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New to site, not recovery. Needing support

Old 02-25-2014, 09:10 PM
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New to site, not recovery. Needing support

Hello everyone. I am several years in recovery. Feeling fear, guilt and shame. I have had 2 DUI's my last 4 years ago. I was self medicating....PTSD. Anyway, I am BACK in school to be a Substance abuse counselor and I am having a panic attack.....something that usually starts my drinking. I cant go to meetings locally to avoid dual relationships...(ie. counselor vs AA Buddy). That and I cant bring my 2 year old. I have no friends or family where I live so its been REALLY HARD. I have a tendency to isolate....BAD! Anyway...I am beating myself up REALLY bad right now. I guess I just need SOMEONE to say that their lives have been EVENTUALLY ok after 2 DUI's. I am in counseling and have been officially been diagnosed with PTSD. I want to be a therapist and I just feel like my life is over. I wont able to have a good job, take care of my daughter or ever find a healthy relationship because of my past. I just need good news....something positive. Thank you.
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Old 02-25-2014, 09:21 PM
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Hi and welcome lotus

I haven't had a DUI, but my life is immeasurably better since I stopped drinking

It can take a little while to clean up the messes our drinking leaves behind, but you will

don't lose faith

D
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Old 02-25-2014, 09:33 PM
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Hi Lotus,
Welcome. You will find so much support here. We all have different stories but we all share that we have known the fear, loneliness, and self loathing alcohol can cause.

You are not worthless. You are not alone. You are already everything you dream you will be. Alcohol has just hidden it from you.

Stick around. You are safe here. You will be feel positive again but until then we are all here for you.

I know. I've been there. I know how bad it feels. I also know how it feels to get better. And it can for you too.

(((Hug)))
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Old 02-25-2014, 09:37 PM
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Welcome, Lotus. Hang in there through the anxiety. I get crippling anxiety sometimes, to the point where it can hijack my mind for hours or days at a time. Right now it sounds like your anxiety is begging you to frantically prove that people live normal lives after two DUIs.

I'm sure deep down you know that yes, people lead full and normal lives after getting two DUIs. I personally only had one official DUI, but there were several other close calls including traffic stops and an accident. I also got myself into some other serious messes while drinking, including money-related conflicts, business conflicts, etc., which for me could have cost me my career. I lived for a long time with guilt, shame and fear of the unknown.

In my experience, by staying sober, taking responsibility, and attempting to make right my wrongs, my life has returned to normal. Not only has my life returned to normal (times a million), but I think I'm stronger as a result of the experiences.

So hang in there! Really. Just hang in and focus on the things you can control, and I promise the rest will fall into place.
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Old 02-25-2014, 09:48 PM
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Hi I have had two DUI in the past and now have a licence and the best life a mum could ask for , it is certainly not over sweety it's all a learning curb for the future and for a better life , hang in there
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Old 02-25-2014, 10:04 PM
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Thank you. I am just so scared I wont be able to find a good job. I have a degree but I feel selfish keeping my daughter. What if I cant give her a good life because of past mistakes. I love her very much and I don't want her to suffer because I did something wrong. I keep looking up things on the internet about people moving on after DUI's and it just seems that the searches go nowhere except being attacked by other people. I feel like all my accomplishments have been erased by these DUI's. When does this get better?
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Old 02-25-2014, 10:08 PM
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It takes time , different for everyone andkids are robust creatures all children need to grow up happy is the love and support of there mother or father it's nothing to do with money or accomplishments , staying sober and giving your child love and support is key ,
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Old 02-26-2014, 01:07 AM
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Welcome Lotus xxxxx
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Old 02-26-2014, 07:08 AM
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I am sorry. I just need to know that people have good jobs eventually. I cant raise a child on welfare. PLEASE ANYONE! For me there is no future if I am wandering the streets homeless with my child. Sorry. Just being logical
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Old 02-26-2014, 07:47 AM
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Like I said, I only had one official DUI, but I had several other issues related to my drinking that could have impacted my career greatly.

I run my own photography company, and in the last six months of my drinking I got so drunk at a wedding I was working that I missed the couple's cake cutting and first dance. I blacked out and remembered nothing, basically losing any photo documentation of two full hours of their wedding day. As you can imagine, people value their wedding pictures greatly, and this could have ruined my business reputation and gotten me sued. So what did I do? I got sober and confronted the couple that I wronged and offered to make things right. They were beyond receptive. The husband actually has family members in recovery and told me the only thing I needed to do to make it right was to stay sober. Powerful, right?

I suggest you take control of the things you can control, and let go of the things you can't. If you put your sobriety first, and work toward getting on the other side of your DUIs (basically doing everything you can to handle them and make things right), I promise you everything will be okay! Many people have struggled with alcoholism or have a family member or close friend who has struggled from it in the past. You'd be shocked by how taking an active approach to cleaning up your past will impact your future.

If you do everything in your power to make your wrongs right, you will find a job and you will be able to support your daughter. And remember that you don't have to live in your past, but you can learn from it.
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Old 02-26-2014, 07:51 AM
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Welcome to the family. I hope we can help you get thru this.
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Old 02-26-2014, 10:24 AM
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Dick Cheney had two duis, and he is one of the richest Americans, so I would say a good job is not out of the question. All kidding aside, while it may impact your prospects in the short term, all you can do today is work towards a place where a third DUI isn't going to happen, because no doubt 3 will impact you worse than 2. Do that, and I suspect the two you have will lose significance over time. Close friend of mine had two, seven years ago; has never been an issue for him when seeking employment.
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Old 03-02-2014, 01:55 PM
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Four years has passed since I got a DUI. I wont drive for another year. I have been sober. Leaving Florida has greatly helped. . I am in school to be a drug counselor but the hardest problem I have is forgiving myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD and have found other ways to cope. Although I still have panic attacks. Luckily, the VA pays for my counseling. The problem with PTSD is that I constantly deal with the idea that "I am dead" and the world is "EVIL". The fear is gripping at times.....the night terrors never end. I was a victim of domestic violence in Florida. The cops didn't believe me and tried to throw me in jail 2x. Not until I moved away to another state and my abuser followed did the cops recognize what was going on. My daughter and I now have a PERMANANT restraining order from him. I am hoping the fear will dissipate I can regain my confidence. One day at a time.
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Old 03-02-2014, 02:17 PM
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Lotus, I have had two 2 DUI's the last one about a year ago. I will have the interlock out of my car in about 4 months, off of probation in 7 months. Everything is so much better now. I reached my year milestone and just got a new job. Life is going okay, so much better than it was and each day is a little easier. I go to counseling once a week and attend AA whenever the need arises. Keep your head up! Actually the career you are choosing is so acceptable of your past, in most cases most patients with substance abuse issues require it. Its hard for people to take advice from their counselor when they haven't been there personally. You Got This!
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Old 03-02-2014, 02:48 PM
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I have a DUI which meant a criminal record. I have had a few job offers rescinded because of it. I also have bad credit stemming from my alcoholism which has caused major problems. However, the DUI is in the process of being pardoned and my credit is slowly being built back up.

I have thought of becoming an addiction counselor myself. I have ADHD so my past career in finance was not a good fit and I cannot sit in front of a computer all day or keep things organized. Is 37 yrs old too late to become an addiction counselor?
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Old 03-02-2014, 03:05 PM
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Wastinglife it is not too late to be a counselor. I have also thought about it. The program here requires you sign a agreement to be sober for the two years it takes to complete the program, which is also what it takes to be hired. I have been in rehab and treatment centers and everyone working there were either recovered alcoholics or addicts. These particular individuals are highly respected, due to the fact they can relate. Go For It!
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