My recent experiences not drinking at social events
 

On day 35 today. On one of my previous posts I mentioned that I had four events in the past three weeks that I was concerned about. The reason I was concerned is that they were all either social dinners, or parties that I would normally drink. The final one was last night. I'm happy to say that I got through all of them with flying colors. No drinks and although I had a little bit of desire at times to drink, not an overwhelming amount. Here are my observations of these events:

1. I found eating right when I got to the event helped ward off cravings to drink.

2. I found after the first hour or two, most people stopped drinking and I stopped feeling "out of place" by not drinking. Quite frankly, other than one person razzing me a bit, no one else really could give a crap if I was drinking or not.

3. Out of the four parties, two were genuinely fun, and two were genuinely boring. If I drank at them, two parties would STILL have been boring and the other two STILL would have been fun…although the next morning would not have been fun!!

4. I was quietly laughing to myself talking to someone who was drunk and slurring. Made me sad that I know that could have been me when I was drinking. No surprise, it wasn't the most enjoyable conversation.

5. After a party, I LOVE the hour or so leading up to going to bed, knowing I didn't drink! What a wonderful rewarding feeling.

6. I drove my wife's drunk ass home for once!!! That's a real first!! Kidding aside, she really wasn't too drunk, since she's a "normal" drinker. On the off chance she has 2-3 drinks in a night, she gets a little loopy! Great feeling driving home and not worried about getting pulled over the entire ride.

7. Here's my favorite one! Even sober, I can still make people laugh. To me, its just so much fun to be able to make someone laugh! Not that Im all that funny, but its nice to know I still can…

Hope this may help someone here. As always, thanks SR for always being there for what is, and will be the beginning of the rest of my life!!

hi Betterlife, my experience with social non-drinking is just the same as yours. I don't say it's for everyone, but knowing I'm not going to drink makes it easy for me. Before I took drinking out of the picture for good, I'd go through all sorts of torture about should I? how much? etc.
I agree with the eating early, and I like to get a large soft drink in my hand as soon as I arrive. Has to be large as I tend to drink more when I'm nervous.
I went out on Friday night and although everyone was drinking very moderately I got to drive them home. I like doing that.

Wonderfuly to read this! I have found many of the same things and it's been so great. And as for driving, it's what I've used when people asked if/why I wasn't drinking, not as an excuse so much but a follow up to my answer. So it goes something like "I'm not drinking these days. But I now make a fantastic designated driver so let me know if anyone needs a ride!" With that comment, no one can try to convince me to have a drink or question anything (which they really don't, as you noticed as well).

Kudos to you!

Fantastic. I always found eating helped. xxx

FANTASTIC post Betterlife1!

While I stopped going to 'drinking' parties long ago, I still attend a lot of concerts, where I used to drink and smoke pot continuously. Now I can remember the entire show in detail and not miss anything because of trips to the bar and bathroom! WIN, WIN!

Thankyou

Congrats on 35 days sober! :)

Congrats on 35 days sober and well done at not drinking at social events

Whilst it's natural to be concerned about events I think it's really important for people to realize that they don't HAVE to attend functions,especially so early on in sobriety. Saying no to invites to protect your sobriety is a good thing to do

Hi Hope! Being married, I find I'm going to have to go to these family and friend social events that my wife wants to go to. Like mentioned in previous posts, she is a normal drinker and I want to be able to hang out with her and our family/friends. So far I'm really doing pretty well with it, so I'm hoping each successful event will make me stronger and more dedicated to sobriety.

As far as concerts. Thats gonna be tough. I love a good concert, and I've been to hundreds over my lifetime. I also love a good drinking tailgate. I may get some more time under my belt before doing a concert. But it sounds like you have enjoyed the ones you have gone to sober. That's reassuring! Thanks!

Thank you for your post Better!

I really enjoyed it.

I've been sober for a few months now, and it has been remarkable how my perceptions of social events have changed. You put many of my feelings into words.

:tyou

Good job Better :)

I'm almost a year and a half in and I still avoid most events where I know people will be drinking. I can't avoid them all, of course. But everyone is different. It sounds like you've risen to the challenge, I hope things continue to go well for you.

Nice avatar, Betterlife1. My experiences have been similar. Quit drinking Dec. 26 and went to a new years party. A few people asked early on and that was it. Went home at 10pm. Another party in late January with same people: "Still not drinking?" "Not tonight." and that was that. Superbowl party with heavy drinking crowd. I got there at halftime because I didn't want to do the whole game there and brought a bottle of seltzer. I don't think anyone noticed.

Have had periods of sobriety and always the same. People ask but then back off. Also, have done many shows clean and sober, including Furthur last year. Great to not have to bum a ride so I can party. And my energy tends to be stronger than all those stoners (but maybe not the trippers). Still, I love live music drunk, high or sober. From now on it will be sober.

Lillian, Gram Parsons was a true talent. Hope you don't idolize his lifestyle. Yet another sad loss.

No, don't idolize his lifestyle at all, nor do I demonize him. Drugs, alcohol, cheating on his wife...all addictions. Like any addict though, I do wish he chose his deep blue sea instead. Compassion is how I'd describe my feelings for good old Gram. A little more time, he might have pulled through.

I liked the line in the song is all. I live by the blue sea, and the image is very comforting to me.

Some of the most brilliant writers in history, were alcoholics/drug addicts. The disease is very sad to me for many reasons, but the loss of such genius is especially so. I'm sitting here listening to Amy Winehouse and thinking just that.

Great post Betterlife. I have been reading many posts to help me get on track again, and can definitely relate to you. My wife is also a normal drinker, and I want to be the one to drive home. I have been cutting down, and have had nothing since this past Wednesday. Wish you luck for the future! By the way, while reading your post I see you are from Jersey. Me too. People around here just love to drink, and I think that makes it easier for us to not stand out.

Hi STC, Thanks and definitely agree people in NJ LOVE to drink!!! Just a suggestion I read a great book by Allen Carr called "The Easy Way to Quit Drinking" I actually got it on Audiobook. Listened to it while driving to work. Highly recommended and changed my perspective on alcohol and drinking, which has been making sobriety much easier for me. Best of luck to you in your sobriety!