Do I need to tell anyone?
 

I haven't, yet (besides you guys). No one knows of my plan to got to my 1st AA meeting tomorrow, no one knows I was drinking everyday and that I decided to stop the madness two days ago.

To be quite honest, I don't think anyone knows me at all. It's like I'm an actress and I've been given the starring role in the movie of my life called "The Normal Me". When I see people, they see a version of me that hasn't been around in years. It's exhausting....I'm tired of pretending and just want to live without all the crap in my head 24/7. I just want to be the real me without faking it. I know I'm in there, I'm just so lost.

I'm not gonna say anything yet, for fear they won't believe it's as bad as it is. Because I know, then I won't think it's as bad as it is...........and I will drink.

Thanks for listening....

Good for you!!!! You don't need to tell anyone, unless you want to.

If it's bad enough for you to want to stop, then it's definatly time to stop. You've made the right choice, well done. Life gets so much better when you're sober!

You are not alone. I've felt like that a lot too throughout my life. That I was playing a part I wanted others to see. It's only recently, that I feel that I'm being more authentic. Nevertheless, I'm a very private person and while people know I've quit drinking, they don't know why. I don't plan to tell them why I've removed drinking from my life, just that I don't drink.

A woman I met in AA told me her biggest mistake in her first round of sobriety was not telling friends and family. It allowed her to relapse so much more easily without anyone saying anything. I struggle with this too, but in the end, if I truly want to be sober, I think being honest with friends and family give added protection from relapse.

I really don't talk about my past drinking issues with anyone, it's none of their business and my journey through recovery has been incredibly personal.

I do, however, keep my work/professional life very seperate

I see no need to tell anyone either. Your recovery is your business and no one else's. The only people I told was my shrink and my dad. (my kids didn't need to be told, they could see I had a problem and was working on it)

That's a worry I have too. I was thinking maybe that was the reason of me keeping it quiet. I don't want to disappoint the people who may support me if I told them and then had a drink. Also, if I don't tell anyone, no one would know the difference if I had a drink or 10....except me of course.

I'm gonna keep quiet for now, go to the meeting tomorrow night, and read posts here tonight.

Was seriously thinking about getting a bottle of wine tonight, drove to the local store, and bought a doublestuff Oreos instead. Had about 2305902385 of them so not really in the mood to drink anymore! I might end up in Overeaters anonymous once I get this drinking problem under control!

I told people I stopped drinking but didn't tell a bunch of people I'm an alcoholic. I told my husband. That was enough.

idont think i will tell anyone but whatever you feel, its up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Good luck!!

it talks about the actor in the AA Big Book
Mountainman




1.

... actor. BB Into Action, p.73 View INTO ACTION chapter

He is very much the actor.



2.

... actor is self-centered -- ego-centric, as people like ... BB How It Works, p.61 View HOW IT WORKS chapter

Our actor is self-centered -- ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays.



3.

... actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. BB How It Works, p.61 View HOW IT WORKS chapter

In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous.



4.

... actor who wants to run the whole ... BB How It Works, p.60 View HOW IT WORKS chapter

Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way.

Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

I am exactly the same. Until recently nobody knew how bad my problem with alcohol was, then a few people caught on. My daughter and a couple of my best friends know now, and I can't say that it really has helped. Now I feel like I'm in a fishbowl, with them watching me to see if I'll slip up. My partner and I recently parted ways, and I got a new roommate, and I feel like she and my daughter communicate together about me and she tells my daughter things that are none of er business. As for being an actress, I have done that for decades. Everyone believing I had such a great marriage, family,
job (which is the only real good thing I DID have) nice home, volunteering at school, ect. In reality, I was depressed, in debt, living with a husband who was emotionally not there for me, hoarding so that the outside of my house looked OK but I didn't want anyone to come over, and finally got divorced. the best thong I've done in my life is to bring up a nice, responsible, loving daughter, and if I don't get the alcohol under control I could even lose her, so I need to keep at it.

Is that an analogy in the big book or a general disdain towards actors? Am I being thick? :) It's up to you who you feel comfortable telling xxxx

You have to do whatever feels right for you - whatever is putting the least pressure on yourself. Just go day by day.

I did exactly the same thing when it came to my life. How "great" it is to be me, not a worry in the world :(

Tell whoever you feel comfortable telling. The few people I told didn't believe me anyway. You sound like you are preparing for that to be a trigger and it probably will be. Maybe don't use the term "alcoholic". I have told some family members it "got out of control" or "just got weird". For some reason the term "alcoholic" makes people look at you and say "No your not". I didn't tell my husband until 2 weeks afterward because I was just too depressed to have that conversation until then.

Interesting and I agree. I do believe most "normal" drinkers wouldn't believe I was an alcoholic. Hell, sometimes even I don't believe it. I do believe that alcohol is affecting my life negatively in every area. I do believe that it will only get worse, and I do believe that my life is just wasting away while I drink.

So when I do tell them, I will use what you've said and maybe they will understand it a bit better. Thanks.

Yes, this is me, too.

At the end my drinking was alone so no one would know how much I drank.
The reason I started drinking to begin with was to be social. The drinking had taken me away from family and friends.

I am still tend to keep to myself in a large group of people at least I will be in a large group now.

Good luck at the meeting. Meetings are the place I'm around people that understand how I'm feeling