hopefulyogi

I had 8 days sober and then I drank last night. I saw it coming. I knew it would happen. I didn't really want to stop it. I woke up hungover, depressed, and hating myself. I did my typical "text everyone about how depressed I am and how much I hate myself" And had to go through a morning of checking my phone, feeling sick to my stomach about what I had said, and apologizing to people again. I know I should just take this as a reminder of why I need to be sober to be happy....but I have the rest of the bottle in my freezer and cannot bring myself to dump it. I guess I am just looking for some accountability to dump the booze instead of drinking them today. I'm meeting with my sponsor tonight and I don't want any alcohol in my system for that....but it is still so tempting......

ScottFromWI

We can suggest you dump it, and I certainly do...but only you can make the choice to actually do it.

least

You know yourself that you should dump it. Do you just want us to 'make you' do that? Ok, dump the damn stuff!

EverySngleNight

Maybe you could text/call your sponsor and tell them that you have booze in the house and are struggling to throw it out?? IMHO- just go dump it now. Don't think about it- just do it! Put an exclamation point on "I need to be sober to be happy!" by pouring it down the drain. You CAN do this, and I hope you will.

This can be the last time you ever have to go through this. Sending you my best!

hopefulyogi

I'm not sure what I want/need. All I know is I've been doing mental gymnastics over dumping the damn stuff for over an hour now....

hopefulyogi

I did text my sponsor....she said she can't decide for me.....which I get. I don't know. I really hate my brain right now. It is just exhausting.

ScottFromWI

Why don't you call your sponsor now instead of waiting until tonight. Or call another number.

KateL

Go on..dump it xxxx

OliveDog

Just dump it. Fast! Like a band aid.

You can always buy more. I'll even send you the money if you can track me down.

hopefulyogi

My sponsor is at work so I can't call her. I did try to call another friend in AA but didn't get through. Ultimately, I know I've just being dramatic. I mean really, unscrew the top, dump out the contents, throw away the bottle....no drama needed. Obviously it is something much deeper going on with not wanting to let go. Regardless, I still need to dump and not drink it.

ReadyAtLast

stay on SR as long asyou want. just throw the booze away -once removed it's gone

EverySngleNight

Well, it's true... Nobody can do it for you, but nobody can stop you either! Look at all the negativity it's bringing you. All the apologies and anxiety. Isn't it easier to dump it out? You can make a decision to get things back on track. It starts with making good choices... pour it out. That's all.

ScottFromWI

Actuallly, it's not - it's just your addiction wanting you to keep drinking. You have the choice to listen to it or not. Dump it out.

Dasheisdone

Sometimes you jut have to take the path less chosen....dump it!

Dasheisdone

You will feel better after you dump it too! Empowering:-)

Dee74

I hope you dumped it HopefulYogi.

Non drinkers like us have no need to keep booze around

D

GreenEggsAndHam

Do something kind for yourself and dump it.

hopefulyogi

I havent yet. I' haven't had any either. I just keep feeling like I want to hold on to it in case I need it after I meet with my sponsor tonight. We are going over my resentment list and I am worried I will feel overwhelmed and need an escape after.

Dee74

That's just fear and addictive thinking yogi.

What's the worst that could happen if you dumped the bottle, still felt overwhelmed later, but went to bed, and woke up tomorrow, having got through it?

Wouldn't that a be a good thing?

I know it's scary, but engaging with reality is not half as scary as we convince ourselves it is.

You can do this

D

hopefulyogi

Ok, I dumped it. I did feel the need to sabotage myself by taking a pretty large swig first but I didn't drink it all and I didn't have more than maybe 2 shots so I should be sober in 2 hours to meet with my sponsor (if I feel it at all)