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kittenwings 06-23-2004 05:36 AM

feeling sick
 
Hello. well i have had no drinks all day and night and now i feel horrably sick to my stomach. i couldn't sleep at all last night. i am feeling paranoid and my skin is crawling. i've tried to shower over and over but with no relief. i called my mother in the middle of the night to tell her how i was feeling and she told me "of course you feel like that, stupid, now go drink a beer or two and you'll feel better and will be able to sleep and stop saying you think you've got a problem it's not you except you were much easier to get along with when you smoked pot" needless to say i did not need to hear any of that. I do feel like a have a problem. So she showed up at 8 a.m and actually brought me a JUG of wine can you believe that and told me " here this should last to 'till i get off of work and it will definately make you feel better" so here i sit staring at a jug of wine, no sleep, sick to my stomach and crawling skin and a mom who's telling me i am stupid for quiting " after all look at me...i've been drinking for over 30 yrs and you don't hear me whinning like a little girl" I guess i just need a little encouragement that i am doing the right thing and not just being stupid. i don't want to feel like this anymore. Thank you. Erika

Anna 06-23-2004 06:41 AM

Hi Erika,

Often our families just don't understand. My family didn't understand either that I could not drink at all. Of course, sometimes people encourage us to drink because it eases their consciences and validates their own drinking. So, ultimately you just need to do what you believe is right.

The withdrawls won't last too much longer and you'll begin to feel much better. Of course, it might be a good idea to go to your dr to be checked out.

Hang in there!

Love, Anna

indigo 06-23-2004 06:47 AM

Erika,
You are doing just fine, you hang on and the withdrawls will stop.
Love Indigo

jenniferaz1980 06-23-2004 08:19 AM

Congrates Kitten on one day clean. That is a GREAT start.

It will get better and you can do this.

Thunder 06-23-2004 10:22 AM

Getting and staying sober is the very best thing you can possibly do for yourself right now. Hang in there sweetie.
I haven't dealt with withdrawl, but lots of people in here have.
Being clean will make you feel better than anything you could put in your body. Just hang tight and things will get easier.
big hugs

KelKel 06-23-2004 10:58 AM

Hi Kitten
My heart goes out to you. You are going to have to set your mom straight.
You can do without that sort of support.
Withdrawals really suck... but they do pass. I have to literally sweat it out.
Hopefully I am through with that yucky stuff and you can be too!
You have come to a great place with alot of Experience, Strength and Hope.
Please look at getting into a support group and seeing a doctor if you need to.
Naltrexone is good for helping with the cravings and not allowing the alcohol to feel like it is working, maybe you could ask about that.
:hug:

eddie z. 06-23-2004 11:07 AM

I would get to a doctor if I were you, and AVOID your mother!! Like everybody said, HANG IN THERE. We all wish you the very best.
Love, Eddie Z. (the really cool chick)

kittenwings 06-23-2004 08:51 PM

Thank you all. i appreciate the support and knowing that i am doing the right thing. I was pretty sure i was a drug addict more than an alcoholic but i guess you can be both at the same time huh? well it is very hard for me to avoid my mom since i have noone else but my family in my life. i kinda dropped all of my "friends" and stay to myself and i kinda in a way set her straight. well more like bit her head off between feeling like damn it mixed with some of that o'le whut the **** and lack of sleep i told her where she could go and how to get there right on the back of that there bottle. i will have to admit it made me feel kinda good almost like i was talkin' straight to my problem, maybe that sounds stupid but i don't care.
I wouldn'ta had the courage to do it without the words by some of ya'll that had been givin' to me and i am very grateful to have come into the knowin's of such wonderful people. Thanks Ya'll. Erika
P.S. thank you Jesus for bein' there for me!!! I love you man

Thunder 06-23-2004 09:02 PM

Nice Erika!
Don't really no what to say, except /applause
gewd job!

kittenwings 06-23-2004 09:12 PM

thanks man and i am sooo looking forward to friday. i have a drug test and i KNOW i will be clean. what a feeling. i am so nervous, anxious, and a whole lotta other stuff. Dude i hope i don't freak out or nothin' but i am so determined to prove to myself that it was all a lie and i can do it that i almost HAVE to. ok i promise when you hear from me on friday i will be able to say it was my first clean test ever, and i did it because there were people out there who didn't even know me but believed in me. Thank again man. Erika

Chy 06-23-2004 09:19 PM

Wow! That's gotta be a toughy! But as mentioned, some just don't understand. Stay strong, and if mom is offering that type of support, perhaps, she needs to keep her distance until your stronger, and feeling better. Withdrawal is no fun, but fortunatly the worst of it should be over in 3-4 day's after that, some insominia, anxiety, and irritability is normal, and will eventually get better. Don't give up we do believe in you!

eddie z. 06-23-2004 09:38 PM

YOU GO, GIRL!!! You sound like you're feeling better already. Keep up the good work.
Love, Eddie

:funjump: :headbange :funjump:

1_day@_a_time 06-23-2004 09:40 PM

Sounds like maybe your Mom does not want to quit, and sounds like maybe you do!

After almost 30 yrs of drinking and using, I'm sober close to 2 yrs now. It's worth it! It's a MUCH better way of life!

Tom

kittenwings 06-23-2004 09:45 PM

well mom thinks everything in life is either you do it or you don't it's it and that's that. she believes that people don't really "suffer" from withdrawls that it's all your head. and i just tell her what-ever. i do have a question though if you don't mind i was wondering about how long do you let people stay here and get stuff out and get over it? is it a ok you're clean bye type thing or is a you are here for as long as you need to be type thing? i don't know maybe it's a stupid question but i was just worried about how long i had to get sober and recover. like a time limit ya know.awe man maybe its that whole anxiety thing or maybe its just me being paranoid about doing this and talking to people and scared. is that stupid or does a lot of people go through this?

Thunder 06-23-2004 10:02 PM

Well, I'm new to these boards too. But I think its safe to say that people are here for you for as long as you're wanting to be sober. Whatever it takes. For as long as it takes.
Don't stress that anyone here is going to bail on you. That won't happen.
big hugs :)

eddie z. 06-23-2004 10:10 PM

Tell your mom that people die from alcohol withdrawals in about 5% of cases last I heard.
As far as your staying here goes, recovery is a lifelong proposition because addiction is a lifelong disease. In other words, stay as long as you like or need to!

You're not able to sleep, are you? Chamomile tea might help some if you have any. Just keep hanging on.
Love, Eddie

2dayzmuse 06-23-2004 10:15 PM

Kitten
You can come here when you want and stay as long as you want....forever. Is that what your asking? You see, when you suffer with an addiction unfortuanatly, you have to deal with it forever. Some of the people here are active user wanting to get sober. Some like myself are sober for 30+ days some are sober for 8+yrs. Some people aren't addicts at all, but have a loved one who is. We all come here for support when we feel down and need some good advice. Sharing and getting things out in the open, is good therapy for what is troubling us. As I'm sure you already know, your mother has given you some incorrect information. Symptoms of alcohol withdrawal is not controlled by your mind. It truely is a very real physical symptom. I know first hand. I remember it vividly. It continued until all the alcohol had eleviated from my system. That can take anywhere from 3 to 10 days. It is extremly unpleasant, but it does get better. It is well worth it. It varies from individual to individual. Keep coming back and post whenever you like. Good luck and be strong. It's hard to maintain sobriety, especially when family members don't understand how important it is for you to succeed in your recovery.

Take Care,
Talia

1_day@_a_time 06-23-2004 10:20 PM

HANG HERE AS LONG AS YOU WISH!

A N D , ask any question you would like.........anytime!

Anxiety does seem to be an issue for many alkies/ addicts........has been for me all my lfe. Also, projecting ahead, and not staying in the moment. But today, I'm much better in that dept!

Eddie & Talia are right, withdrawals are very real, and can be very serious.

Tom

kittenwings 06-23-2004 11:05 PM

hi. i am not doing so well being able to get to sleep but i got some sleep the other night and then i stopped drinking on top of everything and now i can't. i lay there and stare at the ceilling and then i kept hearing stuff so i got nervous and now i am just where i don't have any understaningableiveness<<<< i am not sure if that is the right word but any i am not sure of what i was thinking for so long. why do i keep thinking that maybe i really didn't drink that much i just made myself think i did but i know that when i woke up and had to drink before i even took a shower and just couldn't function and then maybe it wasn't the alcohol it was the drugs that made me like that so when i am all done being recovered from craving drugs i can handle just one or two drinks. well now that i see it on paper i think thats the problem. i think to darn much and need to just stop. obviously i have a bigger problem than i am willing to admit to myself and i need to seek help. dudes does it really never stop? am i gonna be on this rollar coaster for the rest of my life? i thought i could do this and was feeling pretty good about it for a minute but i don't know. i am sorry about going on. thanks
one day at a time huh? why does everyday seem to be longer than the last?

2dayzmuse 06-23-2004 11:31 PM

It is a very long, hard battle. The first few days are the hardest. The addiction is playing games with your mind. It wants you to give in to the cravings. Your body is use to the alcohol and doesn't like the adjustment it is going through. Be strong. The anxiety and doubts you are experiencing is a very normal response. The sleeplessness is too. Don't give in, keep fighting it. Find something to do to keep yourself as occupied as possible. I hope the bottle of wine isn't still in the house. That would be to much of a temptation. If it is, dump it. Get rid of it. If the thought of one day at a time is to hard, break it down to one minute at a time. You can wait a minute. I know you can. You've made it this far. The hardest part is almost over. If you drink you know what will happen. You'll then have to start the horrible process all over again. One minute at a time Kitten. If I can do it you can do it. I know you can. Only 30 minutes away from another new 24.

Take Care of yourself,

Talia :headbange


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