TooCute

Ironically, the only one I've told, besides you amazingly kind, supportive, and uplifting group of people -- is the guy at the liquor store.

I went in there yesterday and got some vitamin water. I needed something healthy in my system.

It was so bad that it got to the point where I would walk in and they would simply ask: "How many?" They knew I was on those Seagrams sweet tea vodka shots.

So I'm buying my vitamin water and he says, "You don't want a shot?" "No. Never again." His eyes grew huge. "Never?!" "I quit drinking." "Why?" I chuckled. "A lot of reasons!" I'm thinking, can't you see I look like crap today?

"When?" he asked. At this, I became emotional. "Today. So pray for me." And he said "good luck."

I think I'm treating this like a newborn baby. I don't want to announce to the world. Too fragile, early stages, and young: this brand new me. It will come up in conversation with family & friends in due time. Right?

jazzfish

You don't have to tell anyone, although, some people find it helps to create accountability with others. I only tell a very few of those who are close to me.

I can't help but think that there are probably safer places to buy Vitamin Water than the liquor store.

abcowboy

Morning TC, tell who you want! I admitted to my wife and children (all 4 grown and gone) that I was an alcoholic, then our friends who we socialize with, I told them I had stopped drinking, didn't tell them why, now after almost 2 months sober, I am not ashamed to admit that I'm an alcoholic and HAD to stop.....

newme2day

Do what you feel comfortable with. I haven't told anyone yet.

least

I went on the 'need to know' principle. If they didn't need to know, I didn't tell them. Very few know of my sobriety. My kids and my dad and my shrink. No one else needs to know.

tnman1967

Agreed, there's no need to announce anything, also thought that once you quit drinking I would stay away from liquor stores.

TooCute

I just emailed an ex boyfriend about it. A) because he was in my dreams last night -- treating me like rubbish and B) he saw some sloppy behavior from me when I was drinking.

Blackhawkfan

I didn't tell anyone in my first attempt at sobriety in Nov 13. I had a really bad relapse in Dec . At that po

Blackhawkfan

At that point I told my family and my closest friends. In part I did it so I had accountability. I also did it for their support to help dur

Blackhawkfan

Sorry....fat fingers and my friggin iPhone keeps posting!

So I had help during a very difficult time.

Aa and other group therapy works on similar principles. Accountability is a big part of the program to remain sober

ReadyAtLast

No-one-=it's no-one's business but yours.

matt4x4

Well, I would never walk into a liquor store to buy anything other then liquor., that is just crazy. Why even be tempted by it, why play games like that. Just craziness, but hey thats what we alcoholics do, crazy things, just like that.

For one you dont go screaming to the world about this. You tell who you feel comfortable with, primarly family and friends, and maybe co-workers. But be very careful with telling others, and do no preaching how this program is going to save the world.

Mountainmanbob

I'm sure that he meant it with all his heart
ones who work in liquor stores feel our pain
as they see us come in over and over again to buy booze
I also say to you good luck

Mountainman

TooCute

It will be fine for me, though I doubt for others, true.

In this case, this is a small, family run business. I've been going there for years (two different locations) so they know me. Ironically, I have too much accountability to face there, now I would be way too embarrassed to buy alcohol from them. (Not that I'll be buying any from anyone else, either!)

Exactly! Exactly! I've seen looks in their eyes. They've been seeing me for years. Welcome to a new me! (self hug)

Oh, thank you.

Notmyrealname

I like my local liquor store guys quite a bit, they have been friends for years, but I don't visit them anymore. I think it is unwise to frequent a liquor store if you're trying to avoid a return to drunkenness -- one of the big hard parts to this process is getting out of the habit of taking a right turn into the liquor store parking lot when you're driving past. Taking the package store off the "frequent destination" list sooner rather than later is probably a good idea.

I would not tell people about your newfound sobriety initiative unless they ask, because it's not normal conversation material and most people won't relate. If you want to talk about sobriety, try to find people who actually share that interest. Plenty on SR or at your local AA chapter.

It's like weightlifting, dieting, and/or fitness -- most of my friends actually prefer I don't talk about any of that, despite it arguably being relevant to, well, any human who's interested in avoiding an early demise, really.. They don't care, don't want to talk about it, and will think it's weird if I don't seem to understand that ahead of time.

Further, some may actually have drinking issues that they're in denial about, so sobriety is actively a "sore" topic to bring up, and they may resent it.

So, in conclusion, I would keep that light under a bushel, at least for now, and also buy my vitamin water at the grocery store -- it's where normal, sober people go to buy groceries. You even get a better price! Save a buck and save yourself some risk.

Joe Nerv

Who you tell at this point in sobriety really doesn't matter a whole lot. I say do what you feel when each situation presents itself, and don't trouble yourself with thinking about it too much. Put that thinking into a plan to sustain your sobriety.

People go about doing this in countless ways. I hate to say it, but most fail. And those who succeed often only succeed after repeated attempts. It doesn't have to be that way though. I'm living proof that this can be done first time around. I know many others who have done it. And I've spent a lot of time asking, why me? Why the others who got it first time around? What I've come up with is this.

When I first put the bottle down, I was so full of pain, fear and anguish that I was completely willing to do whatever anybody told me I had to do in order to get better. I had no reservations whatsoever. None. I had no ego whatsoever. I was pummelled into the ground. I didn't say, "No. that's just not me, or not who I am," to anything that was presented to me. If I was told something would help me, I gave it my all, and kept my mouth shut. That meant on the simplest level, getting on my knees, sincerely asking god for help, and then getting to AA meetings. I had panic attacks at meetings. I didn't fit in. I couldn't talk with anyone, and I couldn't share at meetings. I went anyway. And I listened. And I took direction. That direction lead me to 1000 other things that helped me to build a solid foundation. I'll be 30 years sober in August. I committed my entire first year without a drink to my sobriety. Did pretty much nothing more than learned how to keep the drink down. It was the best 1 year investment of my life. It in fact gave me my life.

I'd suggest getting as honest, open minded, and willing as you possibly can, saying some heartfelt prayers, and start putting one foot in front of the other. There are programs other than AA, but AA is the most accessible, and what worked for me. I can't speak of the other fellowships as I haven't enough knowledge, but please reach out and get active about your sobriety.

Best of luck, and having a liquor store salesperson pray for you has got be some powerful stuff . Wishing you the best.

EverySngleNight

I've only told people that I thought would be supportive, helpful in some way, and non-judgmental.

BrentSC

I purposely avoid telling others and make up stories if I'm asked. The only two groups I would mention it to are family and friends. My family rarely sees me drink, so they would tell just tell me some generic advice about moderation being the key. My friends are mainly drinking buddies with heavy alcohol dependence, so they would be bothered by someone mentioning alcoholism and provide no support.

linds79

You don't have to tell anyone but I think it's a good idea to tell close friends and family when you're ready to. It kind of holds you accountable so they're aware of the situation too. We are only as sick as our secrets right? I would find a new place to get your vitamin water. I heard on another website someone say "if you hang out long enough in a barber shop you'll eventually get a haircut" If you keep going back in there it could be too tempting ...

colagirl

I was only able to get and stay sober when I told my closest friend. It never worked for me to just be accountable to myself. In the beginning, it felt like admitting it to anyone would make the world end. I would have gone to the ends of the earth to keep it a secret. I'm three months in now and have only told a couple of people, but it seems like way less of a big deal now. When I decide not to tell someone it's usually for an external reason (coworkers, my very fragile mom, etc), not because I'm embarrassed about it.

Good luck and welcome to SR!