Reaching Out....finally.
Pretty Is As Pretty Does
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 82
Step 4
Hello All,
I did my step 4 yesterday, I have quite a list
.
When I started I was writing down things that stood out in my mind that really were causing pain, guilt and shame. Those things came very quickly. Then when I couldn't remember or think of much else. So, I got real quiet with myself and asked my HP to give me every character defect that I have or had. I prayed that I didn't want to leave out anything, I wanted to do this right and once and once only, I want a clean slate after step 5.
I just kept praying and concentrating on that voice in my head that I know is there whenever I tap into it. Within a few moments, words, not phrases where coming into my mind. Words I would never think of. I had a dictionary beside me to look up the meaning if I didn't understand, and low and behold the word applied to me.
This went on for about an hour. Me asking for all the defects to come forth. Then it stopped just like that! The word "STOP" came into my mind. It was over there was nothing left, I had them all.
Interestingly, while I was searching for those final defects, positve words were coming to my mind, so I was writing those down on a different sheet of paper. And the same, they were words I've never reffered myself as. It was as if my HP was reminding me that yes I have defects but I also have these wonderful characteristics too, and not to forget that.
I'm going to another meeting at noon, and looking forward to it. I'm going to ask my sponsor when we can do my step 5. I ready!!
Have a dazzling day all. Thanks for being here.
Wuv Christine
I did my step 4 yesterday, I have quite a list
.When I started I was writing down things that stood out in my mind that really were causing pain, guilt and shame. Those things came very quickly. Then when I couldn't remember or think of much else. So, I got real quiet with myself and asked my HP to give me every character defect that I have or had. I prayed that I didn't want to leave out anything, I wanted to do this right and once and once only, I want a clean slate after step 5.
I just kept praying and concentrating on that voice in my head that I know is there whenever I tap into it. Within a few moments, words, not phrases where coming into my mind. Words I would never think of. I had a dictionary beside me to look up the meaning if I didn't understand, and low and behold the word applied to me
.This went on for about an hour. Me asking for all the defects to come forth. Then it stopped just like that! The word "STOP" came into my mind. It was over there was nothing left, I had them all.
Interestingly, while I was searching for those final defects, positve words were coming to my mind, so I was writing those down on a different sheet of paper. And the same, they were words I've never reffered myself as. It was as if my HP was reminding me that yes I have defects but I also have these wonderful characteristics too, and not to forget that.
I'm going to another meeting at noon, and looking forward to it
. I'm going to ask my sponsor when we can do my step 5. I ready!!Have a dazzling day all. Thanks for being here.
Wuv Christine
JUSTINE
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: perth
Posts: 46
Hi Christine
Hi Christine,
Best Way To Put It Into Words Is To Not Think About It Just Start Writing And It Will Pour Outta You.you Got To Get All Those Nasty Bad Thoughts And This Is The Best Place As There Is No Judgement On What You Say Just Lots And Lots-a Understanding And Compassion.
Your Feelings Count Here We All Care What You Have To Say!!!!
Best Way To Put It Into Words Is To Not Think About It Just Start Writing And It Will Pour Outta You.you Got To Get All Those Nasty Bad Thoughts And This Is The Best Place As There Is No Judgement On What You Say Just Lots And Lots-a Understanding And Compassion.
Your Feelings Count Here We All Care What You Have To Say!!!!
Paused
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: left of center
Posts: 68
Hi Christine!
I think it is sooooooooo wonderful that you are jumping right into this stepwork... Really is! And what a neat process you went through. You must really have been ready for that 4th, because your seem to be well connected to your own higher power - and in a good space around all that - knowing that if you reach out, HP will be there for you. That is the third step in action for sure! I love how this program works. We have the same roadmap, you know? but all of us take our own journey to get to that point of freedom. And the point of freedom can always go higher and higher as we can continue to broaden the base upon which we build our foundation in recovery. It is a gift to be a part of this.
You know... I don't know how you feel about this, but my understanding is that we will be doing these steps for the rest of our lives... that we may do many many more 4th steps as we continue to grow in recovery. I believe that. I believe that my higher power put the things into my 4th step for me to look at that were "right" for right where I am today in my healing and my growth. I believe wholeheartedly that when I get done doing my first formal round of 1 through 12, well, I will go right back to the beginning again and start the process over. And I also believe that I can apply ANY step at any given time in my path where it is applicable to what I am going through. That is another way my sponsor helps me so much... when I come to her and tell her what is going on with me in my life - at any given point she can listen and remind me which step(s) I can be working around that stuff. There is ALWAYS a solution in the steps!
Right now I am on my 7th step and it is a beautiful place to be... working on nurturing the spiritual principles I want to have and some I already do... while leaving it to my higher power to handle the removal process with regard to the shortcomings that are continuing to hinder my further growth. I have seen clearly - through working the 6th step, how ultimately powerless I am over their actual REMOVAL... another spot for working the 1st... I am powerless over their existence... I am powerFUL over my choices and my behaviors - but that is about it... the rest is not up to me! and even that is practice practice practice!
I love listening to people getting inspired by stepwork! It inspires me even further. Thank you for sharing that with us! You made me smile today!
hugs, amanda
I think it is sooooooooo wonderful that you are jumping right into this stepwork... Really is! And what a neat process you went through. You must really have been ready for that 4th, because your seem to be well connected to your own higher power - and in a good space around all that - knowing that if you reach out, HP will be there for you. That is the third step in action for sure! I love how this program works. We have the same roadmap, you know? but all of us take our own journey to get to that point of freedom. And the point of freedom can always go higher and higher as we can continue to broaden the base upon which we build our foundation in recovery. It is a gift to be a part of this.
You know... I don't know how you feel about this, but my understanding is that we will be doing these steps for the rest of our lives... that we may do many many more 4th steps as we continue to grow in recovery. I believe that. I believe that my higher power put the things into my 4th step for me to look at that were "right" for right where I am today in my healing and my growth. I believe wholeheartedly that when I get done doing my first formal round of 1 through 12, well, I will go right back to the beginning again and start the process over. And I also believe that I can apply ANY step at any given time in my path where it is applicable to what I am going through. That is another way my sponsor helps me so much... when I come to her and tell her what is going on with me in my life - at any given point she can listen and remind me which step(s) I can be working around that stuff. There is ALWAYS a solution in the steps!
Right now I am on my 7th step and it is a beautiful place to be... working on nurturing the spiritual principles I want to have and some I already do... while leaving it to my higher power to handle the removal process with regard to the shortcomings that are continuing to hinder my further growth. I have seen clearly - through working the 6th step, how ultimately powerless I am over their actual REMOVAL... another spot for working the 1st... I am powerless over their existence... I am powerFUL over my choices and my behaviors - but that is about it... the rest is not up to me! and even that is practice practice practice!
I love listening to people getting inspired by stepwork! It inspires me even further. Thank you for sharing that with us! You made me smile today!
hugs, amanda
Keep truckin' and postin'!
Pretty Is As Pretty Does
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 82
Back from my lunch hour meeting it was a dosey.
Thanks for the encouragement Friends! I haven't exactly jumped in these steps, I've been playing around with 1, 2,3, and 4 for over 5 years. It's time. My biggest kick in the you know what is having found a sponsor after all this time too. What an inspiration!! I feel so good, I just want it to last. I'm one of those people who starts feeling way too good for their own good and walk away from the people and process that was helping me achieve that success. Give me a week 
, thems just jokes.
Mr. D (sponsor) told me when I get that feeling that I go to step 11, not now, but RIGHT now, "Sought through prayer and meditation (not MEDICATION) to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." and I know God's will is kind, compassionate, accepting and filled with love and joy!!!
Have a FAB day people.
Peace Out \/
it was a dosey.Thanks for the encouragement Friends! I haven't exactly jumped in these steps, I've been playing around with 1, 2,3, and 4 for over 5 years. It's time
. My biggest kick in the you know what is having found a sponsor after all this time too. What an inspiration!! I feel so good, I just want it to last. I'm one of those people who starts feeling way too good for their own good and walk away from the people and process that was helping me achieve that success. Give me a week , thems just jokes.Mr. D (sponsor) told me when I get that feeling that I go to step 11, not now, but RIGHT now, "Sought through prayer and meditation (not MEDICATION) to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." and I know God's will is kind, compassionate, accepting and filled with love and joy!!!
Have a FAB day people.
Peace Out \/
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Originally Posted by ChristineC
"Sought through prayer and meditation (not MEDICATION) to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."
Thanks for the update Christine. And humor will go a long way in our recovery. Medication... 
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