I had not stopped drinking. That is the first step.

I was lucky, life was waiting for me, others are not so lucky. I am happier now at 45 then I have been in my entire life and not only because I am sober but for the first time my happiness is real and genuine, not from a bottle of whiskey. My friends are real and genuine, not just another drinking buddy. My feelings are real and genuine not a mask to hide behind.

Yes, life is better without alcohol. I get to live life for the first time. I got a brand new life.

Gibbons2

Minimum wage doesn't pay enough to go anywhere.

But you have money for liquor? Surely you have money to rent a movie then? Sounds like an excuse.

Good to have you here.

falko89

Thanks for all the advice. I suppose I have managed to cut down my drinking in recent years, there was a time I was the original party animal, I'd be out Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday night, and I can't stop at 1 drink, I have to drink until I'm drunk or there is no point. And even though I had a hangover I'd get up the next morning for work with no issues.

Then kids etc came along and I stopped going out and would drink in the house on Friday and Saturday nights, then Friday night went out the window and its now Saturday night only, but in 1 night I'd easily get through a 12 pack beer or a large bottle of Vodka, but whats harder to cope with now is the hangovers, may be its just age but they kill me, not so much the sore head etc, more the depression and anxiety the following day.

It is sad that the only thing I have to look forward to in life is drink, I mean how did it come to this? The great thing about drink is its the only thing that helps me forget my crappy situation even for a couple of hours a week,

YoungAndClean

Is life really better without alcohol? A lot of the time, yes. I can completely relate to having a daily reprieve of drinking for its provided cheap thrills. I can't speak for someone with years of sobriety, but with 7 months of sobriety I have more hope, liberation, confidence, self-esteem, less depression/anxiety, more energy, sleep better, more money, new hobbies, genuine friends, worthwhile goals, less insanity, less drama, no empty bottles, no broken relationships, and serenity.

My experience has been that those first few months of sobriety were very exciting in a way because everything was a crisis and staying sober felt like this huge mission that I was on. Once I got to about 5 months sober and had put out a lot of fires I sort of felt like, "is this all there is? now what." The answer is continued goal setting/achieving, clearing away the wreckage of my past, exercise, and trying/learning new things. As an alcoholic, my mind wants an obsession like drinking so that it can keep reinforcing how pleasurable drinking is versus other things. Through staying sober a day at a time I've had to face boredom and do a lot of things I didn't necessarily want to in order to learn how to live a balanced life.

It's a simple thing but it's not easy. Sobriety does not mean the universe will show me favor just because I am no longer drinking. There are a lot of emotions, frustration, white-knuckling, self-pity, mental exhaustion, boredom, lonliness, and dissatisfaction along the way. I have spent a lot of friday/saturday nights at home drinking green tea and reading a book. I've watched a lot of movies alone. I've had days (especially recently) where I have confused serenity with boredom. And it's easy to forget how trapped and unhappy I was drinking, and start missing that feeling after 2 stiff drinks. Or start thinking about all the cocktails or varieties of alcohol I will miss out on. Or how I can't go wine tasting or have a couple glasses out at restaurants or on dates. Then there is the, "Oh I can never drink again? this suck. Life isn't worth living."

I've had all of these thoughts, but the biggest motivator for me to stay sober is fear. As soon as I take a drink I don't know where I'm gonna end up or if I'll ever make it back to recovery. As soon as I take a drink I loose so much, and it's back to that sloppy, unmanageable daily reprieve of chasing the buzz. So that keeps me marching forwards, and the best way I can describe sobriety at 7 months is: it is better, but I don't necessarily feel better. What I mean by that is that I do feel better with the: confidence, self-esteem, serenity. But despite all that, I still don't feel that much euphoric joy anymore, and I DO miss that. Not being able to self-medicate and drink myself into feeling happy anymore is a tough road to travel. Living life on lifes terms sucks some of the time (not all). But if your an alcoholic like me, it's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

So it comes down to 2 options: 1)Stay sober and eventually over the longterm things get better. Or 2)Keep drinking and eventually things get worse over the longterm. If I could have found a way to keep drinking without things getting worse over the longterm I would be doing that in all honesty. Hope some of this helps.

RobbyRobot

The saddest of all is the more you hold on to what your saying about drink the more reason you have to be sad. A useless and dangerous mindset. I hope you can break free. Drinking eventually wont even help you forget about your crappy situation. The writing is on the wall. Take care of YOU.

Quit ASAP.

It came to this because you didn't already quit. I hope things work out for you, Falko.

ScottFromWI

Drinking for me became a necessity rather than a pleasure. I drank because I needed to, not because I wanted to. Now that I am free of that burden my life better in every possible sense, and I never plan on going back. I did have multiple short attempts ad sobriety that failed and each time I went back to drinking, it took a shorter and shorter period of time before I returned to physcially depending on it. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I had one beer tomorrow, I would be back to drinking a 12 pack plus daily, probably within weeks.

I also now know that there are more things to do with your life sober than there are to do drunk. The world is built for sober people, not for drunks.

LeeD82

It's an easy pattern to fall into.

All I can say is, try to improve your life. For your kids and you.

Mountainmanbob

that is exactly what the liquid devil tells us
your life will be nothing without me
just the opposite of the truth

Mrrryah1

That u r explaining... The suffering thru all week to have a drink on the weekend. I get that, I relate. That's called the alcoholic cycle and it becomes the normal life for alcoholics. But that is not how life is supposed to be. At all. It is not normal. Only when we stay sober and get involved in recovery do we start to see how futile and miserable that existence really was. It sounds like you r still in the fog. Give it a try. What do u have to lose really? U can always go back drinking if recovery doesn't work for u. But it just might open your eyes to a seriously better way of living.

workoholic

My short experience of 6 months by tomorrow is that after about 2-3 months things would get better for me. All my other problems remain and need to be solved but now I am able to do that, it's not easy to face the demons that made me drink in the first place but sober I stand a chance.
6 months into this sobriety my situation is alot less bad. I am able to look to the future.

Axle

I was spending at least 10 $ a night.... But more like 20$
Whiskey, beer , wine. Paying the min. On bills or falling behind.
I'm up to gate on bills now.
My credit cards are in way better standing.
Even if I weaken my my resolve for sobriety tomorrow = tougher go at a healthy future.
This brief time in sobriety has helped my financial future.
It's a nice ego boost.
Take it simple

Mizzuno

Why do you want to forget your situation? If you are unhappy with what is taking place, the best thing and most necessary is to make the changes that you need to be fulfilled in your life. In my own opinion, forgetting and not changing is only going to keep me on a hamster wheel. It may be that you need to find a different outlet. Something that gives you a greater purpose in your life. There are so many things that we can do with our time. People choose what it is they want in their lives, and by those choices, there are consequences and realities that will transpire. I came to a place where I had to change or I was going to die. I was already killing myself slowly, and reality was hitting me in the face on a daily basis. I guess I am saying that in order to be happy we have to create our own happiness. Not forget. So, if it is the bottle that makes you happy then you are reaching and always searching for the next high. If you need to make changes, then make them. Life is better for me without alcohol. I have emotional, mental, physical, spiritual clarity on most occasions. When I am not clear, there is something that needs to be addressed and worked through. I cant work through anything if I am drunk or hungover.

falko89

Thought i would update this, it's been 2 weeks now of the beers, I managed to give up the weekend drinking but it's not been pleasant, i always put Sunday depression down to drinking but no Sundays are **** with or without drink. It's now 8.30pm on a sat night and I'm in bed as I'm just so fed up.

I think it's safe to say I'm struggling, life has not been any joy since I gave up drinking and I hate that.

Knat84

I know what you're going through... I really do. I just could not understand it. It was just so easy (to drink) in my head. I was MISERABLE without booze. I mean, it was my daily couch cushion. You just want to curse and scream, but, you don't have the energy to. It truly is an indescribable misery.

Push through it. Embrace the hell. That is the only way you're going to overcome it. And trust me, there is going to be more hell. Have you thought about physical activities? Walking? Jogging? Hell, just doing pushups, jumping jacks, or sit-ups in your room while watching TV??

We're here for you. Seriously, when you're miserable, type to us what you're feeling. If you don't want to, that's cool to.

Nat

Imabuleva

This is very true. Alcoholic drinking limits possibilities in life down to one: Get drunk.

Then you're just in hell. The only way to deal with alcoholism is to learn to deal with (and hopefully enjoy some of the time) life sober.

LadyBlue0527

Hi falko and welcome to the board! I just posted something recently and it applies in full force in answer to your questions.


I am completely serious. About 10 months ago my head was right where yours is in your post. I promise you, drinking is taking your life from you. Drinking is not what you perceive it to be. That's all part of what keeps people drinking, and again, it's a lie. Give yourself the chance to see this. You CAN do this.

Dee74

I don't remember how many years you've been drinking Falko, but I think you need to give sobriety more than 2 weeks to really evaluate it.

For a while I did the same things I used to do when I drank...which was pretty much slouch around the house and watch TV.

That's fine for a drinker...not so much for a sober person.

There must be things you can do, or stuff you're interested in...give it some thought.
Sobriety really shouldn't be something that's endured.

D