Back where I started
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 24
Back where I started
Well I had a nice run I suppose. although it seems longer than two years, I was a member of the class of January 2012, after a disastrous New Year's Day. Things were going ok for me, but for some reason which I can't recall now, meeting old friends in New Orleans for the weekend seemed like a good idea. There was an incident in a bar, some sleeping in a bush, and a further incident at the hotel. I'm such an ass. Today I really feel awful, and know that I don't deserve the great family and friends that I have.. Not sure how I'm going to get through the rest of the day and night.
I know back in 2012 the fact that i put a few posts here really helped me accept reality, hoping for the same this time I suppose. Thanks.
I know back in 2012 the fact that i put a few posts here really helped me accept reality, hoping for the same this time I suppose. Thanks.
Last edited by kla; 02-23-2014 at 01:25 PM. Reason: Addition of one sentence
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Thanks for a timely warning to all of us.
I am sure that if I get too cocky I will end up back where I was for decades.
That's why I like coming here, going to meetings, and meditating every morning over the day ahead, along with a quick review of my rotten past..
I am sure you will now recoup and return to those infinitely saner better ways...
I am sure that if I get too cocky I will end up back where I was for decades.
That's why I like coming here, going to meetings, and meditating every morning over the day ahead, along with a quick review of my rotten past.
.I am sure you will now recoup and return to those infinitely saner better ways...
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome back,It's so scary to read posts like yours when someone's been sober for so long then picks up again.It shows we can never think we're cured. You were sober for a long time though-do what you did then to get sober again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
hey.... you DO deserve the great family and friends you have and right now is a really great time to be grateful for them.
You screwed up. But that doesn't mean you're not deserving of goodness in your life.
Take this as a powerful reminder and vivid piece of evidence that sobriety IS the right path for you.
And thank you.... you're helping me stay sober today.
welcome back.
You screwed up. But that doesn't mean you're not deserving of goodness in your life.
Take this as a powerful reminder and vivid piece of evidence that sobriety IS the right path for you.
And thank you.... you're helping me stay sober today.
welcome back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 24
Thanks everyone, I sure hope I can make this work. The whole thing seems so much more overwhelming and depressing than it did in 2012, I guess that time around had the "newness" factor, since it was my first attempt to go without alcohol for any extended length of time.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I'm glad to see you back kla. I do think posting & reading here regularly will help. At least you know you're never alone.
Sometimes we need further proof that we can't predict what'll happen when we pick up. I needed a few bad times like you described - any one of them could have led to disaster. I finally had to admit I couldn't touch it. It was easier than trying to control it and always failing. You don't need it in your life - we know you can get free of it. Never stop trying.
Sometimes we need further proof that we can't predict what'll happen when we pick up. I needed a few bad times like you described - any one of them could have led to disaster. I finally had to admit I couldn't touch it. It was easier than trying to control it and always failing. You don't need it in your life - we know you can get free of it. Never stop trying.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Kla,
You deserve every great thing. I drank this weekend after 22 days sober. I feel frustrated and hopeless. But I'm not, you're not, we all are here because we want a better life, and that's got to count for something.
You deserve every great thing. I drank this weekend after 22 days sober. I feel frustrated and hopeless. But I'm not, you're not, we all are here because we want a better life, and that's got to count for something.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 24
I hope everyone is having on OK day. I'm having a hard time believing how far I fell in only a couple days. Friday I was sitting at this same desk, incredibly excited about an upcoming job interview, and some other things going on. Today in sitting here half hungover, haven't slept or eaten since Saturday, and can't bare to think about anything. Too hard...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 329
I feel your disappointment coming through my I pad!! But realistically what are your options?
You can't rewind time! What is done is done. You now need to react!! Use your disappointment to drive your sobriety forward. Don't waste your energy on something you can not change. Learn from what happened. Put this in your memory bank for next time. Get back up and make yourself proud of yourself!
You can't rewind time! What is done is done. You now need to react!! Use your disappointment to drive your sobriety forward. Don't waste your energy on something you can not change. Learn from what happened. Put this in your memory bank for next time. Get back up and make yourself proud of yourself!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by kla 
I hope everyone is having on OK day. I'm having a hard time believing how far I fell in only a couple days. Friday I was sitting at this same desk, incredibly excited about an upcoming job interview, and some other things going on. Today in sitting here half hungover, haven't slept or eaten since Saturday, and can't bare to think about anything. Too hard...
Remember how bad you feel today too, the next time you choose to drink again will most likely be even worse.
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