sillysuzanfree

For me Life had to get so bad drinking (and it did) and that sobriety was the only answer if I wanted to be productive, useful to others and keep a roof over my head. After that, it has been baby steps learning to be happy sober. I say now...if I truly thought I'd enjoy drinking right now as I once did and not beat myself up for it the next day...I might consider doing it. But I know the answer to that and it's a definite NO!

You don't have to let it get to that point.

alphaomega

Unequivocally, exponentially and beyond a shadow of a doubt better.

I remember in very early sobriety (like month 2) Dee said to me - if it didn't get better, none of us would be sober.

You have to hang on until the drinking veil that covers us, starts to lift.

And it will.

I can promise you that.

least

My life has certainly gotten better sober.

SoberLeigh

A thousand times, YES. It is not at all easy at first (and it is still not easy some of the time) but sobriety is truly wonderful all of the time.

Dee74

Welcome Falko

I remember when drinking was the only thing I had to look forward to as well.

Not to offend, but I think that showed a distinct lack of imagination on my part - there's an enormous amount of things to do and to look forward to without alcohol - millions of people do so every night, every weekend - sports, hobbies, getting together for pizza, going to the movies...whatever.

So yeah, lack of imagination...either that - or I loved drinking way more than I cared to admit.

there is life and there is fun after drinking Falko. You just have to decide to give it a try

D

LadyinBC

Yes life is definitely better without it. It is hard to imagine in the beginning. It really does get better and your thought pattern will eventually shift.

HeadLump

I see and experience life so differently now that I'm sober that I wouldn't dream of drinking, but I had to get away from alcohol for a while before I really appreciated that.

It's the feeling of freedom that's changed me. By choosing to say 'No' to that first glass, I can trust myself not to morph into a wine-soaked witch who forgets all promises and disregards lessons so painfully learned. Believe me, a natural high lasts so much longer than an alcoholic one ever did

LadyinBC

This a big thing for lots of people, I knew it was for me. "It was like oh my god what am I going to do now!"

I did not have any imagination at the beginning and really had to work on finding other things to do. I was lucky I had daytox to go to and getting back into reading really helped.

Notmyrealname

I think a lot of the things that were bad for me were bad because I didn't bother to try to make them good, because all I really cared about was staying drunk as much as possible. I had little room for focus or concern on making life good because it was all about the booze.

Once I took the booze out of the equation, surprise! I started caring about life and taking care of myself, and life started taking care of me. Good things came of it. And that's not to say that everything is hunky-dory now, for example, I likewise am not real fond of my job, but life is a mixed bag and a man abides. Plenty of good in my day to balance out any work-related frustration.

GotGrace

My life is so much better. It was difficult at first, to be honest, because the habit of reaching for the wine at the end of the day had to be broken. But at 6 months sober I can say that I enjoy my days so much more than a year ago. The shame is gone, for one thing. That, alone, is such a relief!

Good luck as you make this decision. I will tell you one last thing that I have shared with others: Fear of the thing is worse than the thing itself.

Believe it.

Correy

Short version: Yes.

Longer version: My life is totally, absolutely, seemingly irrevocable f-ed up, so miserable that it is beyond words, but sober I can even laugh at it. Were I drunk I'd be depressed and suicidal, given the circumstances. Sober I face them and laugh as only Sisyphus rolling his stone on a sinking "Titanic" could.



"I may be crazy, but I am sober."

Good luck.

SillyString

THIS - a thousand times this.

I had created a vicious cycle for myself, where I only looked forward to drinking - to the exclusion of everything else that I ever found enjoyable. Go shopping for a new outfit?? Nope - not if it was a Friday night, Saturday or Sunday (Sunday I'd be too hungover to do anything but lie in bed). Get my hair done? Nope! Never on a weekend. Do ANYTHING that interfered with drinking? Nope.

As long as drinking was still an option for me, I ALWAYS took that option. God forbid I miss one minute of my drinking time. I thought it was fun, freeing, and a way to shut my head off, and quell my anxiety. The truth was that it only lasted a very short time - I'd soon be downing beer like water, and within a few hrs. I'd be in a blackout. The next day would be spent drinking to stop the anxiety and guilt associated with the blackout, then the next day was hang over time. So...how fun and freeing was that drinking really? It wasn't.

So - now, I get the gift of waking up feeling GREAT every morning. I don't have to worry about what I either really said or did, or what I imagined that I said or did. I don't owe anyone an apology anymore. I'm not secretly wrestling with the question of whether or when I "should" quit...or how I will try to moderate my drinking once again, or getting caught lying about drinking when I was trying really hard to hide it from my husband. None of that was fun. None of that was freeing in any way. All of that made me start questioning what the hell happened to me.

Now, with the extra money (and it's a lot, given the way I drank), I buy myself maybe a new top, or a new pair of shoes, or earrings. Small things that make me happy. I care about how I look now, I'm not too hungover, and just happy to be upright. I really want to present myself nicely, and it makes me happy to do that small thing.

I'm thinking of things I've always wanted to do, but never tried...pottery, painting, etc. - things I'd like to take lessons to learn.

I was shocked last weekend when I went to the grocery store on a Saturday, and saw all these SOBER people. Honestly, it was shocking...like, wow - there's a whole world going about their business sober. I was the idiot that had myself shut in a tiny box.

2muchpain

You probably spend more money on booze than you think. I take out about the same amount each week, for food, gas, etc. When I'm drinking, I blow through that money real quick and spend the rest of the week using my ATM card for more booze. This week, I'm still using the money I took out last week. Big difference. Take that extra money and have some fun.

peanutty

Life is 100 times better sober if for no other reason than I like myself again. You can't buy that at any price.

RobbyRobot

Life with or without alcohol is not the best question to ask if your already looking forward to that next drink after a hard day. All too often the answer that satisfies will be the drinking answer. A better question is how much longer before drink doesn't satisfy? 20 years is a long time to suffer the same old same old and still end up asking if that's all there is to life - drink and suffer or don't drink and suffer more?

There are no easy ways forward if we don't want to endure some pain for a better cause and a better life. Addiction wastes us, steals us blind, dumbs us down, destroys us, keeps us in despair. Quitting is always best and never easy. In fact, the harder it is to quit the more your going to gain by quitting. Will the pains of life quit when you quit alcohol? Is life better without alcohol?

The short answer is no.

The long answer is absolutely life is better without alcohol because now you have a real chance to change out a lot of crap for some good living. Change of lifestyle is essential to get too the good in life. Here's the thing: anybody who just quits drinking and doesn't move on with better motivation and changes isn't going to be able to make sense of quitting, and they likely will have epic fail. Quitting happens in recovery. Quitting doesn't work in addiction. The moment we quit we are walking away from our addiction. If that walk doesn't do much for us, if we don't do anything different, then all we do is circle back and pickup all over again. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

So quit. And pay some attention to how you feel and what you could do in the same day to feel better. The idea of drinking will of course present. Own it as being from your addiction. Dismiss. Do it again. And again.

In the meantime, you'll also automatically start having ideas of what you could do besides drink. Some of those ideas will be fantasy. Your fears and anger will make some noise. Surf them out. Some of those rising ideas will be workable. Take the workable and try them on for fit. Change to fit into them. Keep the workable ideas. Change more to fit into them. Follow through. Eventually you'll discover what works best for you and you can tweak the whole thing like crazy thereafter. Good times ahead all alcohol free. Seriously.

Hey, in time, depends on you really, you'll be having a good day without alcohol. Keep going and you'll have a better life too.

Me, I quit a long time ago. All I had was nothing much when I quit. Tough times. Life was grim. Turned out things are way way different today. Trust me. Life is awesomely better without alcohol when we also get into play with changing whatever it takes to stay quit.

YOU can do this, Falko.

matt4x4

Life is a billion times better without alcohol. To think otherwise, you still have an alcoholic mind. How do we get rid of our alcoholic mind. How do we change it?
Well I know of one program that has helped many people to change the way that they think. Because we all know by now, hopefully, that alcohol has nothing to do with our alcoholism. Its the way we think that is messed up and needs to change. Working the 12 steps of AA will give you a higher power that will help you live a life full of sobriety, fun, happiness and joy. A life like that, is impossible for us alcoholics in our cups (drinking). The whole purpose of the Big Book is to get a Higher Power, to live a happy and sober life. To help others from the brink of hell, to a live that is worth living. Typing this out repetively not only helps to stamp the information on my brain but hopefully helps others.

FreeOwl

yes. it definitely is.

lisatrying

Falco I read on here for about 3 months before I stopped drinking 7 months ago. And each time I read here I felt envious of peoples sobriety.

But I also wondered if everyone posting here was maybe lying and delusional that life would be better without booze - no offense anyone !!

I mean how could life possibly be better without alcohol!

I eventually stopped thinking of it as an experiment, I didn't have to commit, I would approach this scientifically, and if my life was not better in a year without drinking I could always start again.

Well low and behold my life is better. Its not perfect, but I like myself more, and I think I understand myself more.

I get what you mean about how do we find joy in life on a minimum wage. There definitely is so much pressure on us all to have and acquire, we equate spending with our worth. Its a huge challenge.

But if you stop drinking you may find you stop feeling that way. I have. The joy I get from reading a good book from the library that I can now be truly engrossed in and focus on properly far surpasses the buzzed blurry feeling I got from alcohol.

You could maybe use the money you might spend on alcohol for study, so you can move forward in another direction job wise?

Good luck.

DarkDays

I was like that looking forward to weekends so I could really poison myself , coming home from work to poison myself , any social occasion or event so I could poison myself , alcohol controlled my thoughts and life 25 years of my life truly wasted , a wasted youth etc I could have done so much more , this is the only thing I find hard the sadness of a wasted life.
Life is good and improving all the time . It takes time but all I can say is sobriety keeps on giving . Early days , grind it out !

LeeD82

I have a hell of a lot of sympathy for your situation.

The only thing I can say is, to change your situation will require more effort than drinking will allow. I hope that thinking this way will help you scale back or quit drinking.

Do a college or distance learning course or something. You will have much less time to drink and it will improve your prospects of changing job.

All the best