2muchpain

Dee74, I mean how did you manage to be liked and accepted sober? Just curious.

Dee74

I wasn't hanging around the same people 2much.

My friends as a drinker were all heavy drinkers or alcoholics.

I reconnected with old friends and made new ones where the focus of the relationship wasn't about drinking.

I'm not the most social guy in the world - I'm quite shy - but I accept that in myself now, and the friends I have now are golden

I also like myself now (that took a lot of work) which means whether others like me or not is way less important to me.

D

2muchpain

Dee74
I'm really glad things worked out for you, but I think we are talking about two different things, I think. I don't have any drinking friends, because I drink alone. I have no old friends to connect with My biggest hope when I moved here four years ago was to make a few friends in AA. That turned out to be a disaster (no point in getting into it). There is a social organization in my area that does a lot of activities. I'm going to join it as soon as I figure out how to download a picture of myself (required). I really don't care much whether people like me or not anymore, but I'm sure the people you hang around like you, and you like them. Sorry about the rant, but this is a sensitive topic for me, and I'm not in the best of moods, and maybe feeling a little sorry for myself tonight. But everybody has their own idea of what feeling alone really is. I know someone who says she is lonely, yet her phone keeps ringing and someone is always dropping by her apartment to say hi.

myheartaches

Wow! that is so generous and humble of you to share that with us! If only we all listened to the wiser years before now...like if I only knew then what I knew now, and then some, because even now that I know it makes it almost more difficult to listen to my voice of reason. Why is that?

brazilian

If you feel insecure to tell your coworkers you are an alcoholic, maybe you could just say "I don't drink anymore". If someone ask why, just say that "alcohol is bad for health and I feel better without it". That's what I do when people come asking why.

(I have social phobia in some events, so I have prepared sentences to some awkward situations)

BrentSC

This topic has been very difficult for me in the mere 1.5 weeks of sobriety I have under my belt. I travel often with coworkers and the pressure to drink is a constant test of willpower. Despite trying to moderate my drinking in the past and failing, I'm already finding myself searching for moderation techniques or coming up with limits that I can impose on myself to drink responsibly.

I also find myself comparing my drinking habits to the people who I work with. I've seen nearly everyone there at some point during a party, game, or other event get drunk and act foolish. Surely, these people can't all be alcoholics. Why are they not concerned about losing self-control while I am?

I can't seem to stop obsessing over what it means to quit drinking permanently. I am going to set a goal of abstaining for 2-3 months just to stay focused. Hopefully, as time goes on, I'll realize that it's not a huge deal to go without drinking.

Dee74

I used to look at other drinkers too.

The difference was they all went home, stopped drinking, and got up the next morning and went about their day.

I went home and drank some more....and the next day.

Comparisons are kinda moot Brent

I know guys who drank more than me who don't seem to have the obsessions I do...I know guys who drank less than me who are no longer here to tell their story.

If you can't honestly imagine your life without alcohol, then it's likely you have a problem.
If you don't address the problem, you may end up like me and lose the career all together.

There are non drinkers in every industry - I'm sure there are some in your line of work too, but you may not be aware of them right now.

D

EndGameNYC

Some people can lose control and then get on with their lives.

For me, losing control is a permanent condition. Each time I pick up the drink, I'm making a pact to surrender control of my life, completely and indefinitely.