3losthappiness

Hello everyone, my husband has been addicted to narcotics for 8 years! I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown with trying to deal with his addiction. For 8 years I've keep this a secret from family and friends. This week I finally realized I needed to talk with his family and mine, so I told them all plus our close friends. I'm going to my 1st Al-anon meeting tonight. My husband is in denial and says he has no problem! I told him last night I'm moving ou until he had it's he has a problem and gets help. I need some advise whether I'm doing the right thing!

hopeful4

Good for you. Suffering in silence is the worst thing you can do for yourself, you need a support system!

I suggest you head over to the Friends Of Substance Abuse Forum, read the stickies at the top of the page, you will get lots of good history and support.

After eight years it is time to do what you need to do for your own sanity!

Welcome and God Bless!

page58

You are definitely doing the right thing in going to Alanon.

If you feel all alone in this, you're not - those rooms are full of people who will understand you, and that can provide great relief on it's own. There is a solution for you there - ask folks how it worked for them in their experience, what it was like, where they are now.

EverySngleNight

I think you're doing the right thing too. Have you seen a therapist? I'm sure 8 years of this has been extremely emotionally difficult. So sorry for what you've gone through. Whatever conditions you make, stick to them. You have to do what's best for you. You deserve to be happy and to have a good life. Stay strong!

Dee74

Hi 3lost happiness. I'm glad you're going to al-anon.

I think taking care of yourself and not enabling your husband is absolutely the right thing to do

You'll find a lot of support here too, both in this forum and in the Family and Friends forums as well.

D

least

I also think you're doing the right thing. Let him see his consequences first hand. Maybe he'll decide to seek help. I hope you can find some peace in your life.

Anna

I'm glad that you're taking care of yourself.

humblejalopy

So sorry to hear about the pain and frustration you've been going through with this. I'm so glad to hear that you are reaching out for help and finding hope through everything, that's awesome to hear, though I know it's still hard since the problem hasn't been resolved yet.

Have you heard of the book, When Someone You Love Abuses Drugs or Alcohol by Cecil Murphey? I think it could be another helpful resource for you on this journey of healing.

How did the family and friends respond when you told them about it?

3losthappiness

No I haven't heard of that book, but I'm going to go find it for myself! The family was totally in shock! They are like me they don't know what to do. I told them that after 8 years it's time to take control of my life and make changes! I went to my 1st Alan on meeting last night and loved it! I'm also moving out with one of my lovely sister in laws! I told myself that today was going to be the 1st day of a new beginning! I just hope I can find the confidence and strength to do it being I been beat down for so long!

humblejalopy

I am so glad to hear that the meeting went so well, and that you have such solid family support who is giving you a place to stay as you are working through all of this. I do truly hope and pray that this is a new beginning for you, and for your family. Let us know how things are going as you can, and how the meetings and the book are helping along the way.

Blessings to you and your loved ones!

3losthappiness

Hello everyone, I wished I had good news but I don't! Since last Monday I found out my husbands drugs have been costing me between 1500.00 and 2000.00 a month! I have since got control of what money is left from his paycheck last Friday, which was enough to open my own account! Even though he was caught red handed, he still has no problem! Go figure! On a positive note, I'm moving out today! The sad news is I can't take my dogs!

least

I'm glad you're able to move out... but what will happen to your dogs?

3losthappiness

Unfortunately I have to leave them with the addict until I can move my camp trailer out of storage. I'm going to come home everyday while he works. Just before he is due home I will leave. I have some really good friends and neighbors that are going to keep an eye on them and 1 neighbor is a cop! It kills me inside to leave by fur-kids with him but for at least 3 weeks I have no choice!