New BF relapsed on opiates, quickly turned to Heroin. His family blames me.
 

Hi. Im a Non addict in New Relationship with Opiate Addict (Heroin #1 choice). My first experience w/relapse. His Family blames Me. "he was doing fine until I showed up". Ive read alot about parents of addicts, since then (2-6-14). I havent seen or spoke, wrote him since. Im glad I havent had contact yet until I researched every different aspect. Views, Opinions, actual experiences. Ive plenty of questions and best part is Ive discovered My own issues I was Unaware of; Bad Habits that need change; that I am also Addict and have addictive traits.
I need alot more education on: 'signs of using or thinking about it'. Since relationship fairly new before his relapse "how much of it was Truth and does he rember any of it? Where did Truth stop before Lies started? Thank You

Doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship to me. And his family is nuts to blame you! He's an adult, he makes his own choices.

My question to you is this: what are you getting out of this relationship?

:hug:

Welcome to SR.

A relationship with an addict or alcoholic is so much chaos and drama, I have to ask you something. The early stages of a relationship are where one determines if each person is compatable with the other, has shared values and goals. Why have you, at this crucial time, decided that having an heroin-addicted boyfriend made for a good match?

This is forward of me to suggest, but spare yourself the grief that awaits you down the road and leave this guy. Leave his addiction and any possible future recovery to him, because he's the only one who can do anything about it.

1. You can't fix him.
2. If he recovers again his family will not give you credit for it.
3. Take care of yourself.
4. No, really, you can't fix him.


best of luck on your journey.

Why would you want to be in a relationship with a junkie with all the chaos, drama and heartbreak associated with it? There are plenty of nice men out there who do not use drugs, are responsible and will treat you well. Do you believe you do not deserve the best?

Don't sell yourself short, if you had a daughter or a baby sister would you tell them that a relationship with an active drug user is the best they can do?
Anyway, welcome to SR. I hope you will read other threads from members who have been in long term (and still are) with addicts so you can get a picture of things to come.

I know I sound harsh but you wrote that it is a new relationship so my suggestion would be to get out while you do not have too much vested in it.


Ps: Good call on going no contact. Stay away from him because he ll get you down before you bring him up.

How long was he clean before the relapse?? If it wasn't very long...then why would you get involved with an in very early recovery heroin addict??