mbbe

Trying this yet again. Have been the rehab & aa route. Have ever only done this for family. Have never not still wanted to drink. Any help on finding that thing that will make this seem like something I can tolerate forever would help cuz I can't find it. Done it all, nothing makes it better.

KateL

Well you will find lots of support here xxxxxxxxxxxx

doggonecarl

Till you are ready to quit, truly ready, and can accept never drinking again without regrets, you'll likely drink. I doubt that there is anything I can say that's going to click the switch on in your head and make you say, "You're absolutely right, Carl, doggone it, I'm going to quit drinking."

I can say that once you do quit drinking, FOR YOU, and accept not drinking, and get on the path of recovery, that it's a lot easy staying sober than it is to be enslaved to alcohol. I love being free of booze.

mbbe

Thank you, I know very well what you say is true. . I have to come to terms with this and wondered hiw others who may feel like me have been able to accept it. Thank you again for your feedback, I need to hear it.

Nonsensical

By separating myself from my addiction.

I want a sober, happy life.
My addicition wants to drink.
I know that drinking is wrecking everything good in my life.
My addiction doesn't care - it just wants another drink.

My addiction tells me lies. Sometimes they are sweet lies to coax me. You can have just a few. Just be careful. Next time will be different.
Sometimes they are mean lies to coerce me. Your life is sh!t anyways, so why does it matter? You're a worthless bum, so drink up and forget for a few hours!

But they are ALL lies. In 25 years my addiction has not told me one single true thing.

I know the truth. I know that addiction is a liar living in my head. A liar that will steal everything I have if I let it. I want to starve that little turd more than he'll ever want anything. That's fueling my fire.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

least

I kept trying and failing to stop drinking. It wasn't until I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink that I was able to live a sober life.


Welcome to the family!

Climber122

Mbbe,

Quick idea" If you choose, try sorting through your priorities on paper to discover your own motivation to quit drinking alcohol. Maybe make a list with two columns, pros and cons for and against drinking. A pro might be "Makes me feel relaxed" and a con might be "Causes me to miss work with hangovers." Try to be honest and thorough, but don't write a book - take 10 minutes or so to do it. When done, take a look at the list - if the con column outweighs the pro column, maybe that will help you decide you want to try again.

Rehab, AA, counseling - they work in varying degrees, and that's because the "X" factor is your level of motivation - your desire to turn your own will (which currently desires to drink in some capacity) over to the will of someone/thing else (a counselor, a group, a spiritual entity etc). You don't need a lot, but you need to have some small desire to get sober, which it sounds like you have. I know plenty of people who started in recovery by court order or employer mandate, and by opening up and looking for and using the tools that could help them (rather than looking for the flaws in the program) they discovered new motivation within themselves to get sober.

I know how you feel - that feeling of being torn between wanting to quit one week but not wanting to lose your valued and trusted "friend" the bottle the next week. We all have to take that small but huge step in faith: that if recovery has worked for thousands of others just like us, it could also work for us.