SniffyGuy50

I had a couple of drinks last night after 3 weeks sober and a little dabble with a few old vices felt a bit guilty this morning but it was a good night remembered it all didnt upset anyone old mates were glad to see me back.Question is if i stay sober for another 3 weeks then do the same again Do I have a problem or am I just like anyone else ? Really not trying to wind anyone up just wonder if I was being a bit hard on myself.What is normal and what is a problem ?

doggonecarl

If you intended to quit drinking and drugging, and then you drink or use, yes it's a relapse.

If you can't quit, despite your intent and best efforts, it could be viewed as a problem. I had the same problem. It's called alcohol addiction. But I found a recovery method that worked for me and I've been sober over three years.

What are doing to stay sober?

Dee74

When I look back at what alcohol and drugs did to my life - doing those things again, even if nothing bad happened that night, would be a mistake for me.

I'm much happier not dabbling in any of that, Sniffy.

You might be too, if you give yourself the chance to experience sobriety. I think 3 weeks is really too short a time to based any experience of sobriety on.

You obviously came here for a reason - you need to decide whether you're all in, or half in kindasorta, I think?

D

SniffyGuy50

I stopped for 3 weeks and yes i did feel and look a lot better so I know every day is to much but people drink and they are not alcoholics ? the use of drugs is harder to justify but in this day and age we all know it goes on ! I really am not trying to undermine anyone just trying to understand myself

SniffyGuy50

Dogg i wasnt doing anything special I just stopped

Mountainmanbob

well you would not just be like any other sober one who stays sober

maybe see if you can go 3 weeks once again
and then add a little more sober time to that

many times I dabbled with the drink after some time sober
eventually these brief periods of sobriety
were always followed by a still worse relapse
Mountainman


We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness.
Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

Welcome to: AA Canada .com - AA, Meetings, Drinking problem, Alcoholism, Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, drinking problem,addiction,Alcoholic help,alcoholism help,treatment,addictions,support,drugs,drug additon,drug additions

Hevyn

Hi Sniffy. I'm glad you wanted to talk about this.

As Dee said - you came here for a reason. Drinking was causing you trouble. Trying to control it could lead you right back there. I was determined not to give it up - but in spite of my best intentions I ended up in a terrible mess. Please be careful.

Dee74

Normal non addicts and non alcoholics don't usually find their way to this side of the board tho Snuffy.

Kinda sounds to me like you're looking for approval.

You don't need approval...you can do whatever you want if you think it's no problem.

I know going off on booze and other vices every three weeks would very soon get away from me - but noone else here can make a determination on what you feel is ok.

I'd recommend against it - I think you're rationalizing and bargaining with your addiction, but in the end it's up to you.

D

Dee74

btw...not sure why you registered again, but is the relapse the same one from this thread or a different one Sniffy?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...p-tonight.html

Finnie

If you can have a night out with your friends every three weeks and remember it. Not cause any trouble and feel good about it the next day.

If you can do that consistently, never letting any of the conditions above turn negative, then you probably are not an alcoholic.

If you find the frequency of nights increasing, trouble happening, not enjoying yourself at the time and the next day etc etc. then you are on a slippery slope to alcoholism.

The big question i. Will you be able to stop if you notice these things happening? None of us know until we are in there knee deep in crap and then it's too late. You are an alcoholic and you can never drink again.

CAPTAINZING2000

If you got to ask, you already know the answer.
Clean and sober is abstinence of drink or drug.

SniffyGuy50

Hevyn
The problem it causes me is im not a nice drunk I can go out sip a few beers and its a good night BUT if I really get on it I am not a nice guy and that makes me feel bad.To stop altogether would be hard as it would mean not seeing mates I have know all my life (I cant be out with drinking people and staying sober they annoy me) stuck between a rock and a hard place

SniffyGuy50

dee74 changed email and it locked me out

Hevyn

I understand Sniffy. The problem is - we can never know where it'll take us once we get it in our system. It changed me too - into someone I didn't even recognize. That's why I had to stop all together. I just couldn't take the chance anymore.

Nonsensical

Those people tend to be rare on this website.

What was your intention when you stopped? Was 3 weeks of sobriety your goal?

least

If you 'only' drink and drug every three weeks I'd call that binging. Just because you only do it every three weeks doesn't mean it isn't a problem.

You wouldn't be here if you didn't think there was a problem.

SniffyGuy50

Life is full of problems so we can deal with some we need some help with !

kleigh

Hi, Sniffy. Thanks for talking to us about this!

I don't think anyone else can judge what is "too much" for you. As several others have already pointed out, the fact that you're a registered, active user on this site probably gives you your answer--you seem to feel you DO have a problem with alcohol and/or drugs.

I think if you choose to drink, it ought to be for a better reason than not being able to tolerate the drunkenness of your friends. Trust me, my friends seem super obnoxious too when they're drunk and I'm sober...but that doesn't give me the excuse to do something that I know, deep down, is harmful for me.

Again, it's all up to you--only you know what your relationship with alcohol/drugs is. Some people can drink/binge once every few weeks, and it never escalates beyond that....but I don't think that anyone on this site is one of those people. This makes me think that you probably aren't either.

Mountainmanbob

forgot to mention in my first post

considering the title of the thread -- Is it a relapse ?

yes -- that's exactly what it would be called in the recovery world

MB

kluhs

***disclaimer - this is my opinion since you asked ***
yes its a relapse and no its not a good idea to think you can do 3 weeks sober, 1 night drunk cycles ... the mere fact that you need to plan it out means you have a problem

i tried similar approach and made all sorts of deals with myself and justifications of why i really was not an alcoholic and it always got back to regular drinking ... the turning point for me was the day i KNEW that i could never drink alcohol again because in the long run i am incapable of moderating alcohol and was starting to see more changes happening (1 bottle of wine became 2 bottles of wine, no hangover, fuzzy memories, waking up in rooms in the house at 2AM and not remembering going to lay down there ... now i am afraid to touch alcohol ever again because i know what the end looks like and i have no interest in reaching that destination