Guilt
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 183
Staystrong -
AlphaOmega is right. Some people have a particularly BAD anxiety reaction (and by extension all the guilt, etc.) after a bout of heavy drinking. It's because alcohol is a depressant, so when we drink a lot, our brain goes, "Oh - well, we don't need that "calming" natural neurotransmitter in the brain, with all this alcohol on board!", and your brain cuts back on production of the naturally occurring GABA that would calm your brain down. THEN - you abruptly stop drinking, blood alcohol falls, and whoa - your brain wasn't ready for this! It's not making it's normal amount of GABA to keep you calm and rational. It takes time for your brain to catch up. It will - if you stop drinking. Even a few drinks tonight will only make this guilt and anxiety linger on for tomorrow. This alone makes not drinking tonight a fantastic idea. Save yourself the continued torture...I know, I was so there - every weekend, I was right where you are now, and it sucked. Now, my anxiety is all but GONE. And the guilt went with it. I'm not proud of things I've done drunk, or how long I drank, but I'm not thinking I'm inherently 'evil' for it either. I can look at everything now more rationally.
AlphaOmega is right. Some people have a particularly BAD anxiety reaction (and by extension all the guilt, etc.) after a bout of heavy drinking. It's because alcohol is a depressant, so when we drink a lot, our brain goes, "Oh - well, we don't need that "calming" natural neurotransmitter in the brain, with all this alcohol on board!", and your brain cuts back on production of the naturally occurring GABA that would calm your brain down. THEN - you abruptly stop drinking, blood alcohol falls, and whoa - your brain wasn't ready for this! It's not making it's normal amount of GABA to keep you calm and rational. It takes time for your brain to catch up. It will - if you stop drinking. Even a few drinks tonight will only make this guilt and anxiety linger on for tomorrow. This alone makes not drinking tonight a fantastic idea. Save yourself the continued torture...I know, I was so there - every weekend, I was right where you are now, and it sucked. Now, my anxiety is all but GONE. And the guilt went with it. I'm not proud of things I've done drunk, or how long I drank, but I'm not thinking I'm inherently 'evil' for it either. I can look at everything now more rationally.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 214
SillyString - Thanks for your feedback. I can't wait for my anxiety to lessen! Its been very comforting to read everyone's comments reminding me how toxic alcohol is. I'm just so confused in certain areas of my life and alcohol is making it worse. Ugh!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 183
Staystrong -
Sure, it's hard to think clearly about anything when you are so 'distracted' by the terrible guilt and anxiety. I knew that I was putting off dealing with important things...they always went into my mental "later" file, because I was so consumed with either drinking, recovering from drinking, or planning and anticipating the next binge time, that I couldn't think my way through anything that required more than a moment's thought.
I really had a very bad last withdrawal, mentally and physically, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I too drank for relief, and it was so, so fleeting - and I wound up with 3 day hangovers/withdrawals...all for the 1-3 hrs of 'relief' that I could remember of the drinking night. What kind of relief is THAT?
I think so many of us have been in your shoes right now...and know this. This WILL pass. It will. If you think in terms of this being a physiological reaction vs. you being a "bad" person, I think that will help. Tomorrow will probably even seem much better by comparison. And then, it just gets better and clearer.
You are not alone.
Sure, it's hard to think clearly about anything when you are so 'distracted' by the terrible guilt and anxiety. I knew that I was putting off dealing with important things...they always went into my mental "later" file, because I was so consumed with either drinking, recovering from drinking, or planning and anticipating the next binge time, that I couldn't think my way through anything that required more than a moment's thought.
I really had a very bad last withdrawal, mentally and physically, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I too drank for relief, and it was so, so fleeting - and I wound up with 3 day hangovers/withdrawals...all for the 1-3 hrs of 'relief' that I could remember of the drinking night. What kind of relief is THAT?
I think so many of us have been in your shoes right now...and know this. This WILL pass. It will. If you think in terms of this being a physiological reaction vs. you being a "bad" person, I think that will help. Tomorrow will probably even seem much better by comparison. And then, it just gets better and clearer.
You are not alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 214
I've almost made it through my day. Hands are a bit shaky and I can't wait to be home. My feeling of guilt has lessened but my anxiety is awful. I'm glad I reached out on SR. I have so many reasons to not drink but talking through it makes me feel I'm not all alone in it. I pray for a good night's rest and peace of mind.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 214
Goldcoast, i'm doing "ok". Fatigued and restless with a headache. I so badly need a good night's sleep tonight.
Just letting everybody know, I did not give into my urge for a temporary fix by drinking more. I took my dog for a walk and watched a few podcasts on spirituality. Resting with some tea now and praying for a better day tomorrow.
Just letting everybody know, I did not give into my urge for a temporary fix by drinking more. I took my dog for a walk and watched a few podcasts on spirituality. Resting with some tea now and praying for a better day tomorrow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 214
I'm feeling better today. Irritable and mental fog. In hindsight, I could have seen this coming had I been more aware. I guess gaining insight is a step. I neglected positive coping skills and when stress came, I went straight to a bad one. I'm learning... Thanks everyone
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