gettingbetter64

I feel guilty even posting this, today is my day 2 once again. I'll have a week sober or so then I'll feel like I can handle drinking only to realize once again I can't. I wouldn't wish my alcoholism on anyone. I have been to AA a few times I enjoyed it when I went. I have been a daily drinker for 6 years and I'm terrified of this going on for any longer. I feel so much shame that I would allow this to go on for so long. My biggest trigger seems to boredom. This makes me feel so sick to even write this but I look at the past 6 years and it's been going on for so long I couldn't imagine my life a different way. I just myself to finally get it and stick to being sober. I'm just looking for support,how many tries or attempts did it take for everyone to finally just get it?

ScottFromWI

The number of times you try to quit is not really important. Most of us have tried multiple times. What makes the difference is really wanting it and putting in the time/work to get sober. It's not something that will just magically happen, and it's hard - one of the hardest things you'll most likely ever have to do. And you need to work on it every single day, not just for a few days and then hope for the best.

You mentioned you tried AA a few times and enjoyed it, why did you quit? It's a great way to get started and get some structure.

doggonecarl

If you can't work yourself out of this cycle, you'll have countless more relapses. As soon as we alcoholics start justifying the drinking...we drink.

You need a strategy in place to deal with your brain ability to "forget" your decision to quit, and "think" you can handle it. You know you can't. Don't let it get to the point where you try.

gettingbetter64

I'm going to try to go a meeting today. The roads are awful because of this snow,I'm so sick of the winter. I go to individual therapy about once a week, the more thearpy I get the more I seem to be making better choices(go figure) and not running to the bottle.

gettingbetter64

I'm going to write down how drinking makes me feel,before,during,after and anytime I think I can drink again,I need to drill all the reasons into my head as to why I can't.

SeaScape

Getting sober is not easy but I never ever ever regret not drinking. I remember that when I feel like I want a beer. I always regret drinking because I can't just have one! Stay strong and reach out for support!

PurpleKnight

Never feel guilty for seeking help and support . . . the worst thing to do is isolate yourself and not reach out.

Not sure if anyone has ever "got it" on the first time, slipping just means trying something else until it works!!

Keep pushing through!!

Nonsensical

I quit drinking at least a hundred times.

I started living sober once.

You wrote that you've been living this way so long you can't imagine another way. I call bullsh!t. Nobody posts on this forum because they can't imagine another way.

What you're having trouble imagining is how to get there from here.

There are many paths. Some people use AA, some people use RR/AVRT, some people use SMART, some people develop their own personal recovery program.
Read.
Learn.
Ask questions.

Welcome to the fight of your life.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.

12mancan

Boredom has been a big trigger for me as well... keep trying, it doesn't matter if you haven't been successful, yet, that's true for everyone until they find out what works for them... you'll get there!

Birdygirl

Have you tried a diversion?
I find that keeping my mind busy is helpful.
Knitting, watching a series on Netflix, baking... find something to occupy your mind... read to learn about something you have always been interested in.

Plus I think you really have to have a change of mindset in order to stop drinking.

I have "wanted" to stop many, many, many, manny times, but recently, I have made a decision that I HAVE to stop.

There's no other option at this time.

I don't understand what it is in me that makes me stop by the store for that wine when I know I don't want to drink... still learning ~ I'm only on day 4.

Wishing you much luck in your recovery journey.

gettingbetter64

I really need to tell myself I don't have an option I can't drink weather I want to or not.

hopeful4

Have you thought about rehab at all? It sounds like you could use some help.

Good Luck and God Bless!

gettingbetter64

I have thought about outpatient before but even with my insurance it was way to much. I also really don't want to loose my job. I want to start going to at least one AA meeting each day.

matt4x4

I cant count how many times I tried it my way. Once I tried it the way its outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it worked. I kept plugging away at it, kept on doing the work and I am sober today, by the grace of god and AA.

ReadyAtLast

I used Rational Recovery: AVRT- maybe look at the website and I would recommend the book. It's about finding what does work for you-try different things till one works for you,Concentrate on what you're goingto do ,not what you're not going to do

gettingbetter64

Thanks for all the responses I'm looking at the AVRT website now

least

I'm glad you found us and joined the family.